Recently my life has been a bit crazy. We have 2 weddings coming up, a few trips (my husband's going a bachelor weekend and I'm taking the baby back East), and at least one baby shower. I published 2 books in one week. I've been working out like crazy AND the baby's teething (like the whole mouth...it's crazypants!). Plus it was crazy hot...
Oh, and I'm trying to finish FRIEND OR FOE (working title for Khloe Book #4). I'm 70k into it....so I'll probably need at least 30k more - possibly as much as 60k depending on how loose ends tie up.
I'm working so hard to keep things moving and going. It's a struggle to get anything out, let alone make sure my formatting doesn't suck the big one... and then I see another email congratulating someone else for being a bestseller or whatever.
I want to break something.
I'm working so hard and often it feels like I'm getting little or nothing in return. I know this is a long game and slow and steady wins the race, but things could go a little faster. I look at my Smashwords profile page and see the collection of books I've written and know I'm on the right track...but couldn't that track have a little more tangible success?
Then again, what is success?
For an indie author among thousands upon thousands (millions?) it's hard to say. What is enough? What makes it a hobby? What is reckless abandon or ambition? How many readers are enough? When do you stop writing?
For me, I'm still pretty far from my end goal (my end goal being a ridiculous amount of readers). My annual writing goal is half way complete (3 books published and a fourth half way done). Every subsequent year I want to publish another 7 books. Even if I have another kid. Even if I have TWO. I will keep writing. I will keep publishing.
So while I find it discouraging when a week goes by without much writing (like this past one) or I read an email celebrating the same 5 successful "indie" authors who have a leg up from their past lives of traditional publication, I won't give up. I'll never quit. It's like working out - consistency wins. I see my arms and legs transforming. Slowly everything else transforms before me. There's no other thing to do. If you put so much effort into something, it's impossible to fail.
I believe that.