Starting from Scratch in Fantasy Cosplay

WonderCon 2011

I have a dream - a dream of fantastic costumes and hairstyles. Of Khloe Alwell made real.

When Kiddo was little, and unaware of everything beyond 12 inches from his face, I watched the SyFy channel religiously (I mean, those are my people). My favorite shows were the reality special effects shows, like Face Off, but I also found Heroes of Cosplay fascinating. I love how people transform into fantastic characters before my eyes. It scratches that part of my creative brain. But I've never done it myself.

I do not consider myself a hardcore fantasy/sci-fi nerd, by any stretch. I hardly count as a fan. Periodically I dabble. I mean, I've watched some anime. I've read Pern books. I grew up with Star Trek, Aliens, Labyrinth, and The Princess Bride, but I never really dove into the fan culture. I never owned comic books. I never played Magic or LARPed, or anything of the sort.

I comfortably straddled the fence between genre nerdom and popular culture.

So even though I also knew a lot about art, I didn't learn much about fabrication. I had no real impetus to learn. I didn't involve myself in drama, or in cosplay. I can barely work a sewing machine (mostly because I haven't practiced...at all).

And then I went to a comic convention. It scratched that part of my creative brain. I read about characters that I might cosplay, that Christian and I could cosplay together (we decided Thor and Sif were probably the most look-alike comic characters).

But... now that Khloe is finished as a series (read: shedding single tear), I really want people to fall in love with her the way I have (and everyone in the Otherworld does in the books). So Christian and I were talking about it, and an idea was born.

If I was a character in a graphic novel...

Christian: Alexis, why don't you cosplay as Khloe? I mean, are there any outfits that would work?
*I blush*
Christian: Did you just blush?
Me: Some of the outfits are...
Christian: Really?
Me: I mean, they're tasteful, but they are definitely...uh...
Christian: Hm.
Me: I mean, I would love to cosplay as Khloe. I love the clothes. I just don't know how I would make them look like they are in my head.
Christian: Do you know anyone who cosplays? Who might help you?

Ahem. So, that's where we are. Do I know anyone who cosplays? Who could help me fabricate this? Or who would want to fabricate it? These are involved outfits, some of which would be pretty intense projects, but also might put a person on the map (judging from the things people look for in the Heroes of Cosplay show).

Leave a comment below or message me: http://facebook.com/authoralexisdonkin or twitter @alexisdonkin

I'm so serious about this, so if this is a project you'd be interested in, please let me know!

"Misogyny Just Part of the Culture?!" A.K.A. "Sci-fi For Girls"

If there is one thing I hate, it's misogyny. Some might argue women-hating is dead. If someone honestly thinks that, it is our duty to take them aside and dispel their delusions. Misogyny is alive and well in one of the most popular American subcultures - nerd culture.

First let's figure out what "nerd culture" means. For the purposes of our discussion, let's assume nerd culture includes hard-core gamers, LARPers, table-top gamers, anime lovers, comic-book fanatics, as well as sci-fi, paranormal, and fantasy lovers. We could include some "geek culture" in this, and add engineers, mathematicians, and computer scientists - there certainly is overlap. However, I think nerd culture, as opposed to geek culture, is the real culprit when it comes to misogyny. Nerd culture does not require any degree of sophisticated higher-learning, whereas education is required in geek culture. Let's face it, the academy is a bit more accepting of gender equality (though women have certainly had a tough slog in the hard sciences). Besides, we're emphasizing a culture spurred by entertainment, not occupation.

Now that we're clear on who is included in our beloved nerd culture, let's tackle the giant flailing elephant in the room.

Why is it that women are second-class citizens in nerd culture?

I think there are several contributing factors. One is the perception of women as evil, manipulative creatures. In the past, nerds were less desirable mates. Thought of as unattractive, and socially incompetent, who would want a nerdy husband when the perfectly-formed athletic ubermensch was available? Nerdy boys have traditionally been friend-zoned, and as we all know, once being declared a friend, it is difficult to be anything else. The collective hurt of being relegated to friend, tormented, and misused by immature teen girls has become internalized by nerd culture. This hurt was transformed into a seething hatred, which was fueled by other aspects of nerd-dom.

This leads us to a second contributing factor to the misogynist nerd. This is the prominent adolescent idea that women are objects, as opposed to subjects, with the sole purpose of providing pleasure. Even if a female character is supposed to be self-possessed, she always appears in spandex, fitted vinyl, or rubber. If she's fully covered, her outfit is skin-tight, but she is just as often half-naked. Usually she has long, tousled hair. She is always beautiful. There is always the undercurrent that her real purpose is to please the men around her, as opposed to any agenda of her own. This depiction of women is an expression of a previously held conception, while serving to reinforce the ideas associated with such images.

While this depiction of women may be one of the more overt contributing factors, there are others that are more insidious. For example, the type of thinking involved in nerd culture is primarily analytical, as opposed to relational. This is perpetuated by the types of games and stories popular in nerd culture.

Honestly, women think differently. Our brains function differently. We react to information in different ways from men. Because nerd culture has been predominated by men, the type of entertainment present is clearly tailored for them. It makes it difficult to break into such a culture, because clearly, women are not welcome. I've heard from many of my nerdy friends that relational stories are stupid, unrealistic, or just plain bad. Of course, these are the same stories that would appeal to many female audiences. I say this because biologically, women are predisposed to concern ourselves with family and community relationships in an effort to raise children. This is not to say that all women are empathetic or relationship oriented (many are not). However there is no reason why hard sci-fi can't have some depth of interaction between characters.

The final contributing factor to nerd misogyny is it's traditionalism. The majority of nerd culture is incredibly closed-minded, though it generally considers itself to be progressive in nature. There are two ways society labels a person progressive - if they have strong leftist opinions (to the exclusion of any other possibility), or in the willingness to entertain opposing or differing perspectives.

The problem is, many nerds think of themselves as progressive in one or both of these ways. Often, however, they are the exact opposite. Let's consider, many nerds consider themselves to be intelligent. However just because a person is intelligent does not mean they are capable of entertaining different perspectives. Intelligence does not require a person be willing to change. And if a person is stupid, good luck trying to figure out the trigger that inspires change.

So yes, nerds may be comfortable entertaining quantum physics theories, and exploring the development from a given comic of 1953 to one of the present, but this does not mean nerds are progressive. In fact, the development of many of the stories so popular in nerd culture is steeped in ancient myths as well as superheros created when Donna Reed was still a "good" idea. Traditional, for the nerd, is in.

There is always a hero - the hero always saves the day. Ideas of chivalry and dominance hierarchies are alive and well. Of course those two heavy weights bring associated gender identities. As we might suspect, women are to be saved, sexed, and set aside (either left in the tavern down the road, or protected by being sequestered in a fortress). It's enough to make this woman want a claymore.

There are many reasons why nerd culture is misogynist, and therefore, we need to attack this belief from a variety of angles. This is one of the reasons why I am so committed to writing the types of stories that I do. I wanted to create things that were "female friendly" - stories that encourage a different perception of women. But a few writers creating stories with different depictions of women is not enough - first and foremost, we need a broader recognition of the incredible misogynist tendencies of nerd culture. Once this is recognized, we can address it on a broad scale in such a way that it can be changed.

After all, the first step is recognizing we even have a problem. How else can we get to step two?

Everything I Learned About Japan, I Learned From Anime

Okay, that's not exactly true, but it certainly helped. The truth is that when my husband suggested I watch a few animes, I was skeptical. To be completely honest, I haven't had a very high opinion of genre in general. Many of the storylines that I've been exposed to (such as Akira or Ghost in the Shell) have been distinctly marketed to boys. Truthfully, I'm not interested in those kinds of stories, and frankly, they bore me.

So when my husband told me to watch InuYasha, I looked at him like he had five heads and eight arms.

After episode one, I thought I might watch more. And I did - all 167 episodes and then the subsequent Final Act series.

My nerd friends who are deeply steeped in nerd culture will roll their eyes and protest my "bad taste," recommending other animes in an effort to get me to appreciate things like Akira. Yeah, that ain't happening (outside of appreciating the art involved anyway - sorry guys).

The reason is that animes like InuYasha are marketed to women. They aren't just about blowing things up or some weird mech heads fighting each other to save some vampire-zombie sci-fi future. InuYasha has highly developed characters that have complex relationships with one another. If a person wanted to learn about romantic relationships in Japanese culture, InuYasha would be a good place to start. It clarified a piece of my own past.

That might sound bizarre, that I had some kind of existential revelation through a popular girly anime, but it's true. When I was in college, I had a big crush on this Japanese exchange student. We hung out together quite frequently. We even danced together at different parties and events. At some point, he actually asked me, point blank, "Alexis, would you like to be my girlfriend?"

I was psyched. After all, I had been crushing on him for some time. Of course, it didn't work out quite how I expected. Nothing happened. We didn't hold hands. He didn't kiss me. Nothing changed at all. Then, slowly, we stopped hanging out. It was very confusing and strange to me. With time, I forgot all about it - until I watched InuYasha.

The tension created between the characters was tremendous. The lack of release - of touch and even explicit confessions of love - was frustrating, and kept me watching the show. It was some time early in the series that I realized I had missed something with my undergrad Japanese boyfriend.

So I researched dating in Japanese culture. There are actually levels of closeness. It's a long drawn out process, each level having associated actions. The extreme self-control, and imposed denial of affectionate displays boggled my mind. It was a cultural difference I had completely missed, and frankly never expected. That period of time in college would have remained a mystery had I not been prodded into realization by a girl-centric popularly accessible anime.

I didn't just learn about Japanese dating culture from InuYasha. There were other relationship dynamics that were clarified by the show that I never would have known. These general trends seem to be supported by watching other animes (Yes, I know this is just one cultural expression and therefore limited, but we can't say there isn't some truth there.).

For the average Westerner, it seems watching a little anime is a good way to become introduced to those cultural differences of Japan. If living in California, it might even shed some light on the culture of the coast. In either case, it's worth at least one episode. But be warned - you might watch more.

BAMBOO! My New Toy, I mean, Wacom Tablet

I'm really excited about my new toy. You might wonder, how am I able to get such a new toy? Well, let's start at the beginning.

We bank with Chase. This is mostly because Washington Mutual folded and was swallowed by Chase, so we kept our accounts there for convenience, among other things. My husband has a reward card - so whenever we use his card, we get points. Normally I would think these things would only result in Skymall type purchases, but so far we've gotten a few fun things.

For example, we got an awesome water dispenser for our cat. Okay, this sounds like a skymall thing, but supposedly cats like running water more than water from a dish. It's also supposed to be healthier - or so they say. In any case, we thought we were getting a little one. We ended up getting the biggest water dispenser I've ever seen in my life for free. Normally it would be around $50, but again, we got it for free.

Well, it had been a while since we had taken advantage of our points. So Christian decided to check out what options we had as far as redemption. Turns out Chase had upgraded their rewards program, so now, you can go through a bunch of different vendors to get fun gadgets etc. Well, after browsing through the bagillion options, we decided to look at tablets.

It was something I had been wanting for some time because drawing with your finger on a touchpad just isn't the same as having a stylus in your hand. You don't have the same kind of control as you would if you had a stylus or a pencil. Being the artist I am, it was frustrating to try to make graphics without this.

Turned out, I could get a Bamboo using my reward points. So I ended up getting a pen/touch for free. The thing is the size of my netbook, which is kind of weird, but it is certainly big enough to get the job done, and small enough that I could take it with me if I wanted to. For the moment however, I am waiting. My current kernel of Ubuntu isn't working with the beautiful toy, though the later version that is on our media PC does. Just a little while longer and the new kernel comes out. When that happens, I'll update and start playing with my new toy. This will mean I will probably do a few comics (woohoo!) and will possibly do some graphics for shirts etc.

Of course, I'll also do some concept art for The Khloe Alwell Series....that goes without saying. :-)

Fighting for Women - Cultural Voices for Women Being Human

I read an interesting blog post by an author that got me thinking about the role of women in America and their struggles culturally and politically. Some people think that women have everything they need these days, but of course, those people are usually men and have no idea what they're talking about. 

Having been raised by a strong woman and a supportive man, I didn't think there was really anything I couldn't do for many years. I was sheltered. I thought things were based on my talents and skills, or even my appearance (i.e. presentation). Intellectually I knew there was still a boys club - I had heard about such things - but I had never experienced it. It wasn't until I was in college that I truly realized there still were boys clubs. For example, I was the only woman to complete a senior thesis in my department. I ended up being able to break into the boys club with other departments at parties by smoking cigars with the rest of the guys. It's not necessarily something I would recommend, but I did it. It made things easier for me. And I was the only woman to do so. Those men weren't particularly sexist, but they weren't helping to create a feeling of inclusion.

The most insidious sexism is that which is not overt - the little things, even by men who would otherwise not be considered sexist. The fact that women just *don't* participate in a certain area or job is enough to facilitate sexist practices. I worked at a company in a division that serviced military members and there were many more men than women. In a leadership position there, I had to be extra tough in order to be respected. I also had to really know my stuff. It was annoying to have that extra stress, and I am sure I was called many names behind my back. Social outings were rare within the division because it was so male dominated and you weren't going to find me going to a Hooters - EVER. So I spent time with other, more inclusive people from the company.

Those little things that add up, and are in some ways, more acceptable to discuss and protest. At least, they're easier, even if a man may deny the situation. Less acceptable is discussions of things like the definition of sexual assault, let alone reporting an incident. Women are sexually assaulted all the time, but it doesn't mean they're raped. Sexual assault is belittled because it is not "rape" but it can have just as lasting of an emotional, physical, and mental trauma for the victim as rape. It's one of the reasons why it is discussed in my book, The Brothers. I wanted to provide an avenue to at least bridge the subject, even though it is not the central theme of the book.

Media like the show being rolled out by NBC, so much music, video games, and even comic books, portraying women in particular shapes and situations encourages sexist behaviors in men (and women!) and can even lead to more dangerous behaviors - like total disrespect and dehumanization of women. When that happens, it is easy to see how women would be sexually assaulted, physically assaulted, or raped. When a woman is no longer a person, it is easy to make laws that strip away her rights, benefit a male dominated society, and hurt the woman.

More than ever, as a writer, I feel compelled to create strong female characters. Yes, they can be sexy - but they are sexy not because they're pretty. They're sexy because they're strong, smart, and talented. They give their supporting male characters a run for their money. I must write them. If I don't contribute to changing the cultural direction of my society, then I'm probably not doing my job. Maybe someone reading about Khloe will think, "Yeah, I'm female. I'm awesome. I can make the world a better place too!"

That would be the bee's knees.

Walking E.M.P. 2

Walking E.M.P. 1

This is my first time ever trying this... so I put it out there hoping to be seen with a grain of salt.

Foray into Comics

Besides getting sick again, the last few days I've been thinking of ways to stave off boredom.  Fortunately for Christmas my parents gave me a few canvas paper pads which I broke out (once I get around to photographing them I'll put them up here). 

Since Christian and I started dating, he's gotten me into the world of web comics.  The most classic (for a whole bunch of reasons) being Penny Arcade.  It was only recently that I thought, "Hey, I could write/draw comics." but it was only in the last couple days that I really started thinking about what I would draw, and what I would say.  Yesterday I finally started drawing and writing.  Seeing as I have limited resources, the process is slow. 

Hopefully in a few days I'll post the first one. :-)

Renaissance Girls Rock

Recently I've become a fan of Jennifer Love Hewitt.  This might seem kind of weird, but it makes perfect sense.  Here's my case with supporting evidence.

1. Jennifer is the star of Ghost Whisperer, some episodes she wrote as well as directed and/or produced.  Ghost Whisperer combines drama, the paranormal, and fabulous vintage style clothes all in one.  Plus, the main characters are primarily brunettes (which I always like because there are too many blondes in Hollywood).
2. She has written a produced multiple music albums which have been successful over seas, if not here.
3. Jennifer has also been successful as a star in major motion pictures (even if I didn't like many of them) such as I know what you did, Can't Hardly Wait and Heart Breakers.
4. As if that wasn't enough, she's written, produced, directed and starred in numerous made for TV movies.
5. PLUS she created the Music Box comic book.  WHAT?!

That is the reason I am a fan.  It's not the crazy actual fanatic style fan where I want everything to be JLH all the time.  No, that would be crazy and scary and might inspire restraining orders.  No, I'm a fan because so few people can cross genres and products and be successful in them.  Ms. Hewitt has done just that.  She is the quintessential Media Celebrity Renaissance Woman.  Of course there are others who are able to be in Broadway musicals and TV or movies, but Jennifer has written and directed AND produced things.  Many have won awards.  She just keeps going and pushing boundaries and trying new things. Maybe it is the genius of her branding, or her stunning figure, or her sweet smile that encourages this type of cross media success.  I'm inclined to think she's just got the business smarts and the talent.  This is a rare combination of gifts.

Why would I devote all this time to discussing Ms. Hewitt? Well, ever since I read about Leonardo Da Vinci and the concept of the Renaissance Man, I wanted to be a Renaissance Woman.  I wanted to be able to cross talents and boundaries and be successful in all of them.  It has always been at the back of my mind.  Yes many people are excellent at one thing, or a couple of things, but what about five or six? Can you dance, sing, act, paint, speak publicly, write, and be an economic powerhouse? If the answer is yes, you have definitely graduated into Renaissance Legend status.

Necessarily I found the Japanese female equivalent intriguing, the Geisha.  Of course, the idea of having a contract and being sold seemed a little, well, Vegas. But the concept behind the perfect finished piece of living breathing artwork in a woman's body was intoxicating.  Perhaps this is the reason I am beginning to give air time to these long forgotten ideas in my head.  Suddenly it seems reasonable to be able to write books, model, write and sing songs, and sell my paintings.  It seems achievable to own several businesses and start several non-profits while doing all these other things.  Suddenly political clout seems within reach.  The possibilities seem endless.  Now, Jennifer Love Hewitt may not be all of those things, but she is a symbol of the potentialities of such things.  She is a symbol of my potential, and the visions I have of myself in years to come.  For that I thank her because every time I see her on TV it makes me think of what I need to do for myself to be successful in my goals.  So, Love, cheers!

Outed! Frickin Dorktastic.

I didn't expect to ever like a comic (when I say comic I mean graphic novel).  Seriously.  I say this and my husband is an avid online comic reader.  He reads Dr. McNinja, A Softer World, xkcd, Diesel Sweeties, Sinfest, Questionable Content, PVP, Sam and Fuzzy, and Penny Arcade religiously. I periodically get updates about characters and situations for which I have little or no background knowledge.  That isn't to say I don't appreciate the one pager every now and again, I just don't seek the things out.

*ominous music plays*

So yesterday we go to Davis to hang out with a few friends (the guy Greg is a friend of Christian's from forever).  We try different brewed beverages and play fruity board games (read: Apples 2 Apples).  Lea, gives me a graphic novel to read to get into this series of comics.  Now, I can't say I was actually happy about it at the time.  I was slightly confused and genuinely skeptical.  After all, I'm the type of person who sometimes reads news articles, and mostly reads fantastical re-imaginings of Jane Austen story lines. What could a graphic novel hold for me?

And here Lea, is where I hate you.  I hate you so good because FABLES is freaking FANTASTIC! I may have become addicted.  It was only 1001 Nights of Snowfall, so I have to somehow get a hold of the volumes in the main story line, but still.  Brilliant. 

I have this horrible set of vices involving fantasy, epics, magic, and the paranormal.  It is everything that "classic dorks" are labeled to have.  I can't help it.  Anything that comes into movie form and has an epic story line (in the traditional nearly Homeric fashion) I have to see it in the theater.  Everything that has werewolves, vampires, or some other type of immortal I have to at least review (because let's face it, they tend to have the shittiest of the story lines as well as production and if you make one too many poor movie selections, you won't find anyone to see them with you).

In book form I am a little more discerning because there are more options from which to choose, but still I am guilty there as well. I own all the Harry Potter books (they're better than the movies, though the movies aren't bad). I read through most of the Pern Series.  I tried to read Tolkien but I got tired of all the male centric writing so I had to scratch the effort on Two Towers.  C.S. Lewis, Lloyd Alexander, and Madeleine L'Engle are special people close to my heart. Xanth occupied much of my young adult mind.  Friends even bought me back story books like certain world's encyclopedias or short story volumes explaining the decade breaks between books within a series.

But I never wore a Ren costume.  I never went to any kind of festival where out dorks would cavort with one another (thus far - though I have long wanted to attend a comic-con for the sociological experience it would offer me). For the most part, I was a closet case, and even then, I passed for just about everything else, betrayed only by the occasional Halloween costume choice or veiled reference to a series.  But Lea caught on instantly.  Maybe I gave her a secret handshake without knowing it.  Maybe I wasn't as closeted as I thought.

But damn it girl, you outed me, if only through inspiring me to confess my dorktasticness to everyone else.  Well done.  Hit acknowledged. *grin*