Every day that I have been looking for jobs I've applied to between 4 and 5 of them. I've sifted through pages and pages of advertisements looking for something that would be at least moderately interesting and would help with the rent. And I'm freaking out.
Part of the reason I'm freaking out is because we have yet to rent out the house in Phoenix. That has been a long and annoying road on which many service people have dragged their feet every step of the way. It's a stressful thing, and expensive for us while it isn't rented. I am hoping this is the month. So I cross my fingers while I try and look for a job.
In the mean time, I'm trying to keep a calm enough mind to write. What many writers don't talk about is that time when you're barely able to pay your bills and how the impacts your writing. Let me make it plain for you - it sucks major balls.
When you worry about money, for anyone who ever has, it impacts every aspect of your life. You worry about how you will pay for your electricity. You worry how you will pay for gas. You worry about how you will eat. Then if you can buy food, you worry what you will be able to eat. This last one is especially concerning for me being on P90x because healthy food tends to be more expensive (let's not even touch the subject of whey protein powder costs).
But being poor makes it difficult to be creative. At least, for me. The energy it takes to try and address the money problem is so great, that I find it difficult to put my creative juices to writing when I feel obligated to put it towards my finances. I don't even feel like I can use my creative energies to promote my book, and I really NEED to do that if I want it to go anywhere. You see the issue.
I am no stranger to pinching pennies, and I know this time is supposed to be coming to a close. This is a temporary situation. All I need is someone to rent the house in Phoenix OR get a job and already I would have a little more space to relax and focus on the other half of this equation. The problem is I feel like I've been living in this "temporary" situation for a long time, and I want it to be over. Ironically, the most financially stable I've ever been was when we lived in Phoenix, and that was when I was unhappiest.
May Bakersfield be a place where I am financially stable and happy. This is my solemn wish. Send good thoughts people - I really need to write!