|I can see it, but it's still so much further....|
Last week was slow. Then with Mothers' Day family obligations I ended up doing a lot less than I wanted. And my social media phone app went wonky. And my computer stopped charging consistently. And everything just felt...bleh.
Despite this, I continued to press on. I continued and I found myself talking with a fascinating person who was most unexpected. I don't know what will come of that connection, but I intend to see that through, wherever it leads.
And that is me. Try things. Screw up. Adjust. Try things. Screw up less. Adjust.Try things...ad infinitum.
To some that might seem like a waste of time. However, it is the only way that makes sense to me. I will make mistakes. I know this happens. However, I do not let this stop me from acting. I do not let this hinder my will. I do not let it keep me from reaching. I am so full of vision it is impossible to remain content with any situation. There is always more to do. There is always better. I can always be more.
Some people would just give up, but I refuse.
Is this folly? Madness? Maybe. Only time will tell. But I know that if I didn't try everything I would ache. I would know I didn't try one or two things and that would disappoint me. That would keep me up at night.
This is one of my superpowers - drive. My narrative of suffering chronicled in THRIVE has this theme - my refusal to stay down. My refusal to let anything hold me back. And some people may look at my experiences and wonder how I can see lessons. Some people might wonder how I can step in a pile of shit and ask, "Where is the pony?"
But that is the thing. That is the gift I was given: to see the good and bad anywhere I look. I understand what it is like to feel complete hopelessness. I understand what it is like to feel violated and betrayed by people close to me. I understand what it is like to look at death. I have been to those places. I have walked through them, and come out to the other side to share these stories.
Some people might say this optimism is an opiate, and they would be right.
An opiate is something that helps manage pain. Yes, it could become addictive BUT fundamentally it is meant to help you endure. And so I used my optimism to endure.
I do not feel this is a crutch. I do not feel like it is a problem. When everything breaks down around me, I need to call on that deep inner strength. My optimism helps me summon that power, call it forth, and continue despite everything.
And this week, when everything is precarious...I need it more than ever. I'm almost to the finishline. Now is not the time to shut down.
Now is the time to push harder.
I mentioned above that I had a slow week and I did. And with everything breaking, or not at top functionality, I struggled to keep my momentum. I did. I imagine this is what a marathon runner feels like in the last few miles of a race. On the one hand, I'm excited that I can almost see the finish line. On the other hand, I wish I could sit down on an overstuffed chair, and drink a glass of red.
This is what I got done last week:
- Met with connector and brainstormed opportunities for THRIVE among other things
- Got over 150 entries in my press kit/speaking opportunity database
- Wrote cover letters
- Sent a few press kits out to connections
- Fiddled with website (and changed my mind about a few things)
- Read a number of articles about marketing
- Got to 63% in LILITH
- Tweaked revamped covers
- Finalized format for THRIVE and TRANSFORM TO THRIVE (added connect, about author etc)
- Upload THRIVE & TRANSFORM TO THRIVE to Smashwords and set up pre-order
- Send out press kits to media
- Send out press kits to colleges, organizations etc
- Sign up for speaking bureau at RAINN (among others?)
- Finish cover tweaks for KHLOE series
- Finish LILITH
- Upload corrected books, descriptions, and new covers for KHLOE
- Follow up with connector/mentor
- Info blast on social media about pre-order
- Consider Createspace for print on demand version of THRIVE and TRANSFORM TO THRIVE.
- Think about business cards
- Create speaking page for website (and list topics etc)
- Pitch THRIVE related story ideas to sites and blogs?