Why I Love Khloe Alwell, and You Should Too

During my launch of THRIVE, I started the process of revamping - or rather rewriting - my Khloe Alwell series.

I fell in love all over again.

I had forgotten how rich and complex the books are. I forgot the nitty gritty of all the characters. I forgot how damn sexy the boys are. Like...really. I forgot how much I totally love Laran.

In talking with a friend about my love of Laran, she grinned.
"Have you ever heard Anne Rice talk about Lestat?" she asked, twisting her lips.
"No," I said, raising my brows.
"You talk about Laran the way she talks about Lestat. Like, you really love him." Her eyes sparkled and I grinned sheepishly.
"Laran is my dream man. If they ever did a TV or movie adaptation of these books, I might have problems. My marriage might be in trouble. I mean, I think I might fall in love with Laran. I might forget the poor guy was just an actor."

And it's true. But the other guys are nothing to sniff at. I mean, I love them all for different reasons. All my characters are family to me. But Laran is... something else.

And because I love him, love all of them, I had to publish a second edition. I didn't do the best job I could have when I first published these books, so I went back. Hopefully I'm doing my characters justice. I want readers to fall in love with Khloe. To hate her attackers, get angry with her, to bite their lips as she yearns, and to cringe as she tries to reject with grace. I want them to ache when Laran enters a scene. To grumble with Constantine. To saunter with Freyr. I want them to glow with Dani.

I want readers to get bloody and bothered and caught up.

This is why I am so pleased that second editions of THE BROTHERS and LOVERS AND RIVALS are now for sale on Smashwords (and soon after on all major online retailers).

If you haven't explored Khloe yet, I invite you dive in, see humanity as you've never seen it. Explore climate change in a way that you never imagined. See myth, faith, love, sex, and high school in a wild story of self-discovery and empowerment that shows what girls are made of - the stuff of legend.

Come Out, Come Out, Whoever You Are!

Some paths are scary...

Lately there have been several recurring themes in my life and therefore, my writing: coincidence, fate, purpose, choice, self-acceptance, and "coming out."

But worth it.

First of all, I don't believe in coincidence. I'm a person of faith and I've had too many strange things happen in my life to believe in "coincidence." I believe that everything happens for a reason, so you could say I believe in a kind of fate and that things - and people - have related purposes.

That said, I also believe you can choose to ignore or follow your purpose. In order to actively make that choice, many times a person must engage in self-exploration. This often leads to the discovery of both pleasant and unpleasant elements of the self (history, talents, preferences, personality traits, etc). This also leads to the possibility of self-acceptance (or not).

The process of discovery and acceptance in turn leads to the possibility of "coming out."

When encountering the phrase "coming out" most people think of an LGBT person openly declaring their gender/orientation, however "coming out" is not exclusively an LGBT act. Any part of the self that has been hidden, dormant, or laying in a deep recess can be brought to the light of day and shared with others. The process, and often the implications, are the same.

It is the implications of "coming out" - of a change in identity - that piques my interest. It also keeps me up at night.

Coming out is hard. It isn't like going from the identity of coupled woman to mother. That identity is clear and easy to see. It is one most people encounter on a regular basis, and for most people, there are no loose ends or questions raised by such an identity change.

The nature of coming out means the hidden identity or issue being brought into the open is uncomfortable, otherwise it wouldn't have been hidden. There is something shameful or uncomfortable, or difficult about this identity or issue, usually for both the self and others. It calls some fundamental thing into question - roles, relationships, actions, all shift to a new and strange place with this new identification.

Sometimes such identifications become the person. Literally, these difficult identities are so hard to get past for most other people, the self becomes two-dimensional. Suddenly the self is only lesbian, is only an addict, is only poor, is only an abuser, is only a victim, is only a criminal according to the other. Pigeon-holing abounds when the new issue comes to light. In order to overcome this shallowing process, the self must work extra hard to show up this new identity: I am green, progressive, Christian, athletic, multi-racial, multi-lingual, educated etc. These other identities are forced into competition with the "shameful" and marginalized new identity.

Some people choose to embrace their marginalized identity and center their lives around these things, for example a once battered woman turned activist who works with battered women. Another example would be a recovering alcoholic choosing to support others in their quest for sobriety. The centering of this identity surpasses a volunteer level, but moves to paid work as well as possible volunteering. Literally, life in these situations is entirely focused on this "shameful" identity.

The other possibility is to downplay such identities and to focus on something else. I think of the case of Maya Angelou who could have focused much of her writing and energy on the fact that she was molested and raped as a child. She could have written much of her work about - and championed victims of - sexual abuse and assault, however she did not. She chose a wider platform that included socio-economic, race, gender, and orientation identities rather than a single pigeon-holed identity of "victim."

Of course no one is a single thing. Each person has multiple facets, each informing the other. Experiences, preferences, and inherent abilities all contribute to the people we are. Often, however, one aspect or set of aspects stands out. One or a set of identities speaks to us more. We identify with a given set more strongly, and there are reasons for this (our experiences and preferences, for example).

This is where a given person's purpose lies - surrounding those identities of utmost importance.

However there is tension in balancing a person's purpose with the potential of pigeon-holing. There is tension surrounding that question of pigeon-holing and acceptance by others. Will I be stereotyped if I come out? Will I always be only this one thing? Will my identity overshadow my purpose? Will it interfere with achieving my life purpose? - asks the self.

Inevitably, the answer is: I don't know. We cannot know. The other is the one who answers these questions by their actions - their acceptance and rejection. It is only when the self is made vulnerable by coming out that the answer can be given and received. Until then, there is only anxious speculation.

We all have secrets. We all have hidden parts of ourselves. With every hidden piece, there is a debate regarding with whom we render ourselves vulnerable. For those who live more public lives - bloggers, writers, pastors, politicians, celebrities - the debate is more intense. The revelation of a secret self has more lasting and difficult implications. Will my brand be impacted? Will my image be impacted positively or negatively (because it will be impacted one way or another)? Is it worth it? Is it more important to be honest and authentic than to worry about the potential fallout? How strongly do I identify with this part of myself? If I decide to come out, how should I do it? Will it be quiet? Will it be for maximum impact? If so, what would create maximum impact?

These are the questions we ask ourselves. These are the questions that keep us up at night because there are no easy answers. There are no right answers. There are only answers that align with a person's purpose and those that do not. So it comes down to choice: what is your purpose? Who is your secret self? Will sharing your secret self with others further your purpose in this world? If the answer is yes, then it's time. It's time to come out.

Middle School & Young Adult Books Are Weird

The other day I got my whooping cough vaccine and it pretty much knocked me out of commission. The result was I ended up reading the entire Percy Jackson series in two days instead of writing, editing, or anything else. Well, okay. I did nap...alot.

Sigh.

Even though I wasn't working on writing in the literal sense, I don't feel that reading through a middle school age series was a waste of time. I haven't read anything that was meant for middle schoolers for some time. It reminded me of my own reading habits as a child and the kinds of topics that my reading covered.

Percy Jackson may be violent - well, excessively so - but it doesn't deal with sex at all (though it hints at it, I mean, how could it not? It's premise uses Greek mythology!).

And one might hope that middle school students wouldn't be reading things about sex, but I don't really think they should be reading such gruesomely violent content either.

And then I think of my own reading habits at that age... I was reading things that were not meant for middle school students. I was reading things meant for adults. Middle school books were things I devoured when I was 9. They began to bore me by 11. And by 12 I was reading fantasy and science fiction that was distinctly adult - dealing with adult themes, like sex, war, gender roles, and ethical dilemmas that can only be addressed adequately through the fantastic plots of Asimov or Le Guin.

All this makes me wonder about my own potential readers, particularly of Khloe - though the Rollins books aren't immune from this line of thought.

I know that certain books are meant for certain ages, but the idea seems specious. Who am I to decide a certain book is inappropriate for a particular age group? And yet I know parents these days would disagree. They would say, along with so many others, that children should be protected from adult content. Children should stay children.

That said, I would argue that visual media - like video games, movies, and television - is much more problematic than literature. Words require imagination to come to life, but images created by studios can be permanently lodged into young minds. But can the same be said for literature? It depends. I can think of certain images that stick in my mind from books read during my preteen and teen years, but there are just as many that don't.

And these are from "adult" books.

Hmm.

The reality is that a good book is a good book and a bad one is well, bad. Some people will read ahead of their assigned age range. I might as a parent decide that some books are appropriate and others aren't, but it won't necessarily have anything to do with labels decided by publishers or authors. No doubt the most important thing will be to have conversations about the themes of a book, no matter what the designated age range.