Sunday, April 21, 2013

You Know You're a Mom When...

I don't know when it happened, but suddenly I realized I was doing mom things.

You know what I mean: coupons, repurposing, thinking about utility over beauty (whhhaaaaa?!?!).

So then I started thinking about all these new things I was doing and decided to make a little list for you. These are in no particular order - not a count down - just things to let you know you have crossed forever into the frighteningly strange realm of parenthood.

So here we go. You know you're a mom when

1. You clip coupons. Seriously. For everything. No item is safe from clipped coupon savings!
2. You live for discount shopping - this may have been something you practiced before, but you have taken it to new heights (4 onsies for 9 bucks?! Alright!!).
3. Safety comes first! Every nook and cranny comes under scrutiny. Every person's behavior is evaluated. Nothing is assumed to be alright. I feel like I might be practicing to enter the secret service!
4. Clean and tidy rules the day. Again, this is something you may have practiced before, but now it is more important to maintain a tight ship (see safety). Food can't enter the danger zone and be eaten. There is no 5 second rule. That toilet is disinfected like clockwork!
5. Long term planning for the win! Yeah, yeah. I know. You did this before. But now you have another person to think about. You have to structure trips around town to account for snacks, naps, and potty breaks. Meal plans are your (and your budget's) savior! Living in the right neighborhood with the right school in 5 years IS your 5 year plan.
6. You fantasize about making *stuff* with kiddo. It doesn't matter this won't happen until they're at least 2. It's there in the back of your mind.
7. Your favorite blogs are all written by moms for moms, giving you sneak peaks of things to come and tips on how to deal with the horrifying present (whatever that might involve).
8. All the new friends you're making have long term committed partners and have kids or are pregnant. The riff between you and single people seems too big to cross (because let's face it - you really just want to talk about your kids or your pregnancy with someone who understands, and who can set up play dates).
9. Multi-tasking is where you live - like permanently.  Time management is crucial to you. You plan your day as much as possible and when something goes awry (which it always does) you regroup and figure out a way to get shit done anyway all while *someone* is taking a nap.
10. You feel weird on a day when you get nothing done (i.e. cleaning, working, organizing, errands etc) because well, maybe you missed something. But what was it...

This is my new existence. It is odd to realize my new chapter in life has already shifted my thinking and every aspect of being. Of course, once kiddo arrives, it will go turbo-charged (I know this is true by the way s/he is already - why is that kid stretching out against my womb?! Yoga later please!).

Still, I can't wait.

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