Represent! The Search for An Agent or Self-Publishing

Well, my book is done.  I say this, and what I mean is it is as done as I can make it without going insane at this point in time.  I thought it would be a clear cut thing to just publish the book electronically, and now, I'm having second thoughts.

The reason is this.  While I am generally anti-corporate whatever, there was probably a deeper reason why I was shying away from a big publishing house.  It was remarkably simple - fear.  I have a huge fear of failure being the perfectionist I am.  I find failure a humiliating thing.  Now, it sounds like that would be a horrible combination - someone who is afraid of failure who wants to write.  J.K. Rowling got a bunch of rejections before she was successful with Harry Potter, and we all know now those guys are kicking themselves.  Everyone gets rejection sometimes.  Writing is full of rejection.  Honestly, I've never been rejected.  How come? Well, because I've never really submitted. 

Remember that poetry contest I entered a while back? The mag went under and I was refunded my entry fee.  I don't think submitting poems to the Juniata College lit mag, Kvasir really counts (although I had numerous poems published in it).

Honestly a big part of me felt more comfortable, safer, in publishing my work myself as opposed to trying for something greater.  And then I put the summary up.  Then my dad read it and said he really enjoyed the book - even as a young adult urban fantasy chick book that it is.  So if my dad liked it, and all these people were interested in reading it, then the question was, why wouldn't I just send out some queries?

If I send out queries for an agent,is it okay for me to publish my book electronically myself? That is something that has nagged at the back of my mind for the last few days. And when I answer it realistically, I have to admit I think its better to wait and see if anyone bites.

Damn.

So I researched query letters and I wrote one, the first one.  With my lame writer's bio (a whopping zilch for published work other than my beloved blog) I feel a little vulnerable.  So many people are writing so many books, will someone be able to get past the fact that I'm so new to writing to see the worth in my book? Do my first few chapters have enough juice to elicit the interest of the toughest audience of readers I'll face outside of publishers? That is something I have to answer as I reread the first few chapters.  I have a good feeling, but I'm wound like a top.  Still, everyone has to jump some time.  Now seems as good a time as any.