Sunday, June 19, 2011

Settling is For Wusses - Get What You Really Want

Everyone has their pet peeves.  I for example, hate it when people decide to drive 50 mph in the left lane of a four lane highway.  Technically the left lane is the passing lane, and should be reserved for times when you are passing someone.  You shouldn't hang out in the left lane.

In fact, I have a number of driving pet peeves, but in the grand scheme of life, the universe, and everything, they are relatively minor.  One of the things that really bugs me to NO END that is more major is when people don't go after what they really want and settle.

It drives me CRAZY when people settle. 

Settling for less than exactly what you want is essentially giving up and deciding not to actively participate in your own life.  And, you should be the master of your life.  That's why it's your life, not mine, or anyone else's. 

Technically, yes, it is your choice to settle, to do something stupid, to be miserable. But isn't that the stupidest thing you've ever heard in your life? Why the hell would ANYONE choose to be miserable? Why would you settle for anything less than exactly what you want?  It isn't logical.  It doesn't make sense. It is, in fact, as stupid as person can possibly get.

My only guess, the only logical explanation for why someone would choose to settle and be utterly miserable in life is one of two things. 
  1. The person hates him or herself. Therefore, they think they deserve misery and attract it and therefore need counseling...or...
  2. They're delusional and need professional counseling.
So, if we use logic then we see this person needs counseling to develop a sense of self-worth and or they need someone to help them break their shell of delusion. In either situation, third party intervention is necessary because no one actually wants to be miserable. No one seeks this out intentionally, except within these particular situations.

Okay, its true that settling doesn't necessarily mean you'll be miserable.  But it does when settling keeps you from doing the things you really want to do and being the person you really want to be.

Keeping this in mind, here is your mission, should you choose to accept it. The next time your friend or family member is about to make a stupid STUPID choice, draw them aside and talk to them. Point out the reality of their situation.  Have all interested parties sit in an intervention session. Dump a bucket of water over their head.  Whatever it is you need to do, stop them from making a choice they will regret later. I know it's not very democratic of me, but sometimes, that isn't the way.  Sometimes you need someone to strong arm you so you are finally able to see the truth.  And everyone does need that at some point in their lives.

Your friend will thank you.  I've been thanked for that very thing.  But I've also been the one thanking. The end result was for the best.

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