Who Never Read 50 Shades

Recently there has been a war in social media about 50 SHADES. I have a theory about why.

For the most part there are three groups in this fight. The first says the book is poorly written but entertaining drivel. They say it has nothing wrong. There were no rape scenes. It wasn't abusive. It's just erotica etc etc.

Then there are others who read it and hated it not because of the writing quality necessarily, but because of the message communicated to women and girls about BDSM and sexual relationships.

The most extreme warriors in this battle are those who never read the book and will not see the movie. These are the people who have started Twitter campaigns and written editorials. These are the people who unfollow and unfriend fans.

I think the first group has lived in blissful ignorance of the experiences of the other two. The fans cannot have experienced physical abuse or sexual violence and comfortably enjoy these books. How can you read about someone getting hit or humiliated or dominated and feel comfortable if you experienced sexual violence or physical abuse yourself? Maybe these fans have never experienced overt misogyny. They don't know what it is like to be told, in no uncertain terms, that they are worthless because they have a vagina. Whatever the case, they have seemingly gone through life unscathed.

The second group, my guess, has had some abuse experience either through friends or family, or directly to a mild amount. They have suffered at the hands of someone with more power. They have experienced or watched someone else suffer through something. They are allies to those who have bore the brunt of the abusive statistics and they recognize the connections between popular entertainment and the normalizing of such behavior.

The last group, the anti-fans, are the ones we really need to pay attention to. These are the people we need to take the time to understand and empathize with. These are our canaries in the coal mine. I believe these are the most likely to have suffered directly. They are the ones who were manipulated, molested, beaten, or raped. They are the ones who were stripped of their power by someone they trusted. They were the ones who have been told by society it was their fault. They are the ones who discovered the very people closest to them would not come to their aid when they were abused.

When I was younger I was told by a friend, the people who are most sensitive, most outspoken about abuse, are those who have experienced something directly. Let's consider the statistics. 1 in 3 women will be sexually or physically abused in their life time. That is ONE BILLION WOMEN. Of the women alive today, one billion of them have or will be abused physically or sexually.

That's a lot of people.

Think about your Facebook feed. Think about your friends. Think about your Twitter, G+, and Instagram followers. Think about the people you grew up with. How many of them reacted poorly to this book? The movie? Maybe they were impacted directly by abuse. It is possible. It is likely.

Statistically you know someone who has been raped. You know someone who was molested. You know someone who was beaten. You know someone who was verbally abused. You probably know many someones. Just because it happened doesn't mean they would tell you. Don't assume you were judged to be a safe person. These are the things we don't talk about. These are things society says are shameful.

So if you are a fan of this infamous piece of pulp, think about what it tells those people, what they hear out of your mouth: I am not safe. I am not going to protect you. I stand with your abuser.

And all you thought you said was, "It was a fun Saturday read."

Procrastination? No. This is Multi-tasking!

I've been going through a slump lately when it comes to writing - well, sort of. It's kind of hard to write when there is an adorable baby sitting next to you. I mean, really, this kid is cute. But he's also a baby, and babies require a lot of care.

My days have been filled with a lot of other things besides writing - social things, exercising, and figuring out the next steps for setting up some writing classes that I'll be leading in SB County.

These things are exciting and good, but they also make it a lot more difficult to get to my books. The motivation is difficult to find. Frequently I find myself playing dinky little match-three games and watching superhero movies to try to get the juices flowing. Seriously. I'm watching The Dark Knight right now, in between writing blog posts and playing Pet Rescue Saga.

Now you know my priorities are straight.

But even while I am doing these other things, I'm thinking. I'm always thinking. What's going to happen next in my story? When am I going to block out time to write away from the baby (The answer is when he goes to sleep around 8  tonight.)? Where am I going to submit my short stories? What am I going to do for promotion of my new classes?

This practice of thinking while doing other things might be a product of motherhood, but I also think it's a practice of people who are going places and getting things done. If you're not always thinking, you're not moving forward. So it might be procrastination to some, at least at face value. But it's not in the least. It just allows my mind the freedom to solve some of my problems and smooth the way to getting things done when I do have time to focus on finishing things. Still, I'd like to be writing a little more than I am. Really. But balance is the name of the game, and sometimes I just have to play one.

Pregnancy Annoyances: Movie Theaters

This year is full of blockbuster nerdgasms and it's a problem. Most of these movies fall into my "big screen" category. This means I'm going to be frequenting the local theater on $5 days around at least once a month.

Sigh.

For the rest of the time I'm pregnant, that's going to suck (I'm not sure how it's going to work with a baby, but we'll get there.). Let me explain in no uncertain terms why movie theaters are horrible for pregnant ladies.

Being pregnant means you have to keep everything in balance. As soon as you start to get out of balance, you get upset. When they're really out of whack, the world ends.

You have to drink enough fluids to stay hydrated. If you do however, you will have to pee in the middle of the movie. This requires you to sit in the handicap spot or the end of a row, so you can get up easily, which means you have to arrive ridiculously early. Otherwise you will have to go over people. Your balance is off so going over people in the dark is a really bad idea because you are likely going to trip and fall. On the other hand,  if you don't drink enough your mouth will get dry, you'll get a headache, and you may feel faint by the end of the film.

If you're like me, you don't feel comfortable jockeying for the arm rest shared by a stranger. But of course, if you don't do that, half your body will be stiff and uncomfortable because you won't have been shifting enough to keep your joints under even amounts of pressure for 2 hours.

The best time to go to a movie is immediately after eating. If you don't, then all the other patrons munching away on junk will not only be distracting, but downright torturous. By the end of the film you'll have heartburn from too much acid and no food in your stomach. You'll be so cranky you're hangry (angry because you're hungry) that you'll snap at your spouse over tiny things and not necessarily understand why.

Your discomfort, in short, is so intense it will be difficult to enjoy the movie and you will have to have a plan to address your concerns immediately upon exiting the theater.

Phew. World ending.

And I have at least until September of this. Damn you Hollywood for putting out a bunch of things I actually want to see in theaters!!

I guess I'll just have to wait until movies have been out for months. That way I can sit with at least one seat empty beside me or in the handicap spot. It'll take care of at least a few of my movie theater issues. Sigh.

The Importance of Subtle Writing

Because I hate myself I recently watched Star Wars Episode 1. When I first saw this monstrosity I remember having the same reaction. I hated the writing. Stellar actors were rendered inadequate with the blunt script and mediocre direction. Some characters detracted so much from the movie it would have benefited by removing them completely. The one liners were face-palm moments, completed only with eye rolling.

All these things are obvious flaws, especially when assuming the movie was written for adults. Clearly it was not, still it assumes that stupid children will be watching. Everything is explained to the point that it is redundant times seven.

This is funny because many Disney and Pixar movies which have been clearly marketed to children have fantastic writing or at least use hints as opposed to brute force for plot development.

Regardless, I find myself intensely dissatisfied with this installment of the saga. Perhaps it is because I've been watching so much Korean and Japanese film that I've fallen in love with the subtle. There is a profound beauty in the smallest of glances precipitating discovery. There is something artful in the smallest of touches eliciting anticipation from a would be lover. This is what I love and what Episodes 1-3 lack.

I am sure there are many for whom watching or reading such work would be difficult. I know when I read subtle writing I have to be careful so I don't miss anything. Of course that is the beauty. I love rereading something and finding new bits. I love discovering more. The more I read, the more the characters are revealed.

This is the mark of fine literature. It requires thought and participation of the reader. Yes, there is a time and a place to be spoon fed, but it will not be in good books. It will be in pulp. I do like my share of pulp, just like I enjoy chocolate cake. Still, I would prefer a well balanced dinner any day - in fact, every day. A girl's got to eat.

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"Misogyny Just Part of the Culture?!" A.K.A. "Sci-fi For Girls"

If there is one thing I hate, it's misogyny. Some might argue women-hating is dead. If someone honestly thinks that, it is our duty to take them aside and dispel their delusions. Misogyny is alive and well in one of the most popular American subcultures - nerd culture.

First let's figure out what "nerd culture" means. For the purposes of our discussion, let's assume nerd culture includes hard-core gamers, LARPers, table-top gamers, anime lovers, comic-book fanatics, as well as sci-fi, paranormal, and fantasy lovers. We could include some "geek culture" in this, and add engineers, mathematicians, and computer scientists - there certainly is overlap. However, I think nerd culture, as opposed to geek culture, is the real culprit when it comes to misogyny. Nerd culture does not require any degree of sophisticated higher-learning, whereas education is required in geek culture. Let's face it, the academy is a bit more accepting of gender equality (though women have certainly had a tough slog in the hard sciences). Besides, we're emphasizing a culture spurred by entertainment, not occupation.

Now that we're clear on who is included in our beloved nerd culture, let's tackle the giant flailing elephant in the room.

Why is it that women are second-class citizens in nerd culture?

I think there are several contributing factors. One is the perception of women as evil, manipulative creatures. In the past, nerds were less desirable mates. Thought of as unattractive, and socially incompetent, who would want a nerdy husband when the perfectly-formed athletic ubermensch was available? Nerdy boys have traditionally been friend-zoned, and as we all know, once being declared a friend, it is difficult to be anything else. The collective hurt of being relegated to friend, tormented, and misused by immature teen girls has become internalized by nerd culture. This hurt was transformed into a seething hatred, which was fueled by other aspects of nerd-dom.

This leads us to a second contributing factor to the misogynist nerd. This is the prominent adolescent idea that women are objects, as opposed to subjects, with the sole purpose of providing pleasure. Even if a female character is supposed to be self-possessed, she always appears in spandex, fitted vinyl, or rubber. If she's fully covered, her outfit is skin-tight, but she is just as often half-naked. Usually she has long, tousled hair. She is always beautiful. There is always the undercurrent that her real purpose is to please the men around her, as opposed to any agenda of her own. This depiction of women is an expression of a previously held conception, while serving to reinforce the ideas associated with such images.

While this depiction of women may be one of the more overt contributing factors, there are others that are more insidious. For example, the type of thinking involved in nerd culture is primarily analytical, as opposed to relational. This is perpetuated by the types of games and stories popular in nerd culture.

Honestly, women think differently. Our brains function differently. We react to information in different ways from men. Because nerd culture has been predominated by men, the type of entertainment present is clearly tailored for them. It makes it difficult to break into such a culture, because clearly, women are not welcome. I've heard from many of my nerdy friends that relational stories are stupid, unrealistic, or just plain bad. Of course, these are the same stories that would appeal to many female audiences. I say this because biologically, women are predisposed to concern ourselves with family and community relationships in an effort to raise children. This is not to say that all women are empathetic or relationship oriented (many are not). However there is no reason why hard sci-fi can't have some depth of interaction between characters.

The final contributing factor to nerd misogyny is it's traditionalism. The majority of nerd culture is incredibly closed-minded, though it generally considers itself to be progressive in nature. There are two ways society labels a person progressive - if they have strong leftist opinions (to the exclusion of any other possibility), or in the willingness to entertain opposing or differing perspectives.

The problem is, many nerds think of themselves as progressive in one or both of these ways. Often, however, they are the exact opposite. Let's consider, many nerds consider themselves to be intelligent. However just because a person is intelligent does not mean they are capable of entertaining different perspectives. Intelligence does not require a person be willing to change. And if a person is stupid, good luck trying to figure out the trigger that inspires change.

So yes, nerds may be comfortable entertaining quantum physics theories, and exploring the development from a given comic of 1953 to one of the present, but this does not mean nerds are progressive. In fact, the development of many of the stories so popular in nerd culture is steeped in ancient myths as well as superheros created when Donna Reed was still a "good" idea. Traditional, for the nerd, is in.

There is always a hero - the hero always saves the day. Ideas of chivalry and dominance hierarchies are alive and well. Of course those two heavy weights bring associated gender identities. As we might suspect, women are to be saved, sexed, and set aside (either left in the tavern down the road, or protected by being sequestered in a fortress). It's enough to make this woman want a claymore.

There are many reasons why nerd culture is misogynist, and therefore, we need to attack this belief from a variety of angles. This is one of the reasons why I am so committed to writing the types of stories that I do. I wanted to create things that were "female friendly" - stories that encourage a different perception of women. But a few writers creating stories with different depictions of women is not enough - first and foremost, we need a broader recognition of the incredible misogynist tendencies of nerd culture. Once this is recognized, we can address it on a broad scale in such a way that it can be changed.

After all, the first step is recognizing we even have a problem. How else can we get to step two?

Please Don't Suck Sci-fi!

As much as I adore the fantastical landscapes and riot of colors and shapes that so often populate the sci-fi genre, most of it sucks. Even the big budget stuff can get pretty bad (I cite Star Wars Episodes 1-3). That's not even to mention the spectacular campiness of low budget movies, half of which have been mocked by an equally campy show, Mystery Science Theater 3000. Yet, this genre has a devout following that fills convention centers and maintains obscure costume shops across the country. There may be a lot of pulp, but it's well loved pulp.

And it makes me cringe just thinking about it.

As a writer I feel I have an obligation. I am the first to admit that I prefer reading (and writing) fantasy to sci-fi (though fantasy has just as bad a history as sci-fi, if not more so). I also prefer watching fantasy to sci-fi, however, there just isn't a lot of it out there (and how many times can you watch Stardust?). That said, I would rather watch a sci-fi flick than something based in reality any day. I would watch Firefly or Avatar over a schmaltzy romantic comedy every time. The question is why?

Sci-fi allows us to deal with issues that are difficult to face. It is a lot easier for people to confront difficult truths about existence in a fantastical framework. At the same time we may be confronting these things, we're also able to escape completely. People like genre fiction for these reasons. It's enjoyable. It's fun - even though it can also be painful (think: 1984).

The problem of course, is because these genres have such a cultish fan base, they encourage bad writing. Yes, I'll just come right out and say it. There are very few good genre fiction writers (speaking as someone who writes genre fiction). There is a time and a place for pulpy crap. People addicted to the stuff will often buy poorly written stories in order to escape, not really caring how well the characters are developed or the story is crafted. While the bar has been raised recently because of the upsurge in nerd-cool (thank GOD!), it's still possible to write something absolutely ridiculous and have people eat it up. Quite a lot of people actually enjoy Star Wars Episodes 1-3, and to them all I can say is, you need to watch Firefly.

So, writers of sci-fi, please, please, PLEASE! I beg you! Take time to craft a beautiful story! Don't get caught up in the weird random details of the universe you create. They aren't the important bits. The important things are the plot and your character development.  I promise as I delve into sci-fi myself, I will do my best to make sure it's as awesome as I can possibly make it. I promise to steer clear of cliched one-liners and cookie-cutter characters. I promise not to blatantly steal from those who came before, but to do something original and fantastic.

Let's pinky swear on it.

From Novel to Script & Back Again - Changing Writing Styles

Many writers understand how different writing a novel can be from a short story. Intellectually, they know that scriptwriting is also different. The danger comes when they think it's easy. Easy isn't the correct word, because just like when you write a short story, you have to shift gears and think in different terms (like "cross" and "off screen"). I am in the process of doing just that.

I have written before about my science fiction project, The Apex. It is a seven part epic that hopefully will have at least parts 1-4 completely written in 2012. That's the goal anyway. In order to reach this goal, I'm working with the director (for lack of a better word) of the project on novelizing the scripts but I'm also co-writing with him on the scripts.

One of the things I have to concentrate on is getting away from descriptions. If you've read my blog regularly, my book THE BROTHERS or are one of the blessed few who has gotten a whiff of its sequel LOVERS AND RIVALS, you know how I feel about description. For a novel, there is nothing more important than elegant phrasing and sublime sentence structure. In order to transport the reader into the writer's world, the author MUST use adverbs and adjectives. There must be active verbs and words that activate the senses. These are required. But for a script, description is largely out the window. The importance in a script is in lively dialogue that honors the characters and moves the plot along. Scripts are concise, so every word and action by the characters must be chosen carefully in order to communicate something to the viewer while driving the story. Different goals require different writing skill sets.

Honestly, once I see someone do something like this, I have the blessed ability to imitate it. If I see something done once, usually I can reproduce the required tasks (I've learned how to beat several puzzle games this way). This is also how my writing has gotten progressively better from one manuscript to the next (thank the LORD!). That said, my first foray into scriptwriting will definitely reflect my learning curve. Luckily for me, I have someone writing with me who has experience making it a bit easier.

As many of you know, The Apex project is not the end of my screenwriting. My goal is to write scripts adapted from my other books as well (especially the Khloe Alwell series). It will be interesting to see how the process works differently in that situation. Instead of novelizing a script, I'll be moving a different direction, as well as using my own story. I like the idea of adapting my own story into a script, but I know also that I will miss out on some of the cross-pollination that happens when another creative force is present. No matter how any of this turns out, screenwriting is an exciting frontier in my creative process. I fully plan to conquer it, flag and all.

When Movies Ruin Books - The Actor v. The Character

Well, I finally sucked it up and read Breaking Dawn.  I just can't watch a movie of a book without reading it first.  It always irks me.  As it is with both Harry Potter and the Twilight series, it's been painful to watch the movies and then read the books.

This is because I really like imagining the characters in my head and very rarely do the actors live up to my standards.  I will say, there are certainly some actors that do.  But when I read the descriptions of the characters, I know the author wasn't picturing Rupert Grint or Taylor Lautner.  Granted, they aren't poor second choices, but they aren't Ronald Weasley and Jacob Black - they're compromises.  I don't mean this as a comment on their acting.  It's not their acting that bugs me.  It's just when I read about Jacob, it's describing someone else.  Not Taylor.  But I see Taylor.  Jacob doesn't look anything like Taylor Lautner, except they have dark hair and tan skin.

The thing that bugs me even more is when the movie and book release dates overlap.  This only occurs when a series has not been completely written and Hollywood smells green.  Don't get me wrong, I enjoy seeing books turned into movies, not the least of which for an increase in book sales.  However, I just can't separate the actor portraying the character from the character when I visualize what is happening in a story.  And it bugs.   

As much as I love BBC's rendition of Pride and Prejudice, I have a hard time separating the actors from my beloved Mr. Darcy and Miss Bennet when I read the text. 

For those of us with limited imaginations, this might be an acceptable situation.  Maybe you never imagined the characters before seeing the movie.  I did.  I saw and felt each piece of fabric.  I imagined their hair, how it reflected the light, and hung about their heads.  I saw their skin, the lines, shapes, and color.  I relished in the beauty of their imperfections.  I fell in love with them. 

There are limits to what good actors exist in the world with certain desirable traits exhibited by literary characters.  Sometimes a casting director might get lucky.  More often than not, it's a series of compromises.  Who is similar enough to communicate the character without ignoring essential pieces of their physical attributes?  That is the goal - similar enough. Except of course, that doesn't help those of us who read or plan to re-read.  We can only hope the similarities are enough to blot out the differences when we come to the next scene where our favorite character appears.

Poor Americans - The Problem of Consolidated Wealth

If I was a conspiracy theorist, I would say that it was the fault of big money.  I've been trying to watch the same documentary courtesy of Netflix for over two weeks.  My Bluray player won't read the disc.  Windows won't read the disc.  Ubuntu only would read 30 minutes of the disc before deciding there wasn't any information left on it.  By the way, the DVD doesn't have any scratches.  It doesn't have any flaws as far as I can tell.  So why won't it play?

The One Percent is a telling documentary about wealth disparity in the U.S. and the connection between Washington D.C. and richest people in America.  I have to wonder why I had such difficulty watching this film that was supposed to be circulated by a corporate agency created for the express purpose of film circulation.  I feel thwarted. 

Despite this, I know what the conclusion is.  It is dangerous for so much wealth to be consolidated in the hands of so few.  Not only can we talk about the consolidation of financial wealth, but social wealth as well.  Even in the case where a child is deprived of their monetary inheritance, they still have their name.  A name can give you many things.  Connections are inherited.  Social circles are built on names.  It is impossible to deny that social capital has as much importance as financial. 

The recommendations of close friends get jobs.  Relationships facilitate class movement, wealth generation, and general improvement of a person's situation.  The bigger your social network, the better chances you have of getting things you want. The more influential your connections, the more options you have.  It is therefore impossible to disenfranchise an heir of the top one percent, unless they themselves have singlehandedly squandered their wealth and connections (which would take a great deal of effort). And who, in their right mind would do such a thing? No one.  Certainly not me.

Water Legends - The Selkie

One of the things I really enjoy about writing is research.  My short stories in particular are taking me in directions that had previously lived on the fringes of my consciousness.  In the spirit of discovery I am immersing myself in a variety of things, including folk stories, historical accounts, and film. 

My current exploration involves the myths of selkies.  Selkies (which can be spelled and pronounced in a number of different ways) are shapeshifters who generally take on the shape of a seal.  The stories are almost always tragedies - the boy might get the girl, but only until she turns back into a seal and leaves forever.  The message tends to be that a sea woman will always leave, and her children will almost always inadvertently help her do so.

Obviously the stories are to meant to deal with what happens when a woman leaves a man (as this is how the majority of the stories go) as well as the wonders of the sea.  Living in a place where the seasons are rough and the sea is rougher, it would be nice to know that a selkie might happen upon you and help you get to safety during a storm. 

There is something about the water, that calls to us.  Water is life.  The majority of our bodies are water.  The majority of our world is water.  Beyond that, it is clear, and yet hides so much in its depths.  There, suspended in that great moving mass is a world within a world, so much of it still undiscovered.  So much under the surface is shrouded in mystery that it follows we would still tell ourselves stories of sea monsters, mermen, and kelpies.

Supersport Motorcycle Movies

We just got a Blu-ray player for a ridiculously cheap price (which was good because the signals of our DVD player remote were screwing with our TV and visa versa).  To make sure the settings were right, Christian decided to pop in one of his favorite racing movies, Tokyo Drift. Now, I'm not a total gear-head, but I have a serious stereotypical guy movie thing going on, as long as there is some homage to plot and not excessive gore, I will usually watch it once.  Cars, shiny, and hot chicks, it's a definite go.

My question is, why aren't there any good crotch-rocket motorcycle movies? Sure there are documentaries about motorcycle racing, and there is of course the awful Easy Rider which makes me want to blow up myself, or the other chopper/cruiser movies that so many people like to watch, the majority of which are bad.  There are very few to zero things on the market that are fiction, involve sport bikes as central to the plot, and are any good whatsoever.  There is only so much cruiser I can take.  I want something that is sleek, beautiful, fast and makes me salivate.  Not something that looks like it hasn't changed in fifty years, the welds might fall apart, and or the engine will cause me to damage my hearing in two minutes of riding.  Please.  Let's give up that wretched black leather vest image and get a little Icon or Alpinestars in there.  I would love my Bombshell boots on the screen.

Yes... please Hollywood, put a beautiful man (and a woman too, while you're at it) in leathers and a helmet on a fast beautiful Supersport and I will watch him (and her).  Make it about racing and pushing himself (herself) to be awesome.  Make it at least as good as Tokyo Drift.  I will talk about the movie constantly.  I promise. Pre-production soon?

Empress Hotel - Free Showing at the Piedmont

Last night we went to the Piedmont Theatre to see a free showing of Empress Hotel sponsored by the non-profit EveryOne Home. The theater was packed with people attending in anywhere from jeans and t-shirts to full on business wear, all being sufficiently helped by a flock volunteers.  Free popcorn and soda was given to everyone attending by some cheerful guys behind the concession counter.

Once inside the theater we were greeted immediately by an usher who quickly found us two seats together.  Before the movie started, they gave out prizes and thanked a number of their funders as well as the venue. 

As expected, the documentary was low budget, but it brought to light something that is both profoundly depressing and hopeful simultaneously.  I was fully prepared to be either really sad or really angry, instead, I left feeling better about the world because people who run the Empress Hotel exist. Yes, the stories of the residents who live in the low income hotel were sad.  You wonder about how their parents could have done the things they did, or the downward spirals that led them to become homeless or addicted to crack or heroin.  Yet, some of them were able to find the Empress and take advantage of the services available to them.  Health services, activities, free food markets, and a general sense of support and community were being fostered in the heart of the Tenderloin.  It was something that was incredibly uplifting.  At least there are places like this that exist. At least there are people in the world doing good things like this, helping each other, and making the world a better place.

Thank you EveryOne Home for putting on a great movie that showcases the good work going on in the Bay Area to end homelessness.  It's so important that people are aware of the complexities of the problem (from mental illness to just a series of myopic choices leaving people jobless to serious drug addiction) and that there is hope.  There is always hope.

HP7 - Deathly Hallows Part 1

There are different kinds of people in this world.  Some of them have bad taste in music.  Some have bad taste in books.  Others have the palate of a 5 year old. Still others have bad taste in movies. 

The definition of bad taste varies depending on who is perceiving whatever taste is in question.  I will be the first to own up to my need for epics, fantasies, and campy science fiction in film and television.  I can hear the sigh of disdain when my addictions come up in casual conversation, which they frequently do because of the rise in popularity of fantasy and sci-fi in Young Adult fiction.  It's true, I did a Buffy marathon.  I watched Ghost Whisperer religiously on cable reruns.  I did watch the Twilight saga (Okay, but half of the reason for that was because of the naked boys, I'm sorry.  It's totally true. I couldn't stand the whining of Bella after book three and never read book four.).  When Star Trek came out with the Next Generation, growing up, I was sitting there on the carpet with my dad watching that too.  So it's no wonder that I had to see all of the Harry Potter flicks in the theater, after all, I read and own all the books. 

Unfortunately, the books are detailed.  This inherently means that 3 hours is never enough to capture all the details of the story.  Movies are interpretations of their book selves.  For those who just watched them and didn't read, that sucks, because the books are awesome.  Well, I mean, I like them better.  Still, for the most part, Warner Brothers has done a fairly good job with the movies.  Yes there were changes, but all in all, the film interpretation kept the spirit of the books, which ultimately, is as good as you can hope to get.  Having a great cast doesn't hurt either. Yet even with all this in mind, I found myself disappointed with the Deathly Hallows.

Maybe it was because of the role of Dobby in the movie versus the book.  Maybe I wanted more development of the struggle Harry had choosing between the horcruxes and hallows or the tension between Ron and Hermione.  Maybe it had something to do with the cut off place between Part 1 and 2 (which while necessary if WB wanted to get all the details in the movie, is irritating to anyone who read the books and wants to see the rendition of the next plot point).  Then again, some characters just materialized out of thin air and others seemed to be erased, as is often the case with books turned into movies.  It's irritating enough to make me wonder if I even want my someday published works turned into movies....  Nah, I think I'll live.  In the mean time, I'll smolder over Part 1 and reserve final judgment for the battle of Hogwarts in Part 2.  I guess we'll just have to wait until summer...

Live like me?

We recently canceled our cable.  This meant I had to temporarily give up my Ghost Whisperer addiction.  This was both good and bad.  It was good because I needed to do something else with my days.  It was bad because I had to give it up and I didn't get to watch the entire show.  When I get into something, I have to do it whole enchilada.  For example, when I get into a book series, I have to read them all, immediately.  It means I don't sleep very much.  Needless to say, I definitely had withdrawal symptoms. Sad, I know, but everyone has their addictions.

In place of cable, we subscribed to Netflix.  The unfortunate thing about Netflix is it isn't particularly Ubuntu friendly, so you can't watch things instantly on it.  Instead I have to log into my ghost OS, Windows 7 starter for netbooks so I can watch things instantly.  This is slightly inconvenient, mostly because I am technologically retarded. It requires me to choose something in the BIOS and I can't figure out how to access my Ubuntu files from Windows 7.  See, I like to watch and write simultaneously.  I jump back and forth.  When I hit a wall, I watch something for a little while and then return to my written word. 

Well, after rating several hundred movies and TV shows, Netflix gave me some suggestions.  I decided to log into my Windows OS and check out some of the suggested instant play options.  This is how I found my new temporary addiction, well at least until I finish seasons one, two and the associated movie - Dead Like Me.  The series got me thinking about how I live my own life.  The main character is undead, and she spends her time thinking about the things she would have changed during her short life in between her mundane office job and her grim reaping.  It got me thinking about a number of different things that I've done in my life.  At the moment, it feels like life is a bit on hold.  I did need a break of a month or so from work.  My last job sucked major wang.  I hated it.  I hated the people in charge.  The company was horrible.  It made me want to bang my head against the wall over and over again.  There were many reasons for this, but mostly, it was because my soul was sucked out of my body. 

Needless to say, I required some down time in between positions.  It meant this break was very much appreciated, but now I feel a bit like I'm stewing in my own juices if you catch my drift.  It seems like life needs to pick up again.  How does one just pick up life?  Should you volunteer? Start a business? Join a Meetup group and hope it actually works out? I just don't know.  Normally I leave this kind of thing up to chance.  How long does chance typically take? I don't know, but I do know that it usually takes 2 years for a place to really feel like home.  Maybe then I'll feel like my life is back on the fast track.  Nudges earlier than that would definitely help.  Maybe I should sit in a local coffee house and talk to anyone who looks interesting.  Maybe I could just start by leaving the apartment more regularly.  Cross your fingers for good incentives!  I'd like to live a bit more, wouldn't you?

Renaissance Girls Rock

Recently I've become a fan of Jennifer Love Hewitt.  This might seem kind of weird, but it makes perfect sense.  Here's my case with supporting evidence.

1. Jennifer is the star of Ghost Whisperer, some episodes she wrote as well as directed and/or produced.  Ghost Whisperer combines drama, the paranormal, and fabulous vintage style clothes all in one.  Plus, the main characters are primarily brunettes (which I always like because there are too many blondes in Hollywood).
2. She has written a produced multiple music albums which have been successful over seas, if not here.
3. Jennifer has also been successful as a star in major motion pictures (even if I didn't like many of them) such as I know what you did, Can't Hardly Wait and Heart Breakers.
4. As if that wasn't enough, she's written, produced, directed and starred in numerous made for TV movies.
5. PLUS she created the Music Box comic book.  WHAT?!

That is the reason I am a fan.  It's not the crazy actual fanatic style fan where I want everything to be JLH all the time.  No, that would be crazy and scary and might inspire restraining orders.  No, I'm a fan because so few people can cross genres and products and be successful in them.  Ms. Hewitt has done just that.  She is the quintessential Media Celebrity Renaissance Woman.  Of course there are others who are able to be in Broadway musicals and TV or movies, but Jennifer has written and directed AND produced things.  Many have won awards.  She just keeps going and pushing boundaries and trying new things. Maybe it is the genius of her branding, or her stunning figure, or her sweet smile that encourages this type of cross media success.  I'm inclined to think she's just got the business smarts and the talent.  This is a rare combination of gifts.

Why would I devote all this time to discussing Ms. Hewitt? Well, ever since I read about Leonardo Da Vinci and the concept of the Renaissance Man, I wanted to be a Renaissance Woman.  I wanted to be able to cross talents and boundaries and be successful in all of them.  It has always been at the back of my mind.  Yes many people are excellent at one thing, or a couple of things, but what about five or six? Can you dance, sing, act, paint, speak publicly, write, and be an economic powerhouse? If the answer is yes, you have definitely graduated into Renaissance Legend status.

Necessarily I found the Japanese female equivalent intriguing, the Geisha.  Of course, the idea of having a contract and being sold seemed a little, well, Vegas. But the concept behind the perfect finished piece of living breathing artwork in a woman's body was intoxicating.  Perhaps this is the reason I am beginning to give air time to these long forgotten ideas in my head.  Suddenly it seems reasonable to be able to write books, model, write and sing songs, and sell my paintings.  It seems achievable to own several businesses and start several non-profits while doing all these other things.  Suddenly political clout seems within reach.  The possibilities seem endless.  Now, Jennifer Love Hewitt may not be all of those things, but she is a symbol of the potentialities of such things.  She is a symbol of my potential, and the visions I have of myself in years to come.  For that I thank her because every time I see her on TV it makes me think of what I need to do for myself to be successful in my goals.  So, Love, cheers!

My Life is a Movie

When I was in high school I thought of myself as virtually invisible.  I didn't understand the social dynamics in which I inhabited.  It wasn't until senior year when the yearbook had a bunch of candids of me with friends and photos of me in various extracurricular activities that I realized I wasn't invisible.  I just didn't hang out with the people who were getting trashed constantly and making a mess of themselves at parties with drugs and alcohol.  Instead I hung out with a small group of people, the majority of whom ended up going to Ivy Leagues and the like. 

After that, my life was less clearly defined.  Everything moved much faster.  Art school flew by with a series of events that became legend, though sometimes my name wasn't listed, or the whole story wasn't told.  Mostly it was surrounding the antics of my then crazy boyfriend (sorry dude). I left art school needing a break from it as well as him.

That summer I went to Costa Rica for a mission trip, and that had its own set of wild circumstances and drama that only I could end up drawing out.  From there I ended up moving to paradise, Santa Barbara CA.  I am sure I tormented quite a few boys during my year off from school.  I decided I would go back to college at my parents' alma mater and became bi-coastal.  Half of my junior year ended up taking place in Central Europe where everything was weird and every day seemed to bring another crazy story, from Chinese business men looking for English tutors hitting on me to being in a double decker bus with a bunch of crazed Serbians with an understandable grudge against Americans.  From graduation it was a year volunteering in AmeriCorps which was another adventure.  Graduate school followed with 6 months in India that was a series of adventures all of which were epic and next to impossible to manufacture.  Immediately after graduation I got married, moved to Phoenix and got the material I needed for Phoenix Rising. Now I'm in the Bay Area and it's a new series of adventures that have plot points which only occur when involving people who are risk-takers, dreamers, and people who don't let life happen to them but go and make it happen for them.  That's my life. 

Some people go home and the most exciting thing that happens to them is their car breaks, so they take it to the mechanic.  Their nail breaks so they go to the salon.  Maybe they turn on the TV and watch the latest waste of time reality TV show that follows someone's Hollywood manufactured life.  They buy a dog, so they have to get new carpet cleaner.  My life has never been that boring.  Sometimes I wish it was. Mostly I don't, because then, well, I'd be bored.  Plus I'd never have enough inspiration to write.  I realized this last night as Christian and I walked to the Redbox to bring back a movie. Our car is still broken so we had to walk. Luckily the grocery store hosting the Redbox is about a mile away - easy walking distance.  We're both feeling guilty like our current situation is our fault.  So our conversation while walking consisted mostly of apologies.  Then I realized that if we hadn't made the choices we had, we wouldn't have any of these crazy stories.  We wouldn't have the adventures.  I wouldn't have the inspiration for my writing.  Perhaps life would be easier, but it wouldn't be nearly as exciting or as much fun.  How else should you live your life but really live it?  Why wouldn't you take the risks to make something of yourself? Doesn't everyone want to have a legacy in this world? I know I do.  I don't think I could live with myself if I didn't. 

Of course, it means that sometimes life sucks.  Sucks major wang.  There's nothing you can do to avoid it.  interesting stories always have that part.  Interesting movies always have that moment where the heroine is at her bottom and you wonder, what is she going to do to get out of this? My movie is a comedy, so something always saves the day.  But then again, I got all the family luck.

Outed! Frickin Dorktastic.

I didn't expect to ever like a comic (when I say comic I mean graphic novel).  Seriously.  I say this and my husband is an avid online comic reader.  He reads Dr. McNinja, A Softer World, xkcd, Diesel Sweeties, Sinfest, Questionable Content, PVP, Sam and Fuzzy, and Penny Arcade religiously. I periodically get updates about characters and situations for which I have little or no background knowledge.  That isn't to say I don't appreciate the one pager every now and again, I just don't seek the things out.

*ominous music plays*

So yesterday we go to Davis to hang out with a few friends (the guy Greg is a friend of Christian's from forever).  We try different brewed beverages and play fruity board games (read: Apples 2 Apples).  Lea, gives me a graphic novel to read to get into this series of comics.  Now, I can't say I was actually happy about it at the time.  I was slightly confused and genuinely skeptical.  After all, I'm the type of person who sometimes reads news articles, and mostly reads fantastical re-imaginings of Jane Austen story lines. What could a graphic novel hold for me?

And here Lea, is where I hate you.  I hate you so good because FABLES is freaking FANTASTIC! I may have become addicted.  It was only 1001 Nights of Snowfall, so I have to somehow get a hold of the volumes in the main story line, but still.  Brilliant. 

I have this horrible set of vices involving fantasy, epics, magic, and the paranormal.  It is everything that "classic dorks" are labeled to have.  I can't help it.  Anything that comes into movie form and has an epic story line (in the traditional nearly Homeric fashion) I have to see it in the theater.  Everything that has werewolves, vampires, or some other type of immortal I have to at least review (because let's face it, they tend to have the shittiest of the story lines as well as production and if you make one too many poor movie selections, you won't find anyone to see them with you).

In book form I am a little more discerning because there are more options from which to choose, but still I am guilty there as well. I own all the Harry Potter books (they're better than the movies, though the movies aren't bad). I read through most of the Pern Series.  I tried to read Tolkien but I got tired of all the male centric writing so I had to scratch the effort on Two Towers.  C.S. Lewis, Lloyd Alexander, and Madeleine L'Engle are special people close to my heart. Xanth occupied much of my young adult mind.  Friends even bought me back story books like certain world's encyclopedias or short story volumes explaining the decade breaks between books within a series.

But I never wore a Ren costume.  I never went to any kind of festival where out dorks would cavort with one another (thus far - though I have long wanted to attend a comic-con for the sociological experience it would offer me). For the most part, I was a closet case, and even then, I passed for just about everything else, betrayed only by the occasional Halloween costume choice or veiled reference to a series.  But Lea caught on instantly.  Maybe I gave her a secret handshake without knowing it.  Maybe I wasn't as closeted as I thought.

But damn it girl, you outed me, if only through inspiring me to confess my dorktasticness to everyone else.  Well done.  Hit acknowledged. *grin*