I hate all the little things. It's not big things that stress you out. It's little things. It's a combination of improper filing, new ownership of your apartment complex, a lack of boxes, pollen in the air causing you to space out, along with a lack of money.
Thank GOD I haven't had someone close to me die recently (knock on wood), gotten pregnant, or had a major illness. If I had, I would have gotten the prize for collecting all the stress badges in a single year.
Moving is stressful. Not knowing exactly where we're going is stressful. Not being able to complete any of my writing projects for months is stressful. I could go on, but the list just keeps getting longer. Now more than ever, I want to be settled. I want everything to be taken care of for me. I'm so exhausted by the process that I want to curl up into my shell and stop dealing with everything. Even though I was lucky enough to get the numbers for our settlement with the property management company today (changing ownership had caused a bunch of issues), I don't feel better. In fact, I feel worse. Maybe it's because its more real now. Maybe its because my head is all loopy because my body is reacting to the pollen in the air. I'm not sure. All I know, is despite the sunny disposition outside, I'm worn down. Even though I worked out this morning (which normally gives me tons of energy) I'm exhausted.
Think I'll go hide in a hole for a little while until the feeling passes. Then it's back to somehow making things work for the best. With any luck, the job in North Bay will work out for Christian after the summer's end. I'm hoping it does, because I'd like to explore the Bay Area more and review some more interesting places and events. Cross your fingers, pray, meditate - whatever you do - just send us positive vibes that everything works out the best way it possibly can. Hey, if it does, maybe I'll win that poetry contest I entered. That would be quite the cherry on top of the mess!