Friday, April 15, 2011

Moving, Distance, & Writing - Trifecta of Anxiety

I've been having trouble writing for the last couple days.  I think this is for several reasons.  First and foremost, my in-laws are coming today and they're taking all our stuff.  We will literally be sleeping on an air mattress for a week.  I'm not even sure how many chairs we'll have.  That, ironically, will put an additional damper on my writing because let's face it.  A netbook isn't very ergonomic during the best of times, let alone when you're slumped against a wall with it on your lap.

Secondly, I'm excited and anxious.  I'm going to be in Santa Barbara for two months while Christian will be across the country in New Jersey doing his BMW STEP program.  I'm excited because I'm glad I'll be able to spend time with my family.  I'm anxious because I want to be able to do  something while I'm there.  I hate being bored and I'm worried about being able to find a summer job.  More than wondering what I'll do while I'm there, I'm concerned about being away from Christian for two months. 

It's true that we lived across the world from one another while I was in India for six months.  But it nearly broke us apart and it was one of the most emotionally turbulent times in both of our lives.  Literally, the death of one of Christian's friends is what saved our relationship (sounds weird and twisted, but it's true). 

Needless to say, two months with cell phones and a three hour time difference is nothing like being across the world without an easy way to call one another. Still, it will be the longest we've been apart since we have been married, and we are a couple that is glued to the hip.

I am one of those lucky people who married their best friend.  We hang out everyday and we love it.  We dance in the grocery store and decide at the drop of a hat to go on hiking adventures.  We mock bad movies, experiment with new recipes, and share in household responsibilities. I calm him down when he's freaked out and he does the same for me.  We've definitely had our ups and downs, but over all, I couldn't have been more blessed than I am with our relationship. 

Many people might welcome the chance to be away from their spouse for several months straight.  It gives them a break from the bad choices they made.  On the other hand, I know I'm going to have to be busy all the time so I don't think about the distance between us.  From the times when we've been apart, even for a short time, I know everything that happens, I will have to tell Christian.  There will be something that will happen on a given day when I will wish I could share a knowing look with Christian because only he would understand why I'm laughing.

It makes sense then, that I'm having difficulty focusing on writing when I'm about to be relegated to sleeping on an air mattress (followed in quick succession by the hardest futon on which I've ever been unlucky enough to sleep), and then be away from my other half for two months.  Writing is probably number 3 on my mind.

I'm still thinking about it.  I pick up the story every now and then, write a thousand words, and then frantically play speed solitaire to get my mind off things.  Hopefully Santa Barbara will bring a slight calming effect and I can settle into a bit more of a writing routine. Cross your fingers!

FYI: I'm hoping by the end of May to have The Brothers available in an ebook form on all the major sites.  For those of you with e-readers, please spread the word and set aside a few bucks for it! Cover summary is coming soon! :-)

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