Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Be the Grasshopper

There are just so many things going through my mind I'm having difficulty focusing.  So instead of going over everything or even just the things I have links for, I'll relate the thing that happened spontaneously which seems like such a key reminder of how I need to be in the world.

Let me explain.  Tonight as we drove back home from the San Leandro Marina where we had our after dinner walk, a grasshopper settled on our windshield.  The thing was smack dab in the middle of Christian's field of view.  It was laying its small translucent eggs on our windshield.  It stayed in one spot the entire time we drove down the free way to our apartment.  When we finally parked in front of the G Spot (building G is where our apart is located) the grasshopper was still there, slowly pushing another egg out.  It seemed the windshield was no longer ideal however, as it decided to jump to the right-hand rear window to continue its task.  I thought, life is so persistent, so determined to continue no matter what.  It always finds a way, even if its unlikely. 

Lately, as evidenced by many of my blog entries, Christian and I have been having a hard time.  It's been pervasive - seeming to impact all aspects of our life together.  Christian is having an ongoing cold-war with one of his coworkers (whereas the rest of them he likes).  The learning curve for the shop has been conquered for the most part, but on the occasion it seems a difficult project that Christian has never dealt with will show up and take the majority of his day.  I, on the other hand, haven't yet been able to find a job though I keep sending out resumes on a daily basis.  I haven't been able to get feedback from anyone on my book, even though I have sent chapters to multiple trusted sources.  Even though I have interest for commissioned paintings, few people actually have the money to pay me for the work.  I sit in my house and do domestic things while watching cable, when I take little pleasure in TV and domestic tasks make me want to poke out my eyes.  Our bank account is nearly empty at after our bills. If anything goes wrong, we can't take care of our basic needs at the moment.  There is no safety net.

Even still, things happen to keep us going.  I finally got some responses to my job inquiries and it looks like I may have some interviews coming up based on the responses I received.  My student is finally going to let me teach a lesson.  Christian got pulled aside at his job by his manager.  If he finishes the other manufacturer trainings, he will get a dollar raise.  The majority of them are online videos which he can do at home.  Some of the trainings however have to be done in a classroom, which means he would need to do them when and where they are offered.  Even still the shop will pay him his regular rate, the class, and transportation to the class.  So basically if he spends some time every day on videos, he should get all of them done within the year.  Apparently no one else in the shop is willing or interested in doing that.  That level of raise was what he wanted to have in a year of working at the shop, and this is an avenue for him to accomplish that. 

Life is persistent and determined.  Even though things seem insurmountable, or just plain shitty, doors open and new opportunities arrive.  It just takes patience.  I wish I had more of that one... if I'm lucky, maybe I can learn it from a grasshopper.

1 comment:

  1. sorry stuff is hard, such is life really. get rid of cable, get rid of all the FAT. you can do it. no more extras, no eating dinner out.
    you all can do it!

    take any job, and just do it! lol!
    it is enough to have the bills paid, even with nothing left in the bank. you have your responsibilities covered!

    you are able and can get thru the survival mode.

    hang in there sister! and tell my bro that too. he is an amazing guy!