Unemployment is Depressing

Lately my dreams have been unnsettling. I wake up feeling horrible. Last night for example, I was mocked and humiliated. I wanted to be correct and so when I called someone on their wrongs, it backfired. It backfired so badly an entire group of people went to work delegitimizing me.
Considering that I've recently felt like everything is falling apart, it makes sense.
But I should clarify. We're fine. We're not under water at the moment. But things could be better, especially if I was making money on any kind of consistent basis. Because I'm not, I feel like a loaf. Even though I do as much as I can, I still feel like I'm failing. I feel like six years of education should be put to use. I feel like I should no longer be in debt. Ironically, the first position I really wanted that used those skills I indebted myself for, I didn't get. I didn't even get a first interview.
Then there's the fact I'm all alone since moving to the Bay. Because I'm at home, I don't get out unless I push myself. I know a few people who are very busy and therefore can't hang out. Christian is gone around 8:30 am, and doesn't usually get home until 7:30 pm. By the time he's able to interact it's 8. Dinner goes until 8:30 which is largely silent, followed by mindless television watching until he falls asleep.
You see my problem. My relationship was highjacked by employment. I'm alone and poor. And now my respite from real life is being impacted. This is not good.
I've been thinking about various ways to get out of my hole. The list of things tried and things thought is long. Most of the things tried were other people's suggestions, though some were strange notions of my own. I am almost desperate. This is as much because my marriage and my sanity are on the line, as the bottom line.
I have researched many things. I've read articles, books, and talked to people. I'm about ready to try the one thing that has worked before, assuming I can get myself out of my slump long enough for it to work.
The problem is, when you've been down for over a month, it's hard to get going. It's hard to see the potential light. I don't have a huge group of people physically in my face telling me it's going to work and that I will do it.
I know I can. Can isn't the problem. I need it to actualize.
I need affirmation and validation. Maybe that makes me a five year old, I don't know. I honestly don't care, as long as my debt disappears and I can buy cappuccinos.

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