Thursday, October 14, 2010

Buyer's Remorse and Prevention

When we spend a lot of money on an idea, it can bite us in the ass.  That, my friends, is buyer's remorse.  It is the too little too late gut feeling that we have made a huge mistake and only realized it after the fact.  Luckily for us, you don't have to have buyer's remorse for all big ticket items, no matter what it is you might be spending.

Sometimes, before a large choice comes up, we have a moment (or in my case several days) to stew over the choice.  Luckily for me I got the information I needed when I needed it before making a mistake.  You see, when so many people tell you something is the right thing for you to do, it is hard to say it isn't.  It could have been at another time and place, and maybe it will be in the future, but as of now, it is not.  The strength it takes to admit that something is wrong for you, despite scads of people telling you it is right, is tremendous.  It requires asking yourself during that moment of truth, "why am I doing this?"

When I was younger and in art school (as many strange stories of mine start) I was seeing a guy who was a total jerk.  I was attracted to his eccentricities, pale skin, and dark curling hair.  He was musically inclined, and spoke his mind.  These things were all interesting to me, but the problem was he treated me like crap.  I like to give people the benefit of the doubt, and so I wanted him to be different around me.  I wanted to give him a chance to be different.    Then one day he did something that annoyed me and I told him to stop and asked him why he behaved that way.  Rather than answering me, he asked me why I was there.  I sat back and thought about it.  All I could say was, "I don't know." I left soon after and stopped seeing him immediately.  It was an excellent choice and I never regretted it for a minute.

Rather than waiting for the jerk in the room to ask you why you're doing something, take it upon yourself and do yourself that favor.  It saves you time, energy, and resources.  It prevents buyer's remorse.  Instead you get a very different feeling.  It is liberating and uplifting like a giant weight has come off your shoulders.  You smile and giggle and talk too much way too fast. That is a combination of relief and satisfaction.  You have made the right decision and you know it was right.  It was right for you because in your heart of hearts you feel it. 

Maybe three years ago that choice could have been right.  It's true that the person you were three years ago may have disappeared.  You may have become someone completely different and your life goals have changed.  Everyone else may not see you that way.  They got caught up in their own pathways.  It doesn't matter.  All that matters once you've chosen something is to stick to your guns.  Life doesn't have patience for indecisive wimps.  It goes on despite your inaction and will force a choice on you if you're not careful.  For my part, I'd rather call the shots than let life wash over me and find out years later I've regretted my inaction.  Life and success are there for the taking if you're strong enough to choose things that nurture and nourish your spirit and inspire you to grow.  This is not for the weak or the timid.  Shake off your fears, let go your doubts and accept that you never have to have buyer's remorse again.  Everyone is in control.  It's your choice.

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