Help! - Project Poll

I need your help. Seriously. I'm blocked. Not sure if it's  sleep deprivation, stress, sleep deprivation, illness, or sleep deprivation. Whatever the deal is, I'm at an impasse with writing. SO...I need your vote and here are the fiction project options:

1. FAMILY, FRIEND, or FOE - the last book in the Khloe series. I'm maybe half way done with this and I can't figure out where to go next. The ending is in my head, but how to get there is tough.
2. ANDREW - the third book in the Rollins Pack. Again, I'm about half way done (maybe more) and I know how it ends, but I'm struggling with the path between here and there.
3. CERIDWEN - a stand alone college/adult project with series potential. This is my mutant/alien/disease/sci-fi book and is maybe a quarter done. I have no idea how it ends or where to go next (lots of intrigue and scandal potential).
4. VICE & VIRTUE - working title, a stand alone adult project. I'm probably between a third and half way finished. This is my angels, demons, and general mayhem theological exploration book. I have no idea how it ends, and I'm not sure what needs to happen next in the story.
5. ???? - there are several "other" options including a story about a family where the son strays from his parents to pursue his dream (think night circus style); a sister who decides to leave the family business with catastrophic consequences (think myth); there's also a psychological book idea involving God and the nature of reality. Christian thinks I should write a sequel to BELOW THE BELT (it's a very popular download on Smashwords and it's FREE this week so get it now!)

 The other option is something non-fiction. I have two real projects there, both in relative infancy (one in lines of the unexpected, and the other having to do with a taboo topic and the process of exposing it).


What do you think? VOTE! PLEASE! I need to figure something out. I must make progress! And, please tell me why you want me to work on a given project. Also, suggestions for something completely different are also options, along with reasoning behind them.


Thanks in advance!

Everything I Learned About Japan, I Learned From Anime

Okay, that's not exactly true, but it certainly helped. The truth is that when my husband suggested I watch a few animes, I was skeptical. To be completely honest, I haven't had a very high opinion of genre in general. Many of the storylines that I've been exposed to (such as Akira or Ghost in the Shell) have been distinctly marketed to boys. Truthfully, I'm not interested in those kinds of stories, and frankly, they bore me.

So when my husband told me to watch InuYasha, I looked at him like he had five heads and eight arms.

After episode one, I thought I might watch more. And I did - all 167 episodes and then the subsequent Final Act series.

My nerd friends who are deeply steeped in nerd culture will roll their eyes and protest my "bad taste," recommending other animes in an effort to get me to appreciate things like Akira. Yeah, that ain't happening (outside of appreciating the art involved anyway - sorry guys).

The reason is that animes like InuYasha are marketed to women. They aren't just about blowing things up or some weird mech heads fighting each other to save some vampire-zombie sci-fi future. InuYasha has highly developed characters that have complex relationships with one another. If a person wanted to learn about romantic relationships in Japanese culture, InuYasha would be a good place to start. It clarified a piece of my own past.

That might sound bizarre, that I had some kind of existential revelation through a popular girly anime, but it's true. When I was in college, I had a big crush on this Japanese exchange student. We hung out together quite frequently. We even danced together at different parties and events. At some point, he actually asked me, point blank, "Alexis, would you like to be my girlfriend?"

I was psyched. After all, I had been crushing on him for some time. Of course, it didn't work out quite how I expected. Nothing happened. We didn't hold hands. He didn't kiss me. Nothing changed at all. Then, slowly, we stopped hanging out. It was very confusing and strange to me. With time, I forgot all about it - until I watched InuYasha.

The tension created between the characters was tremendous. The lack of release - of touch and even explicit confessions of love - was frustrating, and kept me watching the show. It was some time early in the series that I realized I had missed something with my undergrad Japanese boyfriend.

So I researched dating in Japanese culture. There are actually levels of closeness. It's a long drawn out process, each level having associated actions. The extreme self-control, and imposed denial of affectionate displays boggled my mind. It was a cultural difference I had completely missed, and frankly never expected. That period of time in college would have remained a mystery had I not been prodded into realization by a girl-centric popularly accessible anime.

I didn't just learn about Japanese dating culture from InuYasha. There were other relationship dynamics that were clarified by the show that I never would have known. These general trends seem to be supported by watching other animes (Yes, I know this is just one cultural expression and therefore limited, but we can't say there isn't some truth there.).

For the average Westerner, it seems watching a little anime is a good way to become introduced to those cultural differences of Japan. If living in California, it might even shed some light on the culture of the coast. In either case, it's worth at least one episode. But be warned - you might watch more.

My Spike

Well I finished the series.  Buffy that is.  I am so disappointed.  If you haven't seen it, don't read the rest of this - ****SPOILER ALERT****- because I'm going to talk about the end of season 7. I can't help it.  It so irritated me.

I have a confession.  Both Riley and Angel bored me.  They had no personality, well unless you count Angel's evil alter ego... woohoo! Yeah, neither guy was very interesting.  They were blank.  My absolute favorite character of the entire series, yes, you guessed it, the man in the long dark trench.  Sigh.  And of course, of COURSE he had to die at the end.  Seriously? I mean I understand.  I know.  It was bound to happen.  But really guys? Can't the awesome guy get the girl in the end? Oh wait, this wasn't that kind of story.  This was a female empowerment story where the girls rock on and save the day after having conquered every possible issue that a girl has to face during their adolescent life.  It has nothing to do with love or sex or anything remotely like lust. Oh nooooooo. Never.  Never. 

Look, I've got news.  I really liked Spike.  From the moment he was introduced as a bad-ass with his first crazy girl friend, I liked him.  He had balls, a swagger, cheeky Britishisms, an intense stare, and amazing abdominals with pecs to match.  What's not to love? Oh, well the peroxide hair.  Yes, that was a little... weird.  Having never read the comic but knowing how comics go, I'm assuming that carried over.  Sad.  But still, the character was the best.  THE best.  I'm still in a state of shock having watched his on-screen redemption.  Damn it!  I didn't even like Buffy.  She was such a whiner.  I hate whiners.  That's why I hate Bella from the Twilight series, whining. Always whining.

Of course, my second favorite character ALSO kicked it at the end of season 7.  Damn it!  And she was the one I identified with - Anya, the crazy no filter speak the truth like a blunt axe ex-she-demon.  Yes, she was my kind of girl.  Even if she did want to marry the campy and sarcastic male sidekick Mr. Harris.  Whatever.  She was cool.  She didn't whine, she just told it how it was and when necessary, got even.  It's the kind of thing a girl can respect, even if you don't necessarily agree with it.  Plus, who didn't love the fact that bunnies scared her more than anything else in the world? Bunnies?! Love it.  Absolutely love it.  Right after Spike. Sigh.

When I was younger, maybe I would have liked the other characters.  Maybe I would have dug Buffy.  No, who's kidding? Most of the time I wanted to slap her, just like I do most people who can't make up their minds.  There is something to sticking to your guns.  Oh wait, no, that's EVERYTHING.  After the time of discussion has passed, there is only your commitment to a thing.  Go all the way, or don't go.  There's no half way in life, not really.  The sooner a person understands that the easier it is.  You can't go back and forth wasting time, because if you do, in the end, you've made your decision.  It is over before it's begun.  All done.  Curtains and last call at the bar all at once.  A foregone conclusion.  You went for the status quo.  How lame is that?

So why would you still go for the person who is boring, who couldn't give you what you needed or anything remotely like it? If you're passing time, you may as well pass the time with someone who is awesome, who sees you for yourself.  There is no point in passing time with someone else when you can have someone who is awesome. Believe me, I know.

Some people ask me why I got married or how I like marriage. They wonder why I married Christian, and I think anyone who doesn't know him think we're doomed to divorce because of our superficial differences.  Of course, they don't know him.  They don't know that in many ways, he's my Spike.  He's my Jacob.  He's more gangsta (to put it like a political talking head on BET once said of Joe Biden in the time running up to the 2008 election) than any man I know.  And people wonder... and I had other offers.  I even had a guy who was my 30 yr b'day pinkie swear marriage partner if nothing else worked out (a horrible idea, but he's a nice guy...and you know, the biological clock ticks).

Still people ask why. The answer is always the same.  I married the man who is my best friend and the love of my life.  He's an unusual guy.  There's no question there at all.  And sometimes, I really don't get the guy. Other times he pisses me off so much I am very tempted to break things like glasses, or possibly his arm.  But when the chips fall, he is a rock.  He puts up with all of my crazies, indecision, and self-doubt.  He looks at me the way the main man looks at the leading lady in movies, and he means it from the bottom of his heart.  He gave me a ring.  We signed some papers and had a kick-ass party.  Baby, that's commitment.  That's sticking to your guns.  What else could I say? He is my Spike.  My Jacob.  And I sleep next to him every night.  Sweet!

Maybe that's why every time I see one of these shows and it ends with the man who makes me think of my husband NOT getting the girl I get so incredibly pissed off.  It's the bad boy who is really a good boy at his soft chewy center that is so appealing, yet he is relegated to some mythical creature who resides in some kind of perpetual torment where it is impossible for him to win.  Alright, they always write in some last minute thing to make sure the guy ends up having some sort of semi-sweet ending, but it leaves me feeling cheated. I mean really, "I feel my soul." "You never loved me, but thanks for saying it." WTF?!?! Seriously?!?!  How retarded can you get?!?! Such a cop out! GRRR ARGH! Sigh.

Just once guys, someone, let the awesome guy get the girl.  Not the guy without a personality.  The guy who is awesome.  Man, I think I have a calling....

Break or Continue? The Ever Present Struggle

Lately there's been about fifteen billion things going on in my head.  Not the least of these is the fact that I'm still effectively not contributing income, I still have a long way to go on the writing front, and I happen to be wallowing in the most minuscule of mundane tasks.

Since my writing conversation with my friend, I've been looking everywhere for ideas for short stories.  I've come up with about three or four that I could put together in a heart beat.  The problem is my computer, the lifeblood of my writing, the Excalibur to my Arthur, is also the vessel for my entertainment.  It is the way I currently foster my burgeoning addiction to Buffy the Vampire Slayer (thank you Joss Whedon and my dear friend Amberjae!  I owe you both such a great depth of gratitude for my non-stop Buffy marathon that has me pigging out on pumpkin pie and irritating my husband with its campy effects and silly phrases like 'wiggins' and 'smoochies'). So currently I am at war.  War, not against the Initiative or the Hellmouth.  No, I'm battling between my urgent need to write great things and do so much more with myself and the need to take a long break after writing nonstop for two weeks straight and gain some clarity about my next steps (as far as editing goes, a clear head and fresh perspective is very helpful). 

So for now, I continue to ruminate on my story ideas.  At this moment I have four solid ones.  Okay, maybe three solid and one that is partially formed.  But still. They're great.  And I will make them accessible to you.  Likely in a literary journal. Right after I finish season 4.

Sundays with Vlad - a review

She's done it again.  Lea gave me more than just Fables to investigate.  She also handed me three books to read which based on my back cover blurb (and conversations we've had about Phoenix Rising) she thought I might enjoy because they seemed like they take a similar bend.

It's true that Julie and Julia or A Year of Living Biblically are a very specific exploration of a given topic during a set amount of time.  It's true that Phoenix Rising is set during a specific amount of time, however, it is a novel.  Yes it draws on some very real experience as all good stories must, but it is fundamentally a novel.

The books Lea lent me are along the Julie and Julia type of book, with a few major exceptions.  They are totally quirky, dark, and seem to have no set quantum parameters.  Now, I should warn you that if you have a weak stomach and a vivid imagination when it comes to blood you should stop reading this post now.  I had to stop reading the first book at parts because my arms got weak and I thought I might faint.  (This is the curse of vivid imaginations when combined with a strong dislike of needles and generalized gore.) 

The first I picked up to read was Sundays with Vlad by Paul Bibeau.  It chronicles the quirky (and dorky) writer's search for the real Dracula and what he discovers along his path.  At first he debunks a few myths about Vlad the Impaler and plays these off the legends of literary Dracula, who have two totally different time-lines, geographies, and reputations.  It's an interesting journey, with cute pithy jibes at the media as well as various government agencies.  Then the book transitions into intellectual property rights and makes me want to impale the American judicial system and possibly stop reading.

Just when I thought it was going to be a horrible spiral worth shelving, Bibeau changes it up by exploring the realms of gaming and vampires in role-playing.  He explains the distinctions and histories of White Wolf v. D&D and relates an experience he has with vampire LARPing (live action role-playing).  However, this line of thinking brings him to the logical conclusion that some of these people must take this further, and so he discovers the hidden recesses of Goth and then Vamp culture.  This includes partying, costumes, dental grade fangs, and the types of feuding previously relegated to Sunni - Shiite caliphate battles.   While other portions of the book were weird, nothing compares to this last bit.  Suddenly you're reading about people with eating disorders claiming they need human blood to live. The lesser explored darkness of vampire obsessed youth lies with the many bodies lying in the morgue with blood engorged stomachs because they bled themselves to death. WHAT?!?!

Look, I have always thought there was a spectrum of stupid, but I didn't realize the spectrum included the level beyond using leeches as a form of modern medicine in 2010.  No, these are the Meyers fans that have taken it one step too far. I am prepared to stop reading at this point, but press on out of sheer morbid curiosity. 

Luckily, in the last few chapters Bibeau lightens it up a bit by taking a trip down scholarly lane and then again visiting merchandising, where vampires are a veritable minefield, with one last tribute to the book that started it all. Weird.  The whole thing is weird.  I find myself having difficulty with almost every aspect of his unveiling.  It's not the writing.  It's not the logic he uses  or the path of his book (although in some ways I wish he had ended the journey in the darkest part with some warning about what these kinds of things can lead to etc).  Mostly its just that everything around vampires is depressing.

The prince, on which this tale is predicated, had a horrible life.  The book Dracula isn't based on any facts of Vlad's life and is primarily conjecture drawn from a small brochure Stoker read once.  The intellectual property rights and the endless merchandising and playing on the story is enough to give a person permanent bile burn in the esophagus.  This whole role-playing culture is weird but okay except for the fact it seems like the gate way drug into these body modifications (which I find highly problematic) and provide rationalizations for the atrocious behaviors and acts of the most obsessed "vampires."  The only thing that isn't absolutely horrible was the section on literary/historical scholastic work that has developed recently based on everything Dracula.  Because even though it is weird, at least it studies all this crazy shit that has gone down.  Maybe a sociologist or anthropologist can really study this vamp culture and drill down the danger line to preempt police intervention.  That would be the next chapter I would love to read. It is an interesting enough thought, it's worth trying to find the sociologist doing just that.  If I find them, I'll let you know.

Stay tuned for two more quirky reviews shortly.  The other two are bound to be just as wild.