Saturday, September 11, 2010

My Life is a Movie

When I was in high school I thought of myself as virtually invisible.  I didn't understand the social dynamics in which I inhabited.  It wasn't until senior year when the yearbook had a bunch of candids of me with friends and photos of me in various extracurricular activities that I realized I wasn't invisible.  I just didn't hang out with the people who were getting trashed constantly and making a mess of themselves at parties with drugs and alcohol.  Instead I hung out with a small group of people, the majority of whom ended up going to Ivy Leagues and the like. 

After that, my life was less clearly defined.  Everything moved much faster.  Art school flew by with a series of events that became legend, though sometimes my name wasn't listed, or the whole story wasn't told.  Mostly it was surrounding the antics of my then crazy boyfriend (sorry dude). I left art school needing a break from it as well as him.

That summer I went to Costa Rica for a mission trip, and that had its own set of wild circumstances and drama that only I could end up drawing out.  From there I ended up moving to paradise, Santa Barbara CA.  I am sure I tormented quite a few boys during my year off from school.  I decided I would go back to college at my parents' alma mater and became bi-coastal.  Half of my junior year ended up taking place in Central Europe where everything was weird and every day seemed to bring another crazy story, from Chinese business men looking for English tutors hitting on me to being in a double decker bus with a bunch of crazed Serbians with an understandable grudge against Americans.  From graduation it was a year volunteering in AmeriCorps which was another adventure.  Graduate school followed with 6 months in India that was a series of adventures all of which were epic and next to impossible to manufacture.  Immediately after graduation I got married, moved to Phoenix and got the material I needed for Phoenix Rising. Now I'm in the Bay Area and it's a new series of adventures that have plot points which only occur when involving people who are risk-takers, dreamers, and people who don't let life happen to them but go and make it happen for them.  That's my life. 

Some people go home and the most exciting thing that happens to them is their car breaks, so they take it to the mechanic.  Their nail breaks so they go to the salon.  Maybe they turn on the TV and watch the latest waste of time reality TV show that follows someone's Hollywood manufactured life.  They buy a dog, so they have to get new carpet cleaner.  My life has never been that boring.  Sometimes I wish it was. Mostly I don't, because then, well, I'd be bored.  Plus I'd never have enough inspiration to write.  I realized this last night as Christian and I walked to the Redbox to bring back a movie. Our car is still broken so we had to walk. Luckily the grocery store hosting the Redbox is about a mile away - easy walking distance.  We're both feeling guilty like our current situation is our fault.  So our conversation while walking consisted mostly of apologies.  Then I realized that if we hadn't made the choices we had, we wouldn't have any of these crazy stories.  We wouldn't have the adventures.  I wouldn't have the inspiration for my writing.  Perhaps life would be easier, but it wouldn't be nearly as exciting or as much fun.  How else should you live your life but really live it?  Why wouldn't you take the risks to make something of yourself? Doesn't everyone want to have a legacy in this world? I know I do.  I don't think I could live with myself if I didn't. 

Of course, it means that sometimes life sucks.  Sucks major wang.  There's nothing you can do to avoid it.  interesting stories always have that part.  Interesting movies always have that moment where the heroine is at her bottom and you wonder, what is she going to do to get out of this? My movie is a comedy, so something always saves the day.  But then again, I got all the family luck.

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