It's weird to grow up. Mostly because I see these people I spent my formative years with and they're doing all kinds of amazing things. I'm filled with wonder at my acquaintances/friends/schoolmates/relatives and their abilities. You can never know where you'll end up, what you'll do, or who you will become. There are clues and hints along the way, but only so many people hit that sweet spot. It appears that a number of people I knew were lucky and smart enough to find it.
If someone had told an earlier version of me that Odain would be on the cover of Billboard, or Dan would be touring the world playing folk music, or that Eli would be rapping in French, or that Elizabeth would be singing opera all over the world I would have probably laughed. It's too unbelievable, and frankly, it's just too fricking AWESOME. That doesn't happen to people you know - those are the pipe dreams of children that are impossible to realize. They are the dreams that get sideswiped and instead people become middle managers or cube monkeys. Yet all these things are true. Dreams can come true, and have.
Those are just four people from different times and places in my life that have done great things, and there are so many more. I find myself being motivated and inspired by these awesome people who I grew up with because they too are pursuing their creative passions with success. If I can do the same thing with writing, I feel like I will have made it.
So now, after having landed a job that will actually support Christian and I, I feel free to really let go and write. That was the main thing that was holding me back the last few months. It's amazing what stress about your basic needs will do to your creative process. Now I see the steps laying themselves out in front of me and I find myself feeling safe in my choices in a way that I couldn't previously. It's an intense relief. My shoulders can now peel themselves off my ears. Thank GOD. My words are tumbling out more quickly than I can type them, thousands of them winding their way to Phoenix Rising. Once it's done, the editing process begins. When that's done, the selling myself to publishers and agents begins. From there I feel like it will be a quick jump to movies and the next book. The sky is truly the limit. The path is clear. I can walk now.