Toast. Dust. Done. Dead. Kicked.
Yes, that is my phone, well more appropriately, bricked.
When I was younger I wanted to have super powers. It's a fairly common phenomenon for young children growing up around comic books and their cartoon renditions to want to be like their favorite protagonists. But of course, then it happens and really it's more of an inconvenience than anything.
Jokingly, I call it my superpower. When my emotions get riled, no matter what direction - enraged or ecstatic - I break things. I'm not saying I go through some wild manic expression or a rage where I physically take things and throw them on the floor. No. I never do that. I hate cleaning up messes made for no reason. No, I actually cause computers, tech, and even the occassional mechanical item to spazz out.
Most people reading this will get that look of disbelief on their face thinking I'm crazy, except of course, its true. I've broken the dishwasher, the toaster oven, computers, cell phones, and gaming systems. The more fragile the thing is, the more likely I will cause it problems. So the older computer models and smartphones, the more likely it is that I will actually break it. There have been times I've walked into the room and my presence makes a computer crash. If I really didn't want to play a game, a gaming system would stop working. If I get frustrated with Google Maps on my phone, suddenly it freezes. That is my life.
I tell people and they don't believe me, until they see it. And then they realize I'm for real. And of course, it's hereditary... but I don't think anyone knew of my mom's awesome abilities. She just thinks of herself as a ludite. But of course, she's not just a ludite. She's electric.
There are other perks I get for having this weird energy, but I don't really have control over any of them. And its worse when I'm exhausted.
This leads me to my present state - or rather, my phone's. Yesterday I worked solidly all day unpacking, cleaning, and following other domestic pursuits. Needless to say, by the end of the day, I was totally loopy. And then I wanted to space. So I played Trefoil on my phone until it stopped registering my fingers on the touchscreen. At first I didn't realize what was happening. My fingers don't always register on the touchscreen. Sometimes it takes me three or four times for any touchscreen to catch what I'm asking it to do. But of course, this time, even the solid menu button on my faithful G1 wouldn't cause a menu to come up. So I had Christian touch the phone.
This sounds superstitious, but as much as I break tech, Christian can cajole it into action, which is fortunate for me, otherwise I think I'd be relegated to a rotary phone and a day-planner.
Unfortunately, even after messing with it for a while, Christian was unable to breathe life into my little friend. Radio silence. This after having no internet (with the exception now of my hubby's rooted G1 tether app) was a little too much. When I woke up in the middle of the night and reached for my little black box, it wasn't there. I itched like an addict for her drug.
It's ironic that I, with all my electro-magnetic super powers of destruction, would be addicted to my smartphone, but of course, I am. Just like I've become dependent on the internet and my little Ubuntu sporting netbook, I am dependent on my personal mobile communicator.
In this spirit, I ask, what is the best most solid resettable phone you can think of? It must have a keypad for those times when the touchscreen won't take my fingers. Mechanical is always better than high tech when it comes to my special skills...
Showing posts with label addiction. Show all posts
Showing posts with label addiction. Show all posts
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Thursday, April 7, 2011
You Are What You Eat - Step 2 of Physically Awesome
You are what you eat.
Your body is a temple.
The body never lies.
There are more sayings relating to the human body, but these are the ones that stand out the most to me. Like most sayings, they are true. You can't fool someone into thinking you're fit when you're not - whether you're a bag of bones, a beached whale, or anything in between.
Yes, its true that everyone's body is different. Yes it is also true that different bodies respond to things differently - food as well as exercise. Thing is, the processes are still the same. You still have to eat balanced meals and you still have to strength train and do cardio. You can't get out of it. And the reality is, it doesn't matter where you start, what your genes are, or how bad your habits are - you can still get physically fit. If you want something badly enough, it will happen. You just have to focus on making it a reality.
I'm telling myself this after doing a strength training session focused on legs, interval training for 30 minutes, and 15 minutes of stretching. If someone would have told me four years ago this would be a regular thing for me, I would have laughed. Of course now, I have a workout journal that I take great pleasure in using to record my daily progress. I also have a blaringly large set of goals with corresponding pictures on my goal board that I look at daily. There's no getting around it. Fitness is a part of my daily life, and I love it. Still, I have a ways to go when it comes to eating. That's the next thing I have to pick apart.
Everything I've read says to take things one step at a time when it comes to changing your life. So far I've got the workouts in hand, even the cardio and the stretching. Now I just need to make sure I'm eating 5-7 meals a day. From everything I've read, my protein grams need to match my goal weight in order to build lean muscle mass. That is definitely something I haven't been very good about. So I've been checking out different eating plans of fitness models in order to gauge where my food intake needs to be. Ultimately, the goal is to have a fitness model physique so it makes sense that I would consider what successful fitness models have done in order to achieve their fitness goals. Chiefly I've been looking at those with similar body types to mine (height and frame) because all frames are not created equal. It wouldn't make sense for me to eat the same as a 5'2 East Asian man.
Needless to say, it's a tedious process and one for which my journal
doesn't work well. The space for food intake is only six lines, whereas the workout portion is 75% of the total daily entry page (it should be noted that I like it for the workout portion). As for food intake, I've tried applications on my phone, but I find it irritating. This is because it takes 15 times longer for me to enter food items in my phone than if I wrote them down. I'm just not sure what the best route is to get from where I am to where I want to be when it comes to food.
Then of course, there is the realm of the supplement. I have mixed feelings about supplements. They're... well... odd. The idea that you can't get what you need from eating regular well balanced meals seems strange. Of course, like all American innovations in this post-industrial age, supplements are more efficient and effective at getting you to a specific goal. So, do I forgo the philosophy that I should be able to eat my way to awesome? Or should I just bite the bullet and start ingesting creatine every day? I'm beginning to think I should go for it because of the positive effects it apparently has. Fitness models seem hooked on the stuff. And after all, the body never lies and you are what you eat - even if its supplements.
The point is, I have to do something about my eating habits. I also have to continue with my current workout regime which is clearly having some positive effects (I can see my muscles moving more clearly during basic everyday movement and I have much more tone than I did previously). You can't get away with just exercising or eating well. You have to do them both. The sacrifices you make by eliminating things like brownie fudge sundaes and blooming onions are more than made up for by your new found energy levels, your overall better mood, and just generally feeling good.
Even a couple months ago I would have said, I like eating donuts. Now, just thinking about it makes reminds me of how it spikes my blood sugar and makes me crash later in the day. Ick! Give me my protein shake or my yogurt and grape nuts pulease!
Your body is a temple.
The body never lies.
There are more sayings relating to the human body, but these are the ones that stand out the most to me. Like most sayings, they are true. You can't fool someone into thinking you're fit when you're not - whether you're a bag of bones, a beached whale, or anything in between.
Yes, its true that everyone's body is different. Yes it is also true that different bodies respond to things differently - food as well as exercise. Thing is, the processes are still the same. You still have to eat balanced meals and you still have to strength train and do cardio. You can't get out of it. And the reality is, it doesn't matter where you start, what your genes are, or how bad your habits are - you can still get physically fit. If you want something badly enough, it will happen. You just have to focus on making it a reality.
I'm telling myself this after doing a strength training session focused on legs, interval training for 30 minutes, and 15 minutes of stretching. If someone would have told me four years ago this would be a regular thing for me, I would have laughed. Of course now, I have a workout journal that I take great pleasure in using to record my daily progress. I also have a blaringly large set of goals with corresponding pictures on my goal board that I look at daily. There's no getting around it. Fitness is a part of my daily life, and I love it. Still, I have a ways to go when it comes to eating. That's the next thing I have to pick apart.
Everything I've read says to take things one step at a time when it comes to changing your life. So far I've got the workouts in hand, even the cardio and the stretching. Now I just need to make sure I'm eating 5-7 meals a day. From everything I've read, my protein grams need to match my goal weight in order to build lean muscle mass. That is definitely something I haven't been very good about. So I've been checking out different eating plans of fitness models in order to gauge where my food intake needs to be. Ultimately, the goal is to have a fitness model physique so it makes sense that I would consider what successful fitness models have done in order to achieve their fitness goals. Chiefly I've been looking at those with similar body types to mine (height and frame) because all frames are not created equal. It wouldn't make sense for me to eat the same as a 5'2 East Asian man.
Needless to say, it's a tedious process and one for which my journal
doesn't work well. The space for food intake is only six lines, whereas the workout portion is 75% of the total daily entry page (it should be noted that I like it for the workout portion). As for food intake, I've tried applications on my phone, but I find it irritating. This is because it takes 15 times longer for me to enter food items in my phone than if I wrote them down. I'm just not sure what the best route is to get from where I am to where I want to be when it comes to food. Then of course, there is the realm of the supplement. I have mixed feelings about supplements. They're... well... odd. The idea that you can't get what you need from eating regular well balanced meals seems strange. Of course, like all American innovations in this post-industrial age, supplements are more efficient and effective at getting you to a specific goal. So, do I forgo the philosophy that I should be able to eat my way to awesome? Or should I just bite the bullet and start ingesting creatine every day? I'm beginning to think I should go for it because of the positive effects it apparently has. Fitness models seem hooked on the stuff. And after all, the body never lies and you are what you eat - even if its supplements.
The point is, I have to do something about my eating habits. I also have to continue with my current workout regime which is clearly having some positive effects (I can see my muscles moving more clearly during basic everyday movement and I have much more tone than I did previously). You can't get away with just exercising or eating well. You have to do them both. The sacrifices you make by eliminating things like brownie fudge sundaes and blooming onions are more than made up for by your new found energy levels, your overall better mood, and just generally feeling good.
Even a couple months ago I would have said, I like eating donuts. Now, just thinking about it makes reminds me of how it spikes my blood sugar and makes me crash later in the day. Ick! Give me my protein shake or my yogurt and grape nuts pulease!
Friday, January 14, 2011
Net Neutrality - The Media Fight
Maybe it has something to do with the collection being well, so incredibly limited in genres that I find interesting. Maybe it has to do with the fact that the majority of the books are quite outdated and showing their wear (I know, you can't judge a book by its cover but I am a visual person and frayed edges with dirty smudges really puts me off of something.). It could also have to do with the fact that I have Netflix that fills my time (going through Nova, PBS, and National Geographic specials is fun for me - I know I'm a dork.). That is probably the biggest culprit, the advent of the instant stream. Instead of having to wait for a week or months to see the next episode of a series, I get to watch it right in a row. I can have addictive marathon
after marathon
and no one is the wiser (except Christian, poor bloke). I have mixed feelings about the accessibility of shows on Netflix. While my bad habit is coming to an end (because there simply aren't enough series available on instant play to whet my appetite) it could have been on-going. Cable generally puts me off if I end up having to watch something other than what I want or wait, I simply turn it off completely and pick up a book. This result would be bad for the production company no matter what - no money could be made through cable or Netflix.
Oh, I remember! Corporate greed!
It goes back to resource control. In this, I have to say, I am a bit of a social anarchist. I think the internet should be free. Total net neutrality. Call me a rebel, say I belong with Emma Goldman, but it's true. One of the things that is so critical to our world today is the free flow of information. Put a stopper in that and all kinds of things crop up.
Monday, January 10, 2011
Doctor Who - You Always Remember Your First Doctor
and Angel
(thank GOD... they were getting way too depressing) and on to something a little lighter and a bit more British. Yes, I have been converted to the amazing, the spectacular, the campy DOCTOR WHO.It's true that Doctor Who
is a bit campy
, and certainly is incredibly British in its humor. If you can handle some cheesy costumes and love it when a show makes fun of itself and references earlier episodes as well as much earlier versions of the show, then this sci-fi wonder is for you. In short, it is my version of AWESOME television. Thank you Great Britain for once again being well, great.
) and I love the emo-hipster hair, converse, and three piece brightly colored suits, I don't know how I will feel when I finally get acquainted with Matt Smith. But that's the thing about Doctor Who, you can't really get attached because this is a dynasty. It is bigger than any single actor. Companions come and go, doctors come and go, enemies go and come back to life or respawn from the howling abyss of the Void and still, you have the Tardis. Still you have the cheeky fast quips of the doctor. He will always save the day (in some way, even if it's backhanded) and you will always love him for it.
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Goal Boards, Kismet
There are certain things we all go through. When I woke up this morning, I was fully expecting it to be another dreary wallowing in self-pity day. Perhaps it would be just another day to take up the escapist mantel and continue with my current television addiction. Instead, today took a slight turn for the get up and go. Inertia - it's something we all need but very few are able to sustain for any length of time. I had been using the inertia from writing The Brothers and it had burnt out, and like a roller coaster, I needed more "clackety-clacketys" to get up another steep hill. Without them, I was stuck, wallowing at the bottom. It's been my temporary home for several months. But today something changed.
Maybe it was the devotion book
I started reading. Maybe it was the fact that I got out of the house for longer than the five minutes it takes to walk to the mail box and back or move the laundry from the washer to the dryer. Maybe it was the fact I got to talk to a friend, just woman to woman, drinking warm comforting beverages and eating pastries. It could have been all these things. All I know is that today two things happened. One, my friend mentioned something that resonated with me which hasn't happened in a long, long time. And two, I had a realization. Let me first go back to what happened with my friend.
She talked about a book her mother lent her. The book states that people learn ways to deal with things early in their lives and these reactions to stimuli become second nature. However, it is possible to detach oneself from these reactions, observe them and change them if you would like. It goes on to suggest that often times, learned reactions can take us further away from things we want. For example, if you are afraid of failure, and you never try because you don't want to fail, you can also never succeed because you never tried.
It reminded me of the goal board
I have waiting to be hung on my wall, waiting to be re-vamped, re-imagined and regularly reviewed. It also got me thinking about the person I have become, the changes in me over the last ten years. I am not who I was when I was eighteen. I have morphed over and over again. Some might even say I've been reincarnated, pulled apart and pieced back together in some strange surreal cubist version of myself. What do I want now? Have these things changed significantly since I last made my board? I know some things I got, and some I still need to work on, but are there other things I want more? Different? I need to spend some serious time considering this.
Most people don't know what they want. You can't build inertia to go anywhere if you don't know where you want to go. I feel like I've been flailing my arms around for a few months waiting for something to hit me, strike me, or make me cling to something when I should have been centering myself to listen to my heart of hearts for whatever it is that I want. Smart one, Alexis. Good job! You're a genius! Instead, I went into one of my darker funks and freaked out the majority of the time when I wasn't watching some Netflix TV series or writing frantically (P.S. Still waiting for my book to come back from first look over. I'll update you as changes occur.).
After coffee, we came back to my house, played Scrabble, and then went for Chinese. After dinner, we got the customary fortune cookies and mine said I should linger over conversations because I would get good advice from them. While I don't generally think that fortune cookies are the source of all wisdom in the universe, I do think that things in the world are used as instruments by outside forces, and that could be through a person, a song, a TV show, or a fortune cookie. Good advice should always be heeded, even if it comes from an unexpected source. The fact that the fortune in the cookie seemed to echo the importance of what my friend said made me wonder. Maybe it was just me getting myself off track. Maybe I just needed some more people in my life to keep me working at the things I want, figuring out things, carving out my place in the world - all of it.
It seemed to be kismet. Serendipity. I had been looking for something to pull me back and there it was, a gentle nudge. Thank GOD!
Just so you know, Divine Forces, you are super slow. Don't you know I'm incredibly impatient? I totally needed this at least two months ago! Seriously?! Oy.
. Instead, today took a slight turn for the get up and go. Inertia - it's something we all need but very few are able to sustain for any length of time. I had been using the inertia from writing The Brothers and it had burnt out, and like a roller coaster, I needed more "clackety-clacketys" to get up another steep hill. Without them, I was stuck, wallowing at the bottom. It's been my temporary home for several months. But today something changed.Maybe it was the devotion book
I started reading. Maybe it was the fact that I got out of the house for longer than the five minutes it takes to walk to the mail box and back or move the laundry from the washer to the dryer. Maybe it was the fact I got to talk to a friend, just woman to woman, drinking warm comforting beverages and eating pastries. It could have been all these things. All I know is that today two things happened. One, my friend mentioned something that resonated with me which hasn't happened in a long, long time. And two, I had a realization. Let me first go back to what happened with my friend.She talked about a book her mother lent her. The book states that people learn ways to deal with things early in their lives and these reactions to stimuli become second nature. However, it is possible to detach oneself from these reactions, observe them and change them if you would like. It goes on to suggest that often times, learned reactions can take us further away from things we want. For example, if you are afraid of failure, and you never try because you don't want to fail, you can also never succeed because you never tried.
It reminded me of the goal board
I have waiting to be hung on my wall, waiting to be re-vamped, re-imagined and regularly reviewed. It also got me thinking about the person I have become, the changes in me over the last ten years. I am not who I was when I was eighteen. I have morphed over and over again. Some might even say I've been reincarnated, pulled apart and pieced back together in some strange surreal cubist version of myself. What do I want now? Have these things changed significantly since I last made my board? I know some things I got, and some I still need to work on, but are there other things I want more? Different? I need to spend some serious time considering this.Most people don't know what they want. You can't build inertia to go anywhere if you don't know where you want to go. I feel like I've been flailing my arms around for a few months waiting for something to hit me, strike me, or make me cling to something when I should have been centering myself to listen to my heart of hearts for whatever it is that I want. Smart one, Alexis. Good job! You're a genius! Instead, I went into one of my darker funks and freaked out the majority of the time when I wasn't watching some Netflix TV series or writing frantically (P.S. Still waiting for my book to come back from first look over. I'll update you as changes occur.).
After coffee, we came back to my house, played Scrabble, and then went for Chinese. After dinner, we got the customary fortune cookies and mine said I should linger over conversations because I would get good advice from them. While I don't generally think that fortune cookies are the source of all wisdom in the universe, I do think that things in the world are used as instruments by outside forces, and that could be through a person, a song, a TV show, or a fortune cookie. Good advice should always be heeded, even if it comes from an unexpected source. The fact that the fortune in the cookie seemed to echo the importance of what my friend said made me wonder. Maybe it was just me getting myself off track. Maybe I just needed some more people in my life to keep me working at the things I want, figuring out things, carving out my place in the world - all of it.
It seemed to be kismet. Serendipity. I had been looking for something to pull me back and there it was, a gentle nudge. Thank GOD!
Just so you know, Divine Forces, you are super slow. Don't you know I'm incredibly impatient? I totally needed this at least two months ago! Seriously?! Oy.
Friday, December 3, 2010
Empress Hotel - Free Showing at the Piedmont
Last night we went to the Piedmont Theatre to see a free showing of Empress Hotel sponsored by the non-profit EveryOne Home. The theater was packed with people attending in anywhere from jeans and t-shirts to full on business wear, all being sufficiently helped by a flock volunteers. Free popcorn and soda was given to everyone attending by some cheerful guys behind the concession counter.
Once inside the theater we were greeted immediately by an usher who quickly found us two seats together. Before the movie started, they gave out prizes and thanked a number of their funders as well as the venue.
As expected, the documentary was low budget, but it brought to light something that is both profoundly depressing and hopeful simultaneously. I was fully prepared to be either really sad or really angry, instead, I left feeling better about the world because people who run the Empress Hotel exist. Yes, the stories of the residents who live in the low income hotel were sad. You wonder about how their parents could have done the things they did, or the downward spirals that led them to become homeless or addicted to crack or heroin. Yet, some of them were able to find the Empress and take advantage of the services available to them. Health services, activities, free food markets, and a general sense of support and community were being fostered in the heart of the Tenderloin. It was something that was incredibly uplifting. At least there are places like this that exist. At least there are people in the world doing good things like this, helping each other, and making the world a better place.
Thank you EveryOne Home for putting on a great movie that showcases the good work going on in the Bay Area to end homelessness. It's so important that people are aware of the complexities of the problem (from mental illness to just a series of myopic choices leaving people jobless to serious drug addiction) and that there is hope. There is always hope.
Once inside the theater we were greeted immediately by an usher who quickly found us two seats together. Before the movie started, they gave out prizes and thanked a number of their funders as well as the venue.
As expected, the documentary was low budget, but it brought to light something that is both profoundly depressing and hopeful simultaneously. I was fully prepared to be either really sad or really angry, instead, I left feeling better about the world because people who run the Empress Hotel exist. Yes, the stories of the residents who live in the low income hotel were sad. You wonder about how their parents could have done the things they did, or the downward spirals that led them to become homeless or addicted to crack or heroin. Yet, some of them were able to find the Empress and take advantage of the services available to them. Health services, activities, free food markets, and a general sense of support and community were being fostered in the heart of the Tenderloin. It was something that was incredibly uplifting. At least there are places like this that exist. At least there are people in the world doing good things like this, helping each other, and making the world a better place.
Thank you EveryOne Home for putting on a great movie that showcases the good work going on in the Bay Area to end homelessness. It's so important that people are aware of the complexities of the problem (from mental illness to just a series of myopic choices leaving people jobless to serious drug addiction) and that there is hope. There is always hope.
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
My Spike
Well I finished the series. Buffy that is. I am so disappointed. If you haven't seen it, don't read the rest of this - ****SPOILER ALERT****- because I'm going to talk about the end of season 7. I can't help it. It so irritated me.
I have a confession. Both Riley and Angel bored me. They had no personality, well unless you count Angel's evil alter ego... woohoo! Yeah, neither guy was very interesting. They were blank. My absolute favorite character of the entire series, yes, you guessed it, the man in the long dark trench. Sigh. And of course, of COURSE he had to die at the end. Seriously? I mean I understand. I know. It was bound to happen. But really guys? Can't the awesome guy get the girl in the end? Oh wait, this wasn't that kind of story. This was a female empowerment story where the girls rock on and save the day after having conquered every possible issue that a girl has to face during their adolescent life. It has nothing to do with love or sex or anything remotely like lust. Oh nooooooo. Never. Never.
Look, I've got news. I really liked Spike. From the moment he was introduced as a bad-ass with his first crazy girl friend, I liked him. He had balls, a swagger, cheeky Britishisms, an intense stare, and amazing abdominals with pecs to match. What's not to love? Oh, well the peroxide hair. Yes, that was a little... weird. Having never read the comic but knowing how comics go, I'm assuming that carried over. Sad. But still, the character was the best. THE best. I'm still in a state of shock having watched his on-screen redemption. Damn it! I didn't even like Buffy. She was such a whiner. I hate whiners. That's why I hate Bella from the Twilight
series, whining. Always whining.
Of course, my second favorite character ALSO kicked it at the end of season 7. Damn it! And she was the one I identified with - Anya, the crazy no filter speak the truth like a blunt axe ex-she-demon. Yes, she was my kind of girl. Even if she did want to marry the campy and sarcastic male sidekick Mr. Harris. Whatever. She was cool. She didn't whine, she just told it how it was and when necessary, got even. It's the kind of thing a girl can respect, even if you don't necessarily agree with it. Plus, who didn't love the fact that bunnies scared her more than anything else in the world? Bunnies?! Love it. Absolutely love it. Right after Spike. Sigh.
When I was younger, maybe I would have liked the other characters. Maybe I would have dug Buffy. No, who's kidding? Most of the time I wanted to slap her, just like I do most people who can't make up their minds. There is something to sticking to your guns. Oh wait, no, that's EVERYTHING. After the time of discussion has passed, there is only your commitment to a thing. Go all the way, or don't go. There's no half way in life, not really. The sooner a person understands that the easier it is. You can't go back and forth wasting time, because if you do, in the end, you've made your decision. It is over before it's begun. All done. Curtains and last call at the bar all at once. A foregone conclusion. You went for the status quo. How lame is that?
So why would you still go for the person who is boring, who couldn't give you what you needed or anything remotely like it? If you're passing time, you may as well pass the time with someone who is awesome, who sees you for yourself. There is no point in passing time with someone else when you can have someone who is awesome. Believe me, I know.
Some people ask me why I got married or how I like marriage. They wonder why I married Christian, and I think anyone who doesn't know him think we're doomed to divorce because of our superficial differences. Of course, they don't know him. They don't know that in many ways, he's my Spike. He's my Jacob. He's more gangsta (to put it like a political talking head on BET once said of Joe Biden in the time running up to the 2008 election) than any man I know. And people wonder... and I had other offers. I even had a guy who was my 30 yr b'day pinkie swear marriage partner if nothing else worked out (a horrible idea, but he's a nice guy...and you know, the biological clock ticks).
Still people ask why. The answer is always the same. I married the man who is my best friend and the love of my life. He's an unusual guy. There's no question there at all. And sometimes, I really don't get the guy. Other times he pisses me off so much I am very tempted to break things like glasses, or possibly his arm. But when the chips fall, he is a rock. He puts up with all of my crazies, indecision, and self-doubt. He looks at me the way the main man looks at the leading lady in movies, and he means it from the bottom of his heart. He gave me a ring. We signed some papers and had a kick-ass party. Baby, that's commitment. That's sticking to your guns. What else could I say? He is my Spike. My Jacob. And I sleep next to him every night. Sweet!
Maybe that's why every time I see one of these shows and it ends with the man who makes me think of my husband NOT getting the girl I get so incredibly pissed off. It's the bad boy who is really a good boy at his soft chewy center that is so appealing, yet he is relegated to some mythical creature who resides in some kind of perpetual torment where it is impossible for him to win. Alright, they always write in some last minute thing to make sure the guy ends up having some sort of semi-sweet ending, but it leaves me feeling cheated. I mean really, "I feel my soul." "You never loved me, but thanks for saying it." WTF?!?! Seriously?!?! How retarded can you get?!?! Such a cop out! GRRR ARGH! Sigh.
Just once guys, someone, let the awesome guy get the girl. Not the guy without a personality. The guy who is awesome. Man, I think I have a calling....
series, whining. Always whining.Of course, my second favorite character ALSO kicked it at the end of season 7. Damn it! And she was the one I identified with - Anya, the crazy no filter speak the truth like a blunt axe ex-she-demon. Yes, she was my kind of girl. Even if she did want to marry the campy and sarcastic male sidekick Mr. Harris. Whatever. She was cool. She didn't whine, she just told it how it was and when necessary, got even. It's the kind of thing a girl can respect, even if you don't necessarily agree with it. Plus, who didn't love the fact that bunnies scared her more than anything else in the world? Bunnies?! Love it. Absolutely love it. Right after Spike. Sigh.
When I was younger, maybe I would have liked the other characters. Maybe I would have dug Buffy. No, who's kidding? Most of the time I wanted to slap her, just like I do most people who can't make up their minds. There is something to sticking to your guns. Oh wait, no, that's EVERYTHING. After the time of discussion has passed, there is only your commitment to a thing. Go all the way, or don't go. There's no half way in life, not really. The sooner a person understands that the easier it is. You can't go back and forth wasting time, because if you do, in the end, you've made your decision. It is over before it's begun. All done. Curtains and last call at the bar all at once. A foregone conclusion. You went for the status quo. How lame is that?
So why would you still go for the person who is boring, who couldn't give you what you needed or anything remotely like it? If you're passing time, you may as well pass the time with someone who is awesome, who sees you for yourself. There is no point in passing time with someone else when you can have someone who is awesome. Believe me, I know.
Some people ask me why I got married or how I like marriage. They wonder why I married Christian, and I think anyone who doesn't know him think we're doomed to divorce because of our superficial differences. Of course, they don't know him. They don't know that in many ways, he's my Spike. He's my Jacob. He's more gangsta (to put it like a political talking head on BET once said of Joe Biden in the time running up to the 2008 election) than any man I know. And people wonder... and I had other offers. I even had a guy who was my 30 yr b'day pinkie swear marriage partner if nothing else worked out (a horrible idea, but he's a nice guy...and you know, the biological clock ticks).
Still people ask why. The answer is always the same. I married the man who is my best friend and the love of my life. He's an unusual guy. There's no question there at all. And sometimes, I really don't get the guy. Other times he pisses me off so much I am very tempted to break things like glasses, or possibly his arm. But when the chips fall, he is a rock. He puts up with all of my crazies, indecision, and self-doubt. He looks at me the way the main man looks at the leading lady in movies, and he means it from the bottom of his heart. He gave me a ring. We signed some papers and had a kick-ass party. Baby, that's commitment. That's sticking to your guns. What else could I say? He is my Spike. My Jacob. And I sleep next to him every night. Sweet!
Maybe that's why every time I see one of these shows and it ends with the man who makes me think of my husband NOT getting the girl I get so incredibly pissed off. It's the bad boy who is really a good boy at his soft chewy center that is so appealing, yet he is relegated to some mythical creature who resides in some kind of perpetual torment where it is impossible for him to win. Alright, they always write in some last minute thing to make sure the guy ends up having some sort of semi-sweet ending, but it leaves me feeling cheated. I mean really, "I feel my soul." "You never loved me, but thanks for saying it." WTF?!?! Seriously?!?! How retarded can you get?!?! Such a cop out! GRRR ARGH! Sigh.
Just once guys, someone, let the awesome guy get the girl. Not the guy without a personality. The guy who is awesome. Man, I think I have a calling....
Monday, November 15, 2010
Break or Continue? The Ever Present Struggle
Lately there's been about fifteen billion things going on in my head. Not the least of these is the fact that I'm still effectively not contributing income, I still have a long way to go on the writing front, and I happen to be wallowing in the most minuscule of mundane tasks.
Since my writing conversation with my friend, I've been looking everywhere for ideas for short stories. I've come up with about three or four that I could put together in a heart beat. The problem is my computer, the lifeblood of my writing, the Excalibur to my Arthur, is also the vessel for my entertainment. It is the way I currently foster my burgeoning addiction to Buffy the Vampire Slayer (thank you Joss Whedon and my dear friend Amberjae! I owe you both such a great depth of gratitude for my non-stop Buffy marathon that has me pigging out on pumpkin pie and irritating my husband with its campy effects and silly phrases like 'wiggins' and 'smoochies'). So currently I am at war. War, not against the Initiative or the Hellmouth. No, I'm battling between my urgent need to write great things and do so much more with myself and the need to take a long break after writing nonstop for two weeks straight and gain some clarity about my next steps (as far as editing goes, a clear head and fresh perspective is very helpful).
So for now, I continue to ruminate on my story ideas. At this moment I have four solid ones. Okay, maybe three solid and one that is partially formed. But still. They're great. And I will make them accessible to you. Likely in a literary journal. Right after I finish season 4.
Since my writing conversation with my friend, I've been looking everywhere for ideas for short stories. I've come up with about three or four that I could put together in a heart beat. The problem is my computer, the lifeblood of my writing, the Excalibur to my Arthur, is also the vessel for my entertainment. It is the way I currently foster my burgeoning addiction to Buffy the Vampire Slayer
(thank you Joss Whedon and my dear friend Amberjae! I owe you both such a great depth of gratitude for my non-stop Buffy marathon that has me pigging out on pumpkin pie and irritating my husband with its campy effects and silly phrases like 'wiggins' and 'smoochies'). So currently I am at war. War, not against the Initiative or the Hellmouth. No, I'm battling between my urgent need to write great things and do so much more with myself and the need to take a long break after writing nonstop for two weeks straight and gain some clarity about my next steps (as far as editing goes, a clear head and fresh perspective is very helpful). So for now, I continue to ruminate on my story ideas. At this moment I have four solid ones. Okay, maybe three solid and one that is partially formed. But still. They're great. And I will make them accessible to you. Likely in a literary journal. Right after I finish season 4.
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