Monday, January 17, 2011

Missing Piece - When Your Spouse Is Away

When you marry someone, you don't realize how much you will come to rely on that person's presence.  Like the sun rising in the east and setting in the west, things growing and dying and growing again in seasons, or your bed being there when you come home at the end of the day, you just expect them to be there.  It's no wonder that it feels so strange when they aren't.

It's true that Christian is only going to be gone for two nights, but no matter how many times he goes away (or I do), no matter how long or short the time apart is, I don't get used to it.  It always feels like a part of me is missing. I keep waiting to hear him laughing at something he read online, or make a joke about some political or cultural figure. 

This type of situation - where another person becomes part of yourself - it sneaks up on you.  At first you don't realize it's happening.  But then a year or so of living together goes by and you're suddenly faced with your first separation.  It's easier when you're the one going away because you have something planned to occupy your time.  It's much more difficult to be the one left behind, trying to carry on with your daily routine all while missing a major piece - your spouse.

So in the meantime, I sleep in the middle of the bed (it minimizes the missing) and send good vibes Christian's way (that just generally makes me feel better).  It probably doesn't hurt that I have a love-bug for a kitty.

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