Sunday, April 29, 2012

Loki Says "Hi!" - Zen Lessons in Attachment

I'm not Job. I'm not. I haven't lost everything. I'm not lying in a ditch somewhere. I'm not disfigured or dismembered. But... it feels like I keep getting kicked while I'm down. Sometimes it feels as though I haven't gotten up at all. Last night was one of those times.

This is the third time in 4 years that my car has been broken into. It was the only time my car wasn't at my residence. Still, this was the worst and the best.

You see, the other 2 times, the thieves were experts. Minimal damages and they took specific things in good condition - relatively speaking. This time I was robbed by morons.

These people went through my entire car leaving tissues and paper napkins everywhere. They broke the radio bezel off. They broke the stereo they took (I know this because they left behind a crucial piece of the radio). They took the manual for the stereo but not the remote. The radio requires a code, but the wrong code is written in the manual.

Yeah. Morons.

This comes right after moving quickly and all the associated expenses (need I mention we're eating too much pasta?). And of course there are our student loans and all our other monthly bills on top of it.

I'm not Job, but still...

Many say the universe doesn't give you anything you can't handle. I know from experience however, we are cocreators of reality. I make choices. External factors change the situation, I make new choices. So the universe might not give me something I can't handle, but I might.

This sabotage feels like a Trickster - like Loki or Anansi. Perhaps it's the handicap required for someone who might move too far too fast. Perhaps it's a honing process - forcing me to become the perfect tool or weapon. I'd like to think this.

It's particularly poignant now because I'm exploring zen. You see, this time I wasn't as angry. Yes there was the initial reaction, but I slept it off and woke up relatively calm. I know I'm not attached to objects. Objects come and go. They do not matter. I will miss music for a while, but I can listen to the sounds of the city instead. It is a small snag in the vast fabric of life. I will be fine.

This new perspective is something I have begun developing in an effort to master my fate and captain my soul. Loki may be out there trying to rub my face in it, but it doesn't matter. This too shall pass away.

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