How to be an Indie Author: Final Thoughts

There is a lot to writing a book. There is a lot to publishing it, whether you go the traditional route or decide to go indie.

I hope that over the course of my indie author series you were able to gain some insights to the process and learned a little bit about what it takes, where mistakes can happen, and how to do better. Ultimately that is the goal.

It takes time to be successful in these things. It's been five years since I started down this path, and despite spending hours daily on writing, publishing, marketing, and researching, there is so much more I could know. There are so many more things I have to try, to work on, to evolve. The list is endless. And I question my decisions often, not necessarily out of doubt, but because I want to confirm they are still the right path for increasing success.

As you move forward in your writing career, remember these lessons that I learned the hard way:

1. Sometimes you just have to do it. Even if it's shitty. Even if it's messy. Sometimes you just need to do it to prove to yourself you can.
2. Yes, there are some really famous authors who are actually hacks. There are some no-names who are God's gift to literature. Ability has nothing to do with success.
3. Re-evaluate often. You'll thank yourself. It helps guarantee your improvement.
4. If you give up, you will not succeed.
5. If writing brings you joy, just effing do it. Who cares?
6. Everyone has an opinion and at some point, one of them will hurt. Bad.
7. Find your ideal fan and give them what they want.
8. Forgive yourself when you screw up. It's okay. You can always rework. You can always improve.
9. Any review is better than none (haters are good.).
10. Even if no one values your work, I do - because you're doing it. And that's awesome. It takes a lot of effort and resources and discipline to pull off a manuscript. Drink a beer (or tea - whatever!). You deserve it. And message me. Let's talk writing and publishing.

I'm serious. Message me. Tweet me. Facebook something. I love talking about writing and publishing. It's a lonely road and we authors need to stick together.

If you missed any of the posts in this series, bookmark this round-up of HOW TO BE AN INDIE AUTHOR:

1. Beginning 
2. Process
3. Editing
4. Formatting
5. Publishing Ebooks
6. Publishing Print
7. 44 Marketing Tactics

I wish you much love and success on your writing journey. And do keep me posted. I want to know how things work out for you. Seriously.

How to be an Indie Author 6: Publishing Print

This is the sixth post in a series about self-publishing from ideation through sales. To check out other posts in this series, click here.

Last time I covered a lot of ground when discussing digital publishing. This time I'm going to explain a few of the differences that you need to consider when publishing for print a.k.a. print-on-demand a.k.a. POD.

Nuts and Bolts

The biggest thing at issue here is formatting your manuscript. As I mentioned in the formatting post, that will make or break you. For POD, it takes me at least two days when using a template. Assuming you've done the hard work of formatting your manuscript (and I really recommend using a template, typically provided by the POD printer/distributor) there are a few other concerns that make the POD process distinct from digital publication:

1. Book type and
2. Distribution channels
   

Book Type

I'm using "book type" as a shorthand for page size and binding type. No doubt you own a few different sized books. Some genres tend towards larger sizes, where others tend to be smaller. Some make sense with a spiral binding, where others really need a traditional spine. Think about the genre of your book and typical sizes/binding types. Whatever is normal for your book's genre is what you want for your book.


The book size and binding type will dictate the manuscript template you need. They must match. If you got the wrong size or weren't thinking about things, you're going to need to reformat. Suck, I know, but necessary.

This will also dictate the kind of cover you need to have. Some POD printer/distributors (like the one I use, CreateSpace) have cover creation applications on their sites where you can plug in high res pictures and some text without too much hassle. If you want to have a custom cover, they often have templates you can use to make and upload your own. Typically I do a hybrid version where I have a full cover image and then the spine and back are "plug and play."

Distribution

After you've got your ISBN, your cover is made, your files are free from errors, you finally get to proof your book. Sometimes this means you have to purchase an author proof. Sometimes it means you get to view the book for free digitally. Whatever the case, you make your choice and the book gets proofed. Now you're ready to publish the book which means several things:

1. Selecting categories (should be the same as you had for your digital version)
2. Setting price (should be high enough that you make royalties but low enough that readers will buy it)
3. Selecting distribution channels (so the most readers can access your book)

Categories and pricing are important when considering distribution. You want people to be able to find your work. The more websites that sell it, the more libraries that carry it, the better. At the very least, it needs to be on Amazon because of the wide reach of the site. CreateSpace is an Amazon company, so when I publish my books, I get both a CreateSpace store (where I get maximum royalties) and my book gets added to the Amazon market quickly. I also have expanded distribution options where libraries and booksellers can purchase copies of my books.

Now, I should explain why I chose CreateSpace. I wanted something easy that didn't have any upfront costs. I liked that I had an ISBN that didn't require extra fees and I didn't have to order a hundred copies of my book when I didn't know how many people would be purchasing it. Anyone can go to my CreateSpace store and buy a copy of THRIVE: HOW I BECAME A SUPERHERO, for example, and the book gets printed immediately for them. That is the beauty of POD.

There are a lot of other POD printer/distributors and authors have a variety of reasons for choosing those companies. In fact, some small presses use them because the cost is so much less than ordering 1000 copies of a book. It honestly doesn't matter which ones you choose, as long as they connect with major channels and have the features that work best for your goals and situation. Ultimately that is joy of being an indie author - one size doesn't fit all.

Publish the way that works best for you, because that is what will give you the greatest fulfillment and the highest probability of success.
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Leave a comment below to share your thoughts on the POD process as well as any tips and tricks you've picked up on the way!

Also check out my next post in this series where I will begin discussing the marketing and sales process. 
 
Visit my website to donate, become a patron, or buy my books! I recently made some serious updates to the site and I'd love your thoughts. Be sure to check out my updated Amazon Author Page. You can get all the fiction there as well as THRIVE and TRANSFORM TO THRIVE, my tweets, and more! 

What am I worth?

I have changed my tactics to writing, blogging, and book selling, in large part because I am not where I want to be. Obviously, if you're not where you want to be, you need to do something differently. As part of that, I've been reading a lot. I've joined a thousand and one groups, forums, mailing lists - you name it. I've reached out to who knows how many different blogs, writers, publicity gurus etc.

About 75% of the time these people write back, in some way. Usually it is a helpful way.

In one particular instance, it was a situation where the person was making the age old case that you have to spend money to make money.

Now between the two of us, my husband and I have a little under $40k of student debt. My husband works in an industry that does not support its employees, in fact, they kind of shit all over them and then stomp on them, no matter how well trained they are. Of course, he makes too much money for us to qualify for government assistance. Our parents happen to live in one of the most expensive housing markets in the country, which means we have to live with them in order to have a place to stay and food to eat. My son has health care because of the ACA. Because of where we live, we have to commute to jobs, and because of a lack of childcare, it doesn't really make sense for me to work at this point.

This is the stress I carry on my shoulders every day.

I have tried a thousand and one tactics already to get my books into readers hands, and here is this person saying the only way I can be successful is by spending money. Money. Something I don't have right now - haven't had for a few years.

I wrote the guy and he actually wrote back, and said nothing I didn't already know. I was grateful he actually responded, but the response did something to me that was unexpected. He wasn't mean, in fact, he was very professional. But it was the fact that he told me things I already knew - things I felt like I couldn't do anything about.

I broke. I just broke. Here was this guy who was supposed to be a guru and he was telling me things I already knew. I felt so defeated.

Here I was, putting every last bit of soul and effort into this - and I still wasn't financially successful. I wasn't getting reviews. I wasn't getting people to buy my books. Granted, people love the books when they read them. Any time I talk to people about them they end up buying a copy. And loving it. Seriously. But I wasn't connecting to enough readers. People weren't coming across my books and buying them. I had a steady trickle of purchases, but nothing to write home about.

I felt like a failure. I was ready to jump off a bridge. The thought actually entered my mind. I cried the rest of the day.

Slowly reason seeped into my consciousness.

The voice (in this case my father's) said: You might not be able to buy another domain, but you could change the landing page to allow for multiple brands.
Me: Okay, I can do that. Next week on update day I can do that.
The voice: Stop 'asking' for reviews. Call in all your chips. Tell anyone and everyone who you know has read your books - I need reviews.
Me: Okay. I can do that. I'll do that.

I started doing that. I felt a little better.

The voice came back (in this case my husband's): You already knew the things this guy told you. Keep working at this. Keep tweaking things. Write a blog post about this. You have more.

I did. I felt even better.

The voice came back a third time (in this case the one in my head): There are more things I haven't done. Try them. See this through. I have a purpose. I am enough.

So here I am. I have a purpose to my writing. I want to educate empathy - specifically compassion. I want everyone to know what is possible in books, with characters, with life. I want to be a catalyst for social change. I want to leave a legacy for my son. This is my purpose.

When there is a purpose, things happen. I believe that. I have everything I need to realize my purpose. I believe I will encounter those driven to work with me. There are no accidents. No coincidences. There is will, and therefore way.

I am sharing all this because I know I'm not alone. My situation is one that has played out many times before over the centuries. I know every modern author isn't in quite as dire of straits as I am. A lot of writers have day jobs, or spouses who essentially sponsor them. I know a lot of people do not need their writing to work for them. And it is nice to have that. There is comfort in that.

I am not comfortable which is why I need you to understand exactly what is at stake for me - for people like me. I need you to know me. To understand my drive. To understand why I struggle every day to do and be more.

When you read my books, understand that through everything, I am baring myself. I am giving you a piece of me to carry with you. When you read my books, you are participating in my life through the lives of my characters. That is the gift I am giving you.

Now tell me, what is it worth?

How To Be An Indie Author 2: Process

This is the second post in a series about self-publishing from ideation through sales. To check out other posts in this series, click here.

Last post I talked about the way I come up with and vet my book ideas. This time, I'm going to talk specifically about turning those ideas into a first draft.

The Black Box

A writer turns coffee into manuscripts. Really.

For many, the process of turning an idea into a first draft is full of mystery. How can a person sit at a computer for hours and hours and write anything coherent?

Well, for me it functions differently depending on the kind of book I'm producing. For a novel, I often don't outline, at least not recognizably. I just sit down and start writing. I start with the main character, and the story develops as they interact with each new character. As the interactions build, outside forces begin to forge events, which cause characters to react (as happened in JAMES).

If the book is a sequel, I do have an end point in mind before I begin. I may have a list of questions I need to answer. Just writing them down is often enough to make sure they get addressed, but I do check the list as I write (such as what happened for FAMILY FRIEND OR FOE).

For nonfiction, I always decide the arc before I write. I write the introduction to give myself a framework, and then I write chapter titles or topics. This gives me the freedom to jump around as ideas strike me while holding true to the designated arc of the book. In nonfiction, I cannot sit still and write continuously as I do with fiction. Novels might hold my interest for 15 hours straight. Nonfiction will often require social media and current events breaks to keep me from burning out.

Discipline

Typically all this writing happens first thing after breakfast for several hours. Often I give myself a certain word count to complete daily, at the bare minimum. About half the time, I write more than my minimum goal.

This is how I know I've made some progress. I feel accomplished even if I had a rough day. Today, for example, I was going to rewrite another 15 pages in FAMILY FRIEND OR FOE, however my toddler had an epic meltdown and I couldn't seem to get focused (courtesy of sleep deprivation) so instead I decided to write this post. I still have the afternoon and I still have to get this series done as a project, so it isn't a loss. It just isn't quite the direction I expected when I woke up this morning.

And that is okay. I have my daily plan for a standard of measure. I have my long range plan to assist in my overall frame. I have self-imposed deadlines (now made easier with additional preorder options) for publication and I know approximately how long it will take me to complete any given book based on past experience. All these things are in place so I know how much more I need to do and how much progress I've made.

No matter what derails me in a given day, I still wake up and write. I try to hold to my daily goals as closely as possible (which means I still have about 10 pages left to rewrite today). This is how I get things done. It is what allows me to maintain my insane pace and complete the amount of work I do despite being a stay at home mom with a moody hyperactive toddler.

Successful Completion

All this is to say, completing a first draft requires two main things:

1. A working personalized process and
2. Commitment to the process through discipline.

Developing a personalized process does take a little trial and error, however reading stories like mine and using personal experience as a guide for what works and what doesn't will get you there faster.

For example, I am an intuitive person, so I knew my preference for revelation in fiction as opposed to outlining things in meticulous detail. If I outlined my novels, I wouldn't finish them. Period.

As for committing to using the process to see your first draft through, well seeing writing as a job helps. Breaking down your work into bite-sized chunks achievable in a day, a week, and a month makes a difference. It keeps you from getting overwhelmed. I can't tell you how many times I have looked at all the tasks involved in writing a book and become paralyzed. However, taking a breath and breaking it down into sections makes the whole thing a lot more manageable and tricks your brain into thinking it's a lot less than it really is.


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What process do you use to write? Have you tried any of the above? If so, leave a comment below. I'm always looking to improve my process.

Check out next week's publishing post about editing and of course, be sure to visit my website to support your neighborhood indie author!

THRIVE Launched, Now What?

I've got a lot further to go.

I've been struggling the last few weeks. In the wake of THRIVE's publication, total exhaustion set in. I want to get a whole bunch of things done. I want to work. I know there are things I should be doing. I know this.

I think part of me felt like I hit my milestone and that was that. The project was over and I could space out. And it was a lot of work. And some of it paid off, but mostly it was just the beginning of a larger lead up to more things....which mean the dividends haven't come in yet.

I've been reading a lot about this, especially through my author forums, which have proved invaluable (for which I thank Clara, as strategic a person in thought as I am in feeling). In these forums, muckety mucks slum around with us peons. And it is great for the peons, and gives perspective to the muckety mucks. We find out how much more we have to do, and they realize how much they've done.

I have to say, honestly, it can be disheartening. I am at a disadvantage with what I am able to do (limited primarily by resources). But there are also things that encourage me - such as the reminder that this process is never over. Books do not stop selling - and with the internet, they can always reach more readers. There is always someone else who has not heard of me (Okay, in my case, at this point there are probably around 7 billion, but even for the famous author, there are probably 2 or 3B.).

This is actually a good thing because it means I can always do more for a book - there is always more that could lead to sales. Also it is a bad thing, because, well, it is never done.

Right now, after the insane push I made with THRIVE, some part of me thought the momentum was already there. That I could sit back and enjoy THRIVE having a life of its own. But I'm not there yet. I've hardly begun. It feels like the week after mid-terms where the tests are done, but there's another half semester to go. The nights of studying are not over. The note-taking is hardly finished. And I have no energy. And I'm struggling to get FAMILY FRIEND OR FOE rewritten, which while turning into an excellent book, is going much slower than I'd like. I have until August 2nd to finish the manuscript and upload it to Smashwords (incidentally, you should preorder it to get the 20% off price before it goes live!).

And after that I need to work on ANDREW, and redo all the Rollins Pack covers, and revamp all those books, and finish proofing SIX DEGREES.

And while all this is going on, I need to continue working on speaking engagements about THRIVE, guest posts about everything, possibly blog hops, and remembering to eat and sleep... sometime.

When I do all that, not only will I feel damn accomplished, but I will have transformed my life. And that is incredibly exciting, but it is also a lot of work. And I need to keep reminding myself that it is worth it. I need to keep developing better systems for getting everything done that needs doing, that assures forward progress.

Here's to efficiency, effectiveness, encouragement, and energy! And crossing my fingers I get all four in hand...and soon!

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Transform your life and heal through my memoir and small steps for 32 days!

Get digital copies of THRIVE: HOW I BECAME A SUPERHERO and TRANSFORM TO THRIVE: 32 DAYS FROM VICTIM TO SUPERHERO!

You can also get paperback copies of both the memoir and journal.

It's THRIVE LAUNCH DAY! A.K.A. Labor of Love

*Blinks*

I can't believe I made it. Here.

And yet, I feel like this is such a false, utterly arbitrary marker. It kind of feels like I planted a post months ago on this path, got here, and realized the path continues up a mountain, or down, or through a pass, or...

You fill in the blank.

For my writer friends, you may experience this anti-climatic moment in marketing. The truth is, THRIVE's launch is far from over. It is...well...forever. Until I die, really. I have the beginning of a second volume on THRIVE (at least the kernel of an idea), but that isn't what I'm talking about.

I'm talking about talking. About sharing. About continuing to reach out to readers, victims, acquaintances, random strangers, organizations, schools, clubs, religious groups, conferences, and companies. This is a message that, while contained in my tiny narrative, is bigger than me. It is important. It is important to all people because fundamentally it is an approach to life.

Around my 20th birthday, I did a small speaking tour in upstate New York about a mission experience (you can read about some of it in THRIVE in Chapter 6: Fear and Death). The big message I shared with church officials, clergy, and Christian youth, was love.

Love.

Compassion.

And ultimately, this is the central message of THRIVE. It isn't quite the same message of that speaking tour, that was the golden rule - love others as you love yourself.

No. THRIVE's message is even more basic, if that is possible. It is - love yourself.

That's the thing. All the lessons, all the perspectives, all that stuff comes down to accepting yourself. If you can't do that, if you can't love yourself, you can't heal. If you can't love yourself, you won't treat others well. If you don't love yourself, you will live in a pit of despair when confronted by trauma or suffering.

These are the two messages of my heart. Every person has messages they are meant to pass on. And mine is love. Love. LOVE!

People may think these are overdone. Said too much. But they can never be said enough. They are so simple, so essential to every action, they are easy to forget. People lose track of these ALL THE TIME! So I'm here, put on this earth, to remind you. Despite everything - despite every hurt you experience - despite every evil act and experience - do not stop loving.

And when you forget, when it gets hard, read a book to help you. Read THRIVE. True superheroes love. They love despite. That is their gift and blessing. Be a gift. Be a blessing. Be a superhero, thrive, and love.

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Ebook versions of THRIVE: HOW I BECAME A SUPERHERO and the journal guide, TRANSFORM TO THRIVE: 32 DAYS FROM VICTIM TO SUPERHERO are on sale today June 15, for a little while longer! 

Or get the paperback of the memoir and journal for that traditional paper feel! ;-) 
 

THRIVE: How to Become a Superhero

Take the chaos and shape it.

If you're in a public place, look around. Look at the people nearby. If you're at home, or in your office, imagine some of your friends. Some of the people you know.

Some of them are superheroes.

You might not realize it. You may not know all the battles they've fought - all the things they've done. And they don't have spandex catsuits (or maybe they do?). They don't have alter egos. They don't have X-ray vision given to them by gamma rays or a weird mutation that allows them to extend bone claws out of their knuckles.

These are not comicbook characters! That would be ridiculous.

No. These people are bona fide heroes. They are testaments to the enduring nature of human spirit. They are beacons of hope in a world of chaos. They are pillars of strength in the face of weakness.

But they weren't always this way. They went through a transformation. And no, it wasn't a genetically modified spider bite or falling into a vat of toxic waste that did it.

More likely it was trauma. It was illness. It was death. It was poverty. It was shunning. It was being stripped down to the bone and being left to fend for themselves. And it sucked.

This process is not fun. It is not easy. Being a superhero is not something you want to do - except it is.

When life gives you horror, terror, pain, and despair, you have a choice. You can allow it to ruin you. You can allow yourself to be weighted down, to wallow, to die an agonizing death of the self. Or you can do something remarkable. You can refuse.

You can embrace the pain and shape it in your hands into something you can use. And once you decide to do that, you are no longer on an ordinary path - you have chosen to be remarkable. And you are. Because everyone is not willing to do this hard work. There are no shortcuts in this process.

You may be wondering, "Well, Alexis, why would I buy your book? I thought it would teach me what to do!"

There are no shortcuts to the transformation. You can't be a superhero without pain. That's the rub. No one gets to that place without extreme experiences. You will suffer.

I repeat - you will suffer.

But that's okay. Because with the right perspective, the right approach to problem-solving, to looking at your life, you can use those experiences.

And the perspective requires learning and practice. It is the difference between saying "I am unemployed and therefore a loser." and "I am unemployed. I should write a novel since I have the time." When you've grown up surrounded by people thinking the former, the latter becomes difficult to do. Sometimes you need a guide. A little help figuring out how to change.

THRIVE gives you specific lessons in changing your perspective. Each chapter has a story from my personal experience. In some cases they are disturbing. But in every case, I got through the experience and used it to grow or do something remarkable. And you can too, if that is what you want.

And believe me, that is definitely something worth wanting.

No one wants to suffer, but if you do, use it. Use it to become great.

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Until June 15, ebook versions of THRIVE: HOW I BECAME A SUPERHERO and the companion journal guide, TRANSFORM TO THRIVE: 32 DAYS FROM VICTIM TO SUPERHERO are at a special price. Preorder and save! Or if you prefer paperback, order the book and journal today!

THRIVE Book Launch Week 10: Help Me Fulfill My Purpose

I have a broad vision, but I need your help.

For the next few posts my format is going to be a bit different. I wanted to focus on THRIVE related stories in the blog posts and keep my update separate. That way the stories are the focus of the post. As expected, THRIVE related posts will, of course, have THRIVE in the title.

Imagine that.

This week was hard because Christian's grandma died (see my last post). It derailed my social media campaign plans and to my chagrin, the people who said they would help me with posting have completely flaked...which really sucks.

More than ever I feel the need for support, in part because of this remarkable woman's death, but also because I feel the intense need for this story to reach people. I need people to read THRIVE. I need it. I believe (and people can think what they will of this) that part of my life purpose is to share this story and change people's lives through it.

I believe the reason I suffered as much as I have is because I am not the kind of person to succumb to addiction, or to sit back, or to wallow. I really feel that my suffering is a vehicle for the healing of others and of communities. I feel at the core of my being, that lives can be transformed by this story.

I need your help.

To get this story out, I need your support. My readers. My friends. My family. My acquaintances. I need you, each and every one of you, to do the following things:

1. Buy a copy of the book - the ebook is cheap, and even cheaper before June 15 (3.99 is less than a fancy coffee!). The paperback is the standard cost for that genre - not bad and you're supporting a friend.  
2. READ it. This goes without saying, but seriously. Read it.
3. Write a review, on Smashwords, Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Apple, whatever. Just do it - please. The more reviews the better.
4. Share posts from my Facebook author page, links to the book (paperback or digital), and or tweets. Talk it up to people who might need to read this story - it could help someone get through a tough part of life.
5. If you're feeling this close to your heart, then share it with organizations, media, or other outlets and contacts that would find this story interesting. I research, but I am limited. I may have missed something. I'm sure I missed something.

The thing I learned is that I am nothing without my support system. I need your help to fulfill the vision I have for this book. I have a dream about what my story can do, and I cannot realize it without you. Each and every one of you. You have come to my aid in the past, saved me from horrible fates (something I detailed in THRIVE), and I need your assistance one more time.

Please. Help me do this. Help me reach out to people suffering in silence. Help me pull them out and show them how they might live.

Thank you.

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LAUNCH UPDATE

What did I do last week? Ugh. I feel like several weeks have passed in the span of one...

• Print copy of Lilith and Ammon
• Print copy of The Brothers
• Print copy of Lovers and Rivals
• Amazon Kindle copy of Lilith
• Kindle copy of new version Brothers
• Kindle copy of Lovers
• Uploaded Thrive preorder to Kindle
• Uploaded Thrive journal preorder to Kindle
• Blogged

And this week?

• Aggressive social media campaign posts - G+, Twitter, Facebook, author forums
• Blog posts
• Solicit organizations for Thrive as resource listing
• Solicit organizations for speaking engagements
• Upload to Patreon
• Start Family, Friend, Foe rewrite (WOOHOO!)

 I think that's enough. Remember, June 15 the Smashwords price will jump on THRIVE and TRANSFORM TO THRIVE. Until that point, you get a significant savings so make sure to PREORDER NOW! Unless you want to buy the paperback, in which case...ORDER NOW (the journal too!)! :-)

THRIVE Despite Loss: One Woman's Story

Yesterday an amazing person left this world. You may have met her, or maybe not. Anne was the kind of person who made friends everywhere because she did so much with every moment of her life. She did so much, helped so many, and was a model for living. She was a school nurse who was so important and irreplaceable, the school called her out of retirement. She volunteered at her church for her entire adult life, doing jobs no one else would do. She worked at a thrift store where all the proceeds went to people in need. She drove her shut-in friends around for errands. She made sure they had everything they needed, including love. She gave of her self and her resources to the community and also to her family. There was never too small an act. There was never too little material. There was never too little time.

She was and did all these things despite one major hole in her heart. She experienced the kind of loss from which it is impossible to ever really recover. In her prime of life, her family was halved. This loss, I knew, was never far from her mind and yet, she lived. She was a blessing everywhere she went. She was powerful and generous and gracious and good.

She was a superhero. Truly.

Everyone has those kinds of moments - of loss, abuse, poverty, emotional turmoil, spiritual crisis, or relational disconnect. They happen. They happen to everyone in one form or another. And when these moments happen, we can stay in that moment and stop living. We can wallow. We can spiral down. That is one choice.

The other option is to choose life. We can live fully, completely, every moment. We can give of ourselves. We can immerse ourselves in our communities. We can be a light in a difficult world. We can be superheroes.

While this process starts with a choice, sometimes it is hard to understand the next step. That is why I wrote THRIVE, not only so anyone would know the choice was theirs, but so they would have a model for how to transform their perspective, and therefore, their lives.

Do not let loss cloud your heart. Do not let an attack continue to hold power over you. Do not let walls prevent you from being who you were meant to be. You can be like Anne, the amazing woman who continues to leave her mark in the lives of those she touched. This is what I wish for you, to live fully no matter what you encounter in life. You can do it. You can thrive.

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There is still time to pre-order digital copies of THRIVE: HOW I BECAME A SUPERHERO and TRANSFORM TO THRIVE: 32 DAYS FROM VICTIM TO SUPERHERO! Order them today at the special pre-order price and save!

Or purchase them in paperback here! 

THRIVE Book Launch Week 9: Why Everyone Needs This Book

Despite suffering, I thrive.

THRIVE is radically different from anything I've written thus far. It is memoir - and a highly personal, highly revealing memoir at that. I share things about myself in THRIVE that I have not shared to any single person, with one exception.

Christian is the one person who knew the whole story - every detail and emotional reaction.

My friends and family knew pieces, but not everything. They learned everything the first time they read the book.

And it is not an easy read. It is painful. It was painful to write. Up until this point, I have hinted but not stated explicitly. Here I will explain why. The following is just a taste of the contents of THRIVE:

• I was molested as a toddler by an older boy.
• I suffered overt misogyny and abuse at the hands of boys while growing up, even as I suffered silently with the aftereffects of my molestation.
• I was so ill in a third world country, I brushed death.
• I suffered every kind of attack a woman can suffer - stalking, following at night, verbal, emotional, and physical abuse. I was also raped by a friend in college.
• I lived in possibly the worst apartment in the developed world, which was sold to Christian and I as a reasonable place to start married life (think: no AC in a bombed out section of Phoenix and you begin to get the picture).
• I was unemployed for more of my adult life than not, including a time when multiple student loans were coming due.
• I suffered homelessness right after giving birth to my son, and struggling to accept unrealized expectations - the American Dream was my American Nightmare.

This is not everything. This is just a peek at what THRIVE contains. The book is graphic. It is not an easy read. And yet... I lived through these things and more (for details, you need to get a copy). You would never know it if I didn't tell you.

I have done so much more with my life. I am so much more than the difficulties I've experienced. And that is what this book is about. It is about using these difficult things - taking the bad and ugly, along with the good, and becoming more than before.

That is why I wrote the book. I chose to reveal these difficult, painful things, because I could not stand one more person getting blamed for their suffering. I could not stand to sit by, watching people around me not understanding the depths of pain that any person might experience, despite their station in life. I couldn't stand watching others ruined by difficulties. How could I let someone else struggle longer than they needed to when I could show them a way to not only manage, but harness their suffering? How could I stand by when I had strategies and tools at my disposal that could make a difference in the lives of individuals and their communities?

I couldn't. I couldn't any longer. I want my legacy to be something my son can take pride in - that will be a force for positive change in the world. To do that, I had to lay myself bare. I made myself vulnerable. And I know my life flies in the face of what many people think is reality. Which is exactly why I had to write THRIVE - because people have to know. Everyone needs to understand what is possible - both the levels of hidden suffering, and the potential power gained through such experience.

So please, for yourself, for your community, for your friends who have not yet broken their silence - read this book. It will open your eyes.

*********************************
LAUNCH UPDATE

Last week was big for me. I got a lot of big things accomplished.

• Published THRIVE in paperback.
• Published TRANSFORM TO THRIVE in paperback.
• Updated my author website.
• Finished revamped covers of Books 1-3 in KHLOE ALWELL series.
• Drew cover drawing for Book 4 in KHLOE.
• Finished coverart for Book 4.
• Published 2nd edition of THE BROTHERS on Smashwords.
• Published 2nd edition of LOVERS AND RIVALS on Smashwords.
• Blogged.
• Uploaded link to Patreon.
• Got 75% revamp of LILITH done.
• Pitched articles related to THRIVE to 2 different sites.
• Wrote and submitted guest post to a blog, set to go live in early July.
• Researched possibilities for audio books.

This week I would like to:

• Submit some more posts related to THRIVE
• Confirm when I need to follow up with people/media about pitches being accepted.
• Finish LILITH revamp and publish 2nd edition.
• Publish 2nd edition of KHLOE books to Amazon.
• Review potential publicist relationship.
• Pitch a guest post about women in fantasy.
• Get social media campaign figured out.
• Time to get videos done...about THRIVE?
• Blog
• Patreon

I hope this is another big week. I had a bit of down time over the weekend, and now I'm ready to jump back into the fray. I'm anxious to dig in.

Why I Love Khloe Alwell, and You Should Too

During my launch of THRIVE, I started the process of revamping - or rather rewriting - my Khloe Alwell series.

I fell in love all over again.

I had forgotten how rich and complex the books are. I forgot the nitty gritty of all the characters. I forgot how damn sexy the boys are. Like...really. I forgot how much I totally love Laran.

In talking with a friend about my love of Laran, she grinned.
"Have you ever heard Anne Rice talk about Lestat?" she asked, twisting her lips.
"No," I said, raising my brows.
"You talk about Laran the way she talks about Lestat. Like, you really love him." Her eyes sparkled and I grinned sheepishly.
"Laran is my dream man. If they ever did a TV or movie adaptation of these books, I might have problems. My marriage might be in trouble. I mean, I think I might fall in love with Laran. I might forget the poor guy was just an actor."

And it's true. But the other guys are nothing to sniff at. I mean, I love them all for different reasons. All my characters are family to me. But Laran is... something else.

And because I love him, love all of them, I had to publish a second edition. I didn't do the best job I could have when I first published these books, so I went back. Hopefully I'm doing my characters justice. I want readers to fall in love with Khloe. To hate her attackers, get angry with her, to bite their lips as she yearns, and to cringe as she tries to reject with grace. I want them to ache when Laran enters a scene. To grumble with Constantine. To saunter with Freyr. I want them to glow with Dani.

I want readers to get bloody and bothered and caught up.

This is why I am so pleased that second editions of THE BROTHERS and LOVERS AND RIVALS are now for sale on Smashwords (and soon after on all major online retailers).

If you haven't explored Khloe yet, I invite you dive in, see humanity as you've never seen it. Explore climate change in a way that you never imagined. See myth, faith, love, sex, and high school in a wild story of self-discovery and empowerment that shows what girls are made of - the stuff of legend.

THRIVE Book Launch Week 8: Indie Sadomasochism

Right now I am sitting alone, and I'm not quite sure what to do. I had to fall back on my launch plan and Monday routine to get on track.

I am actually in my room alone, without a toddler, or any immediate obligations and it is jarring in the same way a whirlwind is. I feel out of sorts. I feel off kilter. I feel...lost.

This past week was nothing short of insane. Instead of my declared plan for last week, I went in a radically different direction and got THRIVE and TRANSFORM TO THRIVE formatted and set up for print on demand. Anyone who knows anything about publishing will recognize this is a Herculean task for a creative. It is tedious. It is time-consuming. It requires intense attention to detail. It is entirely too repetitive to be considered anything less than electronic torture.

And I did this twice.

While herding a toddler.

While my parents were out of town.

Around digital pre-order day - the day when I was sending out approximately 180 emails to media and organizations that might be interested in the books.

Needless to say, the process resulted in an insane amount of temper tantrums, both mine and my toddler's. I induced several headaches. I worked to complete exhaustion. By Saturday, I was barely functional. There was a lot of Sesame Street involved, which was a shameless saving grace.

And today I get to order the proofs. Once I get those, I can approve them for print and anyone can purchase a hard copy (including bookstores and libraries).

This was the last big hurdle in my THRIVE publication process. It was the last big hill in my publishing marathon and now I can actually see the finish. While I am still a little nervous about THRIVE's reception (because it discusses many controversial topics) I know I am doing a good thing. I know this is important work. It is why I am focused on this and this alone until it is finished.

It is inspired. The whole conversation is inspired. And I am excited to help people. I am excited to make the world a better place by having this story in it. This puts all the pain and anguish of every aspect of publication into perspective. The torture was temporary. It has passed. And now I am in a time of waiting. Waiting to see - to experience - to watch. And I know, no matter what happens, at least I find fulfillment here.

My soul is at peace.

********************************

LAUNCH UPDATE:

As I said, last week took a weird and slightly unexpected turn. With that in mind, this is what I accomplished:

• Blog posts (plus an extra one)
• Located list of local media outlets
• 180~ emails sent to colleges, organizations, and media outlets about THRIVE
• POD book covers
• POD formatting
• Reviewed POD files
• Set up  POD order pages
• Set up speaking page on site
• Joined a few more author forums
• Read a few publishing articles
• Sent out social media posts on pre-order day

This week:

• Reach out to my mentor/connector
• Follow up on mail error messages from email blast
• Order proofs for THRIVE and TRANSFORM TO THRIVE
• Finish LILITH
• Finish KHLOE book covers
• Upload corrected/revamped KHLOE books
• Send out social media reminders to pre-order THRIVE & TRANSFORM TO THRIVE
• Inquiry bloggers who may be interested in guest posts etc for THRIVE.
• Pitch to sites that have followings interested in THRIVE topics. 
• Blog posts 
• Breathe

I think that's more than enough. Don't you? Especially since a family friend is visiting this coming weekend.  I'm planning on really focusing on the last point. That one is going to be the most important one to remember.

Be sure to reserve your copy of THRIVE: HOW I BECAME A SUPERHERO and TRANSFORM TO THRIVE: 32 DAYS FROM VICTIM TO SUPERHERO!

THRIVE Book Launch Week 7: Pre-order Day & Marathon Madness

I can see it, but it's still so much further....

Last week was slow. Then with Mothers' Day family obligations I ended up doing a lot less than I wanted. And my social media phone app went wonky. And my computer stopped charging consistently. And everything just felt...bleh.

Despite this, I continued to press on. I continued and I found myself talking with a fascinating person who was most unexpected. I don't know what will come of that connection, but I intend to see that through, wherever it leads.

And that is me. Try things. Screw up. Adjust. Try things. Screw up less. Adjust.Try things...ad infinitum.

To some that might seem like a waste of time. However, it is the only way that makes sense to me. I will make mistakes. I know this happens. However, I do not let this stop me from acting. I do not let this hinder my will. I do not let it keep me from reaching. I am so full of vision it is impossible to remain content with any situation. There is always more to do. There is always better. I can always be more.

Some people would just give up, but I refuse.

Is this folly? Madness? Maybe. Only time will tell. But I know that if I didn't try everything I would ache. I would know I didn't try one or two things and that would disappoint me. That would keep me up at night.

This is one of my superpowers - drive. My narrative of suffering chronicled in THRIVE has this theme - my refusal to stay down. My refusal to let anything hold me back. And some people may look at my experiences and wonder how I can see lessons. Some people might wonder how I can step in a pile of shit and ask, "Where is the pony?"

But that is the thing. That is the gift I was given: to see the good and bad anywhere I look. I understand what it is like to feel complete hopelessness. I understand what it is like to feel violated and betrayed by people close to me. I understand what it is like to look at death. I have been to those places. I have walked through them, and come out to the other side to share these stories.

Some people might say this optimism is an opiate, and they would be right.

An opiate is something that helps manage pain. Yes, it could become addictive BUT fundamentally it is meant to help you endure. And so I used my optimism to endure.

I do not feel this is a crutch. I do not feel like it is a problem. When everything breaks down around me, I need to call on that deep inner strength. My optimism helps me summon that power, call it forth, and continue despite everything.

And this week, when everything is precarious...I need it more than ever. I'm almost to the finishline. Now is not the time to shut down. 

Now is the time to push harder.

********************************************

LAUNCH UPDATE

I mentioned above that I had a slow week and I did. And with everything breaking, or not at top functionality, I struggled to keep my momentum. I did. I imagine this is what a marathon runner feels like in the last few miles of a race. On the one hand, I'm excited that I can almost see the finish line. On the other hand, I wish I could sit down on an overstuffed chair, and drink a glass of red.

This is what I got done last week:

• Met with connector and brainstormed opportunities for THRIVE among other things
• Got over 150 entries in my press kit/speaking opportunity database
• Wrote cover letters
• Sent a few press kits out to connections
• Fiddled with website (and changed my mind about a few things)
• Read a number of articles about marketing
• Got to 63% in LILITH
• Tweaked revamped covers
• Finalized format for THRIVE and TRANSFORM TO THRIVE (added connect, about author etc)
• Blogged

This is what I need to get done this week:

• Upload THRIVE & TRANSFORM TO THRIVE to Smashwords and set up pre-order
• Send out press kits to media
• Send out press kits to colleges, organizations etc
• Sign up for speaking bureau at RAINN (among others?)
• Finish cover tweaks for KHLOE series
• Finish LILITH
• Upload corrected books, descriptions, and new covers for KHLOE
• Follow up with connector/mentor
• Info blast on social media about pre-order
• Consider Createspace for print on demand version of THRIVE and TRANSFORM TO THRIVE.
• Think about business cards
• Create speaking page for website (and list topics etc)
• Blog
• Patreon.... 
• Pitch THRIVE related story ideas to sites and blogs?

I'm sure there is more. I don't know when I'll get time to do videos. I want to get them done, but the problem is I need quiet time and light to do them as well as someone to watch my toddler. It has been next to impossible to get all those things simultaneously. For now, I'm going to focus on the absolute essentials and if I get the videos done, I'll be really pleased. But that is definitely icing at this point. The most important is to get the books into tip-top shape and available.

THRIVE Book Launch Week 6: Temping

Keep moving. It's all temporary.

Recently I had an epiphany, which is strangely related to THRIVE.

I realized even though I still get freaked out, depressed, or angry, even in the moment I see the experience of those feelings as temporary. Before, I felt bad and it made me feel like the whole world was awful and there was no light. Now I recognize I am reacting to a specific situation, which will pass, and it does nothing to hinder my progress.

Before I might have wallowed. Now I give myself the freedom to feel, accept the feeling, and then move on to do what has to be done.

My core situation is solid - I have my family. We love each other. Everything else is dressing. Everything else is a game. I move the pieces. I try different things. I experiment. I have fun. I get annoyed. And at the end of the day, I come back to my husband and son.

While I haven't been in war, I've been torn down enough to know that I have what really matters in life. I have family, friends, and an extensive support network who surround me with love. In this, I have been extraordinarily successful. And I am profoundly grateful for this situation, and for the epiphany that everything else in life is just fun and games.

Really.

That is not to say that my actions don't matter, or that I don't want to have a legacy for my son, or a positive impact on my community, country, and planet. I do want those things.But I am open to how they play out. I am detached from a specific result. I intend to enjoy the ride. I intend to enjoy helping as many people as I can with THRIVE. I intend to enjoy fulfilling the purpose given to me. I intend to enjoy every moment of life, even the angry, sad, or anxious ones. All of these things are gifts. All of them are part of the experience - part of the game.

And it's all good. Truly it is.

************************************
LAUNCH UPDATE

It's a bit of a mixed bag, and I feel like last week was a blur. Maybe the stress of the marathon involved with this process finally caught up to me. Whatever it was, I was exhausted all week and had trouble focusing on tasks. That said, I was able to finish the following:

• Patreon blog post
• Patreon art upload
• Regular blog posts
• Incorporated magicworkers' suggestions into press kit
• Scheduled a meeting with a "connector" who has a lot of similar interests and influential friends
• Finished west coast press kit contact database (in hopes of speaking engagements)
• Reached out to connected friends at several universities
• Finished revamping LOVERS & RIVALS
• Determined ideal camera set up for videos
• Recorded prelim/video tests (need to redo for the perfect ones)
• 43% revamped LILITH & AMMON
• 75% done with "influences" page on author website
• Created "author ambassador" contact form and solicited from friends and other connections.
• Downloaded fonts for new covers
• Downloaded grammar extension for word processor

And the plan for this week is:

• Finish LILITH & AMMON
• Finish formatting THRIVE
• Finalize revamped covers for KHLOE series
• Patreon EXCLUSIVE upload of a short story
• Blog posts
• Finalize "influences" page
• Finalize first video set (especially Patreon ones)
• Upload KHLOE books with revamped covers to all outlets
• Upload new covers to website & blog
• Finalize east coast contact database
• Have meeting with connector and follow up on any relevant brainstorming/ideas

I think that's it...but I'm a little scattered at the moment. I'm experiencing that temporary feeling of anxiety the closer I get to pre-order day (May 15). In the end, everything will be what it will be...BUT, I still don't want to get caught with my pants down. I know that everything could always get picked and prodded more, and that I just have to let that go. I can't know what people will get riled about, or what will speak to people. I can't worry about it. In the end, it was my life. You can't argue with experience. It was. It speaks for itself. And I can't control what others hear.

BE MY PATRON!

If you love my blogging, my books, or just love supporting creatives, I strongly urge you to become my patron on Patreon.

What is Patreon?

Patreon is a site that lets fans connect with makers of any and all stripes.

How does it work?

You sign up as a subscriber and BAM! You're a patron! You get access to an exclusive community of fans, special rewards, personal interaction, and exclusive work before ANYONE ELSE. Any time I put up a piece of writing in a given month for patronage, your account is charged your pledge. BUT you are only charged up to the limit of your budget. SO if you pledge $3 and your budget is $6, you would only get charged twice, even if I put up 3 paid pieces. It is a win-win for both of us! You get to control how much you pledge, get access to awesome stuff before anyone else, AND support this indie author.

What do you have in store for patrons?

Not gonna lie. There are some AWESOME things heading the way of my patron page. In fact, I am working on a serial story, EXCLUSIVELY for patrons. That's right. IT WILL ONLY BE ACCESSIBLE TO PATRONS.

Once a month I intend to upload one episode/chapter of the story to the patron page. As the story develops, those patrons with access to the suggestion thread are able to comment on story direction for the next chapter. While I have a general plan as to where the story is going, it is meant to be an interactive experience with my patrons.

The premise? It is admittedly in its early stages at this point, but I am committed to the main character. I'll say more after the first episode/chapter is complete.

In addition to the serial story, I have some stand-alone shorts that will be accessible FIRST on Patreon. Also artwork inspired by different novels will be available to patrons. And maybe some of that artwork will be based on fan models! Hmm. I like that idea.

So, all this is to say, patronizing your sweet indie author is awesome. You get cool stuff and help a girl out. Become my patron today!

THRIVE Book Launch Week 5: Grateful

I am jumping out of my skin because I am SO excited.

I am excited about revelation, helping people, transformation, joy, heartache, and the power and strength my journey has given me.

I am excited by the wonderful people who surround me with love and life every day. What wonderful people the world has made! How lucky I am to be blessed with them in my life!

I am so grateful for the support I have received for this project (THRIVE) already. It feels as though I am walking with arms wrapped around me, hugging me, urging me, holding me up, and pushing me ever forward - picking me up at the slightest stumble.

You, my dear friends, are what this is all about. Really. And I love each and every one of you. I really, truly do.

I would be a fraction of myself without you - a lone filament. This, I know beyond doubt, as you prove yourselves time and again. No one is alone. Each person is a moment - a point in time, in a network of relationship. Touch a thread, and ripples move across the web. And when I reach out, I see more connections than I ever expected. And this - this is glorious.

*********************
LAUNCH UPDATE

This past week went in a slightly different direction than I anticipated, in part because I had a mini burnout, inspired partially from computer troubles. Thankfully my wonderful partner corrected that. So this is what I completed in the last week:

• 90% LOVERS & RIVALS revamped
• Author website up and running (domain and hosting purchased etc) - http://alexisdonkin.com
• Outreach to target group of magicworkers for campaign/marketing advice
• Tweaking and completion (really this time!) of THRIVE manuscript
• Developing database of contacts to receive press kit (in hopes of securing speaking engagements and possible book purchases)
• Blog posts
• Patreon posts
• Brainstormed/outlined serialized writing for Patreon subscribers (more on this later!)
• Brainstormed additional tabs for website (influences with relevant links?)
• Implemented daily back-ups of documents
• Outreach to author forums for social media boost & marketing advice
• Made social media picture posts
• Updated social media
• Linkedin
• G+
• Facebook author page
• Twitter
• Patreon

This week I hope to get the following done:

• LOVERS & RIVALS 100% revamped
• BROTHERS & L&R covers revamped
• BROTHERS & L&R revamped books on Smashwords & Amazon
• Patreon uploads (first look at me reading book excerpt? artwork inspired by novels?)
• Videos - 
• intro to author site
• intro to Patreon, 
• Patreon thank you 
• reading book excerpt?
• Blog posts (of course)
• Begin revamping LILITH & AMMON
• Continue developing THRIVE contact database
• Do social media/marketing planning with magicworkers
• Contact blogs/influencers about guest posts/blurbs for book(?)
• Finish formatting THRIVE for publication

It is a lot. I know. BUT... we're coming up on the pre-order date for THRIVE (May 15) and I need to have as much ready as I can. The more preparation, the better this whole enterprise will be.

P.S. If you want to be a part of the journey....LET ME KNOW! I need a team of committed ambassadors for THRIVE. It is an important book with an important message and I want it to help as many people as it can. With your help, its reach increases!

THRIVE Book Launch Week 4: Burn Ships

Last week I got my final rejection letter for grad school.

Some people might give condolences, but I'm not sorry. I'm not because I also got another series of notices telling me I was not being considered for jobs. It felt like the go ahead...as in, the Universe dropped a piano to knock some sense into me,

It's okay Alexis. You are supposed to do this. If you don't effing do this, I'm going to make you. Love and Kisses, God/The Universe/Metaphysical Forces Everywhere.

Every other door closed. With every door closed except one, things get pretty easy. In fact, stupidly easy. In fact, I should drink a beer right now in gratitude.

And then there was another thing. As I reworked my KHLOE ALWELL series, I realized, I love these books. I mean, I would reread these books for fun...over and over...like I do Jane Austen, or Harry Potter. I mean, I'm not comparing myself to those writers, except to say I enjoy the story just as much. I mean, I'm reworking the heck out of these books. I was a hobbyist when I published them originally. I've grown tremendously since writing THE BROTHERS, but...

I love Laran. I love him. He is...my favorite. I mean, this guy seriously is the hot, snarky, punk I always wanted in a book. And I identify with Khloe - the girl who reluctantly accepts and embraces her power, to become something the world never expected, but always wanted. I love these books. Love. Them.

And I wrote them! Ha! And it's great if other people love them too, but I think...maybe...I just wrote them for me. And that's enough. The sexy, action-packed, snark is enough for me.

And as I realized that, while every other door closed, I filled with strength. Because suddenly, it didn't matter any more whether I sold ten books, or a hundred thousand. Suddenly, it didn't matter if people hated or loved my words.

I was meant to write. I was meant for this. I sailed across the sea, and as I reached the shore, those ships all burned. There are no bridges. There are only locked doors behind me. There is only one way forward - the word. My words.

The steps unfold before me, and I will take them with purpose - with faith - knowing it is my path, and it is right.

*************
LAUNCH PROGRESS UPDATE:

This past week was hard because I had some scheduling issues (in addition to the closed doors) and my computer was on the fritz. Christian got it back up and running, thankfully, but I now do daily back-ups so I won't lose any work. Read: I am going to have to replace my computer this year. Yikes.

Despite this, last week I finished:

• Patreon upload
• Blog posts
• Thrive & journal covers
• Updates to Thrive
• Revisions to journal
• Consulted with other authors about marketing
• Consulted with friends about marketing
• 100% revamped THE BROTHERS
• 30% revamped LOVERS & RIVALS
• Researched celebrity influencers
• Researched marketing campaigns
• Wrote out more marketing plans
• Divied up marketing elements
• Drew and edited novel artwork

This week I need to:

• Upload again to Patreon
• Write blog posts
• finish THRIVE updates
• talk to de facto editor about THRIVE updates
• Complete website
• Buy domain and hosting
• Upload revamped BROTHERS, description, & new cover
• 100% finish revamp of LOVERS & RIVALS
• revamp social media outlets (Facebook author page, Twitter, Patreon)
• finish social media cover photo promoting THRIVE

I'll let everyone know about updates, and definitely post website links etc as soon as it is up. I'm itching to get it done! If only there was more time in a day...

THRIVE Book Launch: Week 2

Last week I listed my marketing failures and gave an overview of my next marketing attempt, a book launch for my upcoming memoir/self-help book THRIVE.

I discovered several things last week: delegating is necessary and I might not get done all the "little" things.

When I looked at my launch schedule and weekly tasks, I realized it would be a stretch for me to get everything done. So what could I do? First I asked Christian if he would help me. This was a GOOD idea. He wanted to help me launch the book because, of course, my success is our success. It will benefit our entire family. We went through the different tasks and he chose some he would enjoy and used his talents. They also happened to be things that would take a LOT of stress off me because of the amount of time I would take if I did them (Christian's experience and knowledge set made the same tasks take half the time.).

Then I started on the biggest task of my launch plan - editing and proofing. I decided I would revamp my ENTIRE library. I recognized that when I originally published my novels, especially my early works, I climbed a steep learning curve. I made mistakes. I continue climbing that curve. I make more mistakes. I go back. I correct. That is the biggest piece of this whole process - correction.

And of course, it also takes the longest time. I made it about half-way through my editing/proofing of THE BROTHERS last week. This was in part because it had the most corrections necessary (I hope) and also because I had a lot of family obligations as it was Holy Week. Thankfully, Holy Week is only one week of the year and I don't have any other major obligations during my launch plan. I can, from now on, devote every spare minute to my process.

And I will.

So far, I have completed the following:

• Developed my launch plan
• Delegated tasks to Christian
• Brainstormed potential influencers in THRIVE content areas
• Half my proofing goal of THE BROTHERS
• 85% my proofing/editing goal of THRIVE
• 100% my proofing/editng goal of THRIVE JOURNAL GUIDE
• Website design/content upload
• Weekly blog posts
• Weekly Patreon uploads

This week my plan is to work on the following:

• Finish proofing THE BROTHERS
• Finish proofing THRIVE
• Weekly blog post (check!)
• Weekly Patreon upload
• Revamp my book descriptions and update on Smashwords
• Brainstorm author video topics

I'm confident I can get this done, even while managing a 19 month old. As things are completed, like the website, I will update everyone through Patreon, Twitter, G+, and Facebook with links.

Also, if you, dear readers, are interested in helping me to launch my book, let me know! I will be soliciting social media ambassadors as we get closer to launch (June 1 will be the beginning of the social media campaign). If you want to post to your networks on my behalf with pre-fabbed posts courtesy of moi, LET ME KNOW! Keep it in mind....and I'll keep you posted.

Here's to launch inertia building!

The Waiting Game

Watching time go by...

Lately all I do is wait. I'm just waiting. My own version of purgatory.

"A 34? Proceed to window 7. A 34? Proceed to window 7."

That is what I may as well hear. Because I'm waiting.

I'm waiting for responses to my doctoral applications. I'm waiting for those responses because I cannot make any choices without that information. Honestly, I haven't determined the choices I would make in hypothetical scenarios. So I snap at those closest to me. I curl in a ball on the couch. I hold on to the present as best as I can, as best as I ca wait.

I'm waiting for feedback on my nonfiction book. Waiting to respond to all those social media posts that clearly don't have experience in the things I do. That don't seem to understand what they are saying to people who share my secret life. Waiting to reveal myself, my history, for all its horrors and glory. Waiting to make a splash even as the waters are dark, filled with sharks and blood. Biting my nails. Donning my armor. Watching. Sharpening my sword. Waiting.

I'm waiting for someone to read book 4 in Khloe. Waiting to be ready to reread it. To rewrite it. To draw the cover that it is meant to have. To be inspired into that art. Waiting to publish it, for those fans loyal to the series. Waiting to push it against all those science deniers...waiting to connect it to the stories of the extreme things that should only be the stuff of fantasy, but are real. The drought...the storms...the insane snow...are real...and where do they come from? Waiting.

I'm waiting to get that mentor promised me. Waiting to hear back from websites. Waiting to get help recording videos - recording audio - creating platforms. Waiting to have enough time to work out. Waiting to decide what I want to do with my life. Waiting to pay off my debt. Waiting to change the world. Waiting to have people understand my deepest depths. Waiting to get a job. Waiting to be independent. Waiting to have the benefits I so desperately need - the rewards I so richly desire. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting.

I am not a patient person. I have done all that I can do to prepare. I have done all I can do to hold on to this vision in my head of a future, of a more wonderful life. I just can't wait any more. I can't stand another day. I can't stand another hour - another minute - another second. It is crushing my spirit - my mind - my heart.

I just want to hear...

"Alexis? Proceed to window 1. Alexis? Proceed to window 1."

Who Never Read 50 Shades

Recently there has been a war in social media about 50 SHADES. I have a theory about why.

For the most part there are three groups in this fight. The first says the book is poorly written but entertaining drivel. They say it has nothing wrong. There were no rape scenes. It wasn't abusive. It's just erotica etc etc.

Then there are others who read it and hated it not because of the writing quality necessarily, but because of the message communicated to women and girls about BDSM and sexual relationships.

The most extreme warriors in this battle are those who never read the book and will not see the movie. These are the people who have started Twitter campaigns and written editorials. These are the people who unfollow and unfriend fans.

I think the first group has lived in blissful ignorance of the experiences of the other two. The fans cannot have experienced physical abuse or sexual violence and comfortably enjoy these books. How can you read about someone getting hit or humiliated or dominated and feel comfortable if you experienced sexual violence or physical abuse yourself? Maybe these fans have never experienced overt misogyny. They don't know what it is like to be told, in no uncertain terms, that they are worthless because they have a vagina. Whatever the case, they have seemingly gone through life unscathed.

The second group, my guess, has had some abuse experience either through friends or family, or directly to a mild amount. They have suffered at the hands of someone with more power. They have experienced or watched someone else suffer through something. They are allies to those who have bore the brunt of the abusive statistics and they recognize the connections between popular entertainment and the normalizing of such behavior.

The last group, the anti-fans, are the ones we really need to pay attention to. These are the people we need to take the time to understand and empathize with. These are our canaries in the coal mine. I believe these are the most likely to have suffered directly. They are the ones who were manipulated, molested, beaten, or raped. They are the ones who were stripped of their power by someone they trusted. They were the ones who have been told by society it was their fault. They are the ones who discovered the very people closest to them would not come to their aid when they were abused.

When I was younger I was told by a friend, the people who are most sensitive, most outspoken about abuse, are those who have experienced something directly. Let's consider the statistics. 1 in 3 women will be sexually or physically abused in their life time. That is ONE BILLION WOMEN. Of the women alive today, one billion of them have or will be abused physically or sexually.

That's a lot of people.

Think about your Facebook feed. Think about your friends. Think about your Twitter, G+, and Instagram followers. Think about the people you grew up with. How many of them reacted poorly to this book? The movie? Maybe they were impacted directly by abuse. It is possible. It is likely.

Statistically you know someone who has been raped. You know someone who was molested. You know someone who was beaten. You know someone who was verbally abused. You probably know many someones. Just because it happened doesn't mean they would tell you. Don't assume you were judged to be a safe person. These are the things we don't talk about. These are things society says are shameful.

So if you are a fan of this infamous piece of pulp, think about what it tells those people, what they hear out of your mouth: I am not safe. I am not going to protect you. I stand with your abuser.

And all you thought you said was, "It was a fun Saturday read."