The Excitement of Adventure

San Bruno Mountain Reserve 2012

This post is part of the Open Book Blog Hop (begun by author P.J. Fiala) where you can learn more about authors and bloggers. The theme this week is fun.

My "fun" is limited. I'm a bit of a workaholic and a stay-at-home parent of an active toddler, which means 99% of my time is spoken for. I have to plan every part of my day and week just to make sure I can shower and brush my teeth. When I do get a spare minute, I am usually so tired, all I can do is watch the latest sci-fi creation out of Canada.

That said, when my husband is off work, we do family or date things. This often involves hiking, short excursions, and or movies. Today we went to the beach, took a long walk, and had a picnic. Afterwards we got frozen yogurt at a DIY yogurt bar. That is a pretty typical example of our family time.

Before Kiddo, however, things were a little different.

Halloween Shiny Toy Guns concert, Bako 2011

I really enjoy dancing - salsa, hip-hop, techno, swing, waltz, whatever. It brings me joy. I also love live music, especially funk and folk (though my interests are pretty varied). Dinner and dancing or a concert would be an ideal time for me. I also really enjoy art openings, festivals, and museums for daytime fun. So if I was childless and wanted to have some staycation-style fun, this would be it.

But more than this, I love adventuring. An adventure for me could be hiking, camping, or just exploring a new town. When I lived in the Bay Area, we would go on a different hiking trail every weekend, and often explore a new section of the Bay. Every weekend was a new adventure, and I absolutely loved it.

We try to do that everywhere we live. When we were in Phoenix, we would take a day in different parts of the city. We went to the mountains. We went to Sedona. We went to Tuscon. When we lived in Bakersfield, we explored Tehachapi. We sussed out all the cool spots. We went to Lake Isabella.

Now that we're in Santa Barbara County, it's hard to feel like there is any adventure left, because we've both lived in the area for significant portions of time. Having our son brings an element of newness to the place, but it's not quite the same. I'm still getting used to the change and embracing it. The next big adventure is scheduled for late September when we'll be camping in Big Sur with Kiddo and going to the Monterrey Bay Aquarium. While I've been to both places when childless, I am excited to share them with my son and experience them as a family. It is different. There won't be dancing or concerts. Our pace will be slower, but I will get to experience it all through Kiddo's eyes. To see his joy when watching jellyfish tanks or when feeling the tide pool exhibit will be wonderful.

What do you consider fun? Leave a comment below! 

Tracy

Speaking of fun, check out chick lit and women's fiction author Tracy Krimmer. Her new book, Jay Walking is on pre-order on Amazon. You can read about this, her other novels, and check out her blog at her site here! Also be sure to like her Facebook Author page here.

 
Also, if you're interested in joining our blog hop, link up below!

An InLinkz Link-up

Writing Inspiration: Punk Fanboys, College, and Vinnie Pies

Pittsburgh, view from the incline

I get inspiration from everywhere. Things stick in the back of my mind - blaring neon signs begging to be shared. They bother me until I have to write them into a story. Sometimes it's unexpected. Sometimes it's conscious and intentional.

I have this love of those indie and punk rock fanboys. Really. They're my not-so-secret crush. You know the ones - the kind who wear band shirts and low slung dark jeans. They are so adamant about their views and on the turn of a dime ruthlessly mock themselves. The ones who sing you lullabies, kiss soft, and stare with such smoldering intensity you can't wait to tackle them in a broom closet, on the playground, and under the bleachers.

Ahem. That's how my character Laran came to be in the KHLOE ALWELL series.

Then there's the places that make you into who you are - colleges and universities - the ones where you party with your professors and the lines blur between mentor, employer, and friend. They live in small towns that bend around the space of the university, and everything stops in summer.It's something between UCSB, Penn State, Juniata, and Bard. That's where Alisa meets Dr. Pierce in BELOW THE BELT.

But inspiration can be more than a specific place - it can be a complete culture, including everything from the food people eat to the entertainment they enjoy.

For example, my dad's family is from Pittsburgh. Whenever we visit, we always go to Vincent's Pizza. I frickin love that place. People on the west coast do NOT understand about pizza. They don't. Anyone who claims they know what good pizza is and then talk about a national chain is stupidly limited in their exposure to good pizza.

There are several styles. There is the Chicago style, which has a time and place. There is Sicilian, also a time and place. Then there is New York, which kind of migrates from NYS down into Jersey, Philly, and west all the way to Pittsburgh. Seriously (I've been to these places and lived there - trust me on this.). These are the kinds of places that have crust so thin in the middle it falls apart when you pick it up. The sauce has simmered for days, because health codes can't get in the way of taste. The cheese is piled high. Once baked, the crust bubbles and the grease settles in the center, threatening a coronary.

So yeah, every Rollins boy loves Vinnie's pies. And he loves the Steelers. And the Pirates. And the Penguins. Because that's what it means to be from Pittsburgh, something that only people with ties to Pittsburgh understand.

And I wanted to share these things, because they were so important to my own formation. They marked my days and nights and built me into the woman I am today. How could I not write about them? About smoldering eyes, fun colleges, and delicious pizza?

These are the things I pull from reality to give readers a glimpse. They are the details that build believable books.

Playtime and Celebrations

Here I come to kick some butt!!

All work and no play makes Alexis a dull girl.

Fortunately this week is full of fun. This past Saturday I got a night out to a friend's costume party (super fun to dress up and reconnect with friends!). Sunday I sang Pharrell's "Happy" at church and then we had Trunk or Treat, which was followed by us carving a pumpkin and roasting the seeds.

And this coming weekend? I'm opening at the Cambridge Drive Concert Series which should be another good time.

With any luck, next Monday Christian and I will get some movie time, but that will depend on a few things being in place (babysitting and errands being completed for example).

Though I have a few aspects of my doctoral applications yet to complete (short answers and essays for example), I feel confident that I will have them completed soon, and that all aspects of the applications will be at the peak of excellence (as far as I can make them). That's all I can do. The reactions of the admissions committees are outside of my control. I'm comfortable with whatever happens because I know whatever happens, this coming year is going to be a good year for myself and my little family. I don't know what that means exactly, but I know we're heading to a really good place.

All the more reason to put on some make-up and pretend to be an off duty superhero...or Toby Keith (Christian's costume...complete with a red plastic cup...).

My Cell Phone Changed My Life

I'm a little bit of a gadget person - just a little bit. Still I never expected I would be so shaken by a change in my cell phone.

Remember how I wanted to wait for Blackberry to get their act together? Well, I couldn't. I couldn't because my battery was expanding and not holding a charge. In short, if I waited until a company decided to release their latest and greatest, I could have had acid burns on my cheek from my phone exploding.

Not ideal.

It helped that my husband's phone was some crazy Chinese knock-off that refused to stand up to his regular abuse (His pants and his phones last half as long as other people's - I swear!). So we both got new phones.

Because I have crazy personal goals that require a revamp of my social media presence, I started downloading apps that I hadn't even dreamed of.

I finally committed to Hootesuite, which has been somewhat of an improvement, though if I had the money to pay for the service, I think it would be better. But beyond the expected, I also downloaded Sparksfly, Konnect Social, and ShoutOMatic.

So far, Sparksfly has upped the ease of engaging with my Tweeps (though not as much with Facebook...). I've done more retweeting in the last few days than I have done in a 48 hour period EVER. I started to fool around with Konnect Social, but I have yet to really dive into the possibilities with this app. The possibilities do appeal, especially because I want to engage more with people who will be interested in my content (duh! Who doesn't?!). ShoutOMatic seems really cool and would help me put up greater variety of content, but again, I have yet to use it. Often times I have a sleeping baby around when I have time (like right now) and trying to fool with extra sounds doesn't seem like a good idea.

This is just the beginning.

I've started taking videos of related things and am looking forward to revisiting my YouTube account and creating a few channels (one per blog?). This is in part because of some super easy video editing apps that I can put on my phone, as well as the GoPro and my husband's amazing tech skills. I'm both anxious and excited about these prospects.

And I wouldn't have ventured down this crazy path without my new phone. While it's not the new hotness, it is enough of a change from my previous phone that the improvement is marked. The possibilities have grown exponentially. Doors have opened.

I'm a kid in a candy shop.

Come stuff your face with me. It's amazing.

What are some social media apps that have changed your online life? What are some tech gadgets that opened doors for you? Leave a comment below!

Written Word is Forever Performance

Last night I was in Pismo Beach singing.

It's been a long time since I sang with my dad playing guitar and I forgot how good it could be. I didn't remember how on I could be while performing. It really made me feel like I belong on stage.

That's odd...mostly because I am a writer. People don't think of writers as performers, but we are. In some ways it is a more difficult performance. A singer can alter her performance each time. A singer's worst performance might be ignored or forgotten if it is mediocre (assuming it isn't recorded), but her best performance can become even better in the warmth of memory (and shared virally if it is recorded).

The written word is forever.

For-ev-er.

It feels so final.

No matter how many times I alter my words, I still feel the mistakes of the first time, especially if those less than stellar pages were published.

I like performing on stage a lot. I like it for a lot of reasons. I like the flexibility and living in the moment. I like the rush of adrenaline I get in the moment. But I also like the finality of words. I like the timelessness and thoughtfulness inherent in crafting a story.  They are quite different and feel good for very different reasons. If all things were equal (meaning I didn't have to tour constantly and endanger my hearing on a regular basis) and I had to pick one, I'd pick the stage. In all seriousness, I really love being on stage. I am a performer.

But all things aren't equal. I can't run outside and find a stage (I'm not a street musician - the stress is too much!). I can't handle the idea of touring for months on end in a bus, living with a schedule that rivals most teens' wildest dreams. I'd become a crazed zombie. It would be ugly.

Writing, on the other hand, is my home. It's a homebody craft. It's something I can do at any time, in any place (at least in theory). It's effect might be forever, but it's also instantaneous. In a moment I can reach millions (again, in theory) whereas a stage performance will only reach as far as the last row of chairs. 

For these reasons, and the love of my inner ear, I choose writing. I choose forever. I'm that kind of girl.

Otown - the Good and the Annoying

Doing whatever you want has pluses and minuses. For example, at Oakland Art Murmur this past Friday, walking down the street we became included in a stranger's conversation about emotions and decisions. This was cool. We also made a friend at a bar, who took us to another bar where we heard a cool local band (Kapowski). These are pluses. Unfortunately, someone in our neighborhood didn't pick up after their dog who shat all over Christian's motorcycle cable. A stationwagon consistently parks exactly where Christian's cable is, preventing him from parking on the street (his bike is currently on the sidewalk). These are negatives. But, this is Oakland, and people clearly do what they want.

I'm not sure exactly how I feel about it. Life, after all, is really about the day to day. Sure, big things are influential, but life is the summation of those little moments. It's why laundry is imortant, and taking out the garbage. It's why holding hands is important. So, those little negatives...repeating...do impact quality of life. I haven't decided how much, however.

Maybe if I put a note on that person's car they'd get the hint? Or would it make them angry? Or ashamed? Should I leave a note on the tree in front of my stoop asking people nicely to pick up their dog's poop? Do I need to sit outside every morning typing away on my laptop to make sure people don't let their dogs poop on our things? You'd think this was common courtesy...but apparently I need to enforce it.

It is Oakland, however. People do what they want.

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This Quantum Life - It's Getting Better

I have become increasingly convinced in the power of quantum physics.

Okay, take this with a grain of salt because I am a lay person and have never studied physics. But I do know this - what you expect is what will happen, once you observe it. Except it needs to cook a little first.

The physicists (along with everyone else) will be making this face now:

Frankly, I don't blame them, but let me explain.

If you put enough thought into something it will happen, because you want it to happen. The catch is, you have to be unattached. You have to care without caring. You have to let the thing sit unobserved for a while. Eventually it will happen and before you even realize it. Pretty cool, huh?

Unless you've experienced this firsthand, it's pretty unbelievable. Even when it's happening, you might not really believe it. But it is. In fact, it's sort of happening for me right now. I wanted to start putting myself out there, but I wasn't sure how it was going to work. I wanted to be active and out in the world, but that's hard to do when you only know a few people. So I put up Craigslist ads. I got a friend from that, and a professional contact as well. This past weekend a bunch of friends and family were in the area and connected both Christian and I with a few more people in the area. Every day I've had something new to do and something new to try. It's been amazing!

Alameda Canal

If you had asked me a month ago if this would happen now, I probably would have shrugged and nodded without completely believing it would happen. No, it doesn't surprise me. It is better than I expected, however. And like many things, it happened all at once.

So now I'm writing lyrics for The Brothers' soundtrack and going to work on an unrelated single. I started designing t-shirts. I'm finishing up another book. I made some new friends. I'm working out regularly. My apartment is starting to feel like home. Christian has a job he loves and is working on some of his own projects. Life is good, and it's only going to get better.

Home Sweet Home? Bakersfield!?

I am moving to Bakersfield. It's true. When we compared the shop and the cost of living to other places, the offer they made to us was just so much better, we couldn't turn it down.

So here I find myself on the brink of an adventure I didn't expect I'd be having - Bakersfield. Bakersfield. Bakersfield.

For someone coming from Santa Barbara, East Bay, or even Scottsdale, Bakersfield doesn't seem very attractive.  And the reality is, it isn't. I mean, let's be honest.  The economy hit it hard. It's in the middle of corporate farms, and it's a shipping center for the central valley of California. When you go into mall bathrooms, it smells like the lovely burnt Barbie hair smell of recently enjoyed Meth.

All these things ARE true. BUT, Bakersfield is a city of over 300,000 people. There are all kinds of things to do there. I will be able to not only be financially solvent, but close to family, and find people I can be friends with.  It will happen. Definitely. It just won't be like East Bay where I walked into a pub and felt at home instantly. This is mostly because I don't wear Stetsons or embossed riding boots.  I don't listen to Country music. I didn't even know who Buck Owens was until we started looking at living in Bakersfield.


So, Monday I'll go there again, look at apartments and get ready to learn a lot more about Country music. Because it's going to happen. I don't think I could stop it, not in home sweet home Bako.

Paintings for Show Opening Friday

In case you didn't gather, I have an art show! It's opening Friday at the Cambridge Drive Concert Series 550 Cambridge Drive in Goleta(this concert has Owen Plant opening for the Koles).  So if you want to go see an awesome concert as well as some awesome art, you should give them a call (805-964-0436) and reserve your tickets! If for some reason you can't make the concert, you can still check out my art which will hang for the rest of May!

Bamboo Stand, Summer 2011

These pics are some of the pieces that will be in the show.  I really hope you will come and check them out in person (and take one home if you really like it!).

Coral, Summer 2011

And here is one more to give you another idea of the variety to be seen.  The theme is going to be an exploration of nature developed through form and color. 

Spring Hills, Summer 2011

Hope to see you at the show!

St. Patrick's Day - From An Irish-American Perspective

I'm in the middle of research.  This is taking me very close to Irish Culture and also far away.  But in the spirit of Irish Americans and Irish pride, I'll offer a few tid bits that I've discovered recently.

St. Patrick's Day has been celebrated to some extent for approximately 1000 years in order to honor St. Patrick's life. There are theories postulating that several bishops' lives were rolled into one legend about a single person, St. Patrick, however there was at least one historical person named Patrick.  This is because while there are many legends and stories about the saint, there are few primary sources to support claims about his life.

When you think about St. Patrick's day, usually the first thing we think of is the shamrock.  This actually references a parable the saint used to explain the Trinity when Patrick spoke with the Irish people.  It seems strange to think that a Christian reference would lose so much of its meaning, and yet become such a cultural icon. 

While the holiday is generally associated with the saint himself in Ireland, the Irish diaspora uses St. Patrick's day as more of a celebration of Irish culture and the nation of Ireland.  Often people will say that anyone can be Irish on St. Patrick's day, though someone who is ethnically Irish might be upset with such sentiment. One of the most important symbols of Ireland is not in fact a shamrock, but the harp.  If you've ever been fortunate enough to listen to Gaelic, you know it is a musical language full of beautiful vowels and rolling consonants.  If you've read anything about Celtic culture, you also know that poetry and song has always been a part of life.  The harp has been a staple instrument for Celtic music for a long time, being one of the oldest instruments in the world.  It's on the label of everyone's favorite Irish beer. Harps are much more universal than shamrocks.

I've always been a harp kind of girl, never having been Catholic, but always having been part Irish. For me, someone in the diaspora, St. Patrick's day is more about celebrating Irish culture and the rich and beautiful history of the Emerald Isle. So I'll listen to some fiddle, harp, and maybe some hand drums.  I'll drink a nice dark stout, and I'll dream of the Fir Bolg and Tuatha de Danaan. Also I'll wish my sister-in-law a happy birthday.  Seems like a reasonable plan for an Irish-American.

Organ Recital at Grace Cathedral - Culture for Free in the Bay

Our continued adventures in San Francisco took us to Nob Hill today and Grace Cathedral. We checked out Fun and Cheap in SF and found that Grace was holding a free organ recital. It's been some time since I've been in a cathedral, but my father was the minister of a downtown first church which was as close as Baptists can get to a cathedral.  Along with the dark cavernous Gothic architecture, I also grew up with an organ that you could walk through.

Needless to say it had been a long time since I had seen huge stained glass windows, flying buttresses, and large blocks of stone, let alone heard organ music that caused everything in 100 yard radius to vibrate.  We decided that a free concert would be worth the trip.  So we dressed up a little and headed across the Bay to Nob Hill.  We found a parking space on one of the steeply graded hills and squeezed our compact car next to the curve with some difficulty. 

Grace Cathedral has two labyrinths, one inside and one in a courtyard next to the main entrance of the sanctuary. Just inside, to the right there was and entrance to a chapel and some tapestries hanging on the columns.  The church had roped off the sanctuary passed the door to help control random visitors.  Christian and I were greeted by a man with programs.  Apparently there had been a singing group an hour earlier which we had missed.  I wasn't sorry about that, though looking at the church website, it's clear they have quite the eclectic series of musical acts that perform.  Today we had the pleasure of an accomplished organist, Gail Archer.

The music, by Franz Liszt, wasn't my favorite.  I would have preferred Mendelssohn or Bach.  Still, it was nice to hear the organ, even with typical Cathedral acoustics.  It was nice to be transported while taking in the stone columns and the gorgeous stained glass.  Below the windows were strange frescoes depicting political and church related scenes which seemed like a farse when viewed along with the windows showing iconic figures and the ornamental stone carvings decorating each column. I found myself thinking about all manner of things, about the church, about Catholicism (even though this church was Anglican), about my history with churches, and the different magical worlds created with each swell in the music.

Once it was over, I found myself wishing I could walk the labyrinth and explore the church grounds. Unfortunately it had begun a steady rain sometime during the second or third piece.  Grace is worth visiting, both the cathedral and the concept.  It's a beautiful space that has many things to offer (despite any problematic acoustics that might exist in the sanctuary). Any time you miss the sacred spaces of European Christendom, there's always an excellent specimen in downtown San Fransisco to visit that has great music.

OMCA Launch Party - Mixed Demographics

Last night I went to the Oakland Museum of California.  The museum was throwing a free launch party, complete with talks from artists, performances, food, $3 micro-brews, and a DJ from 10 pm to 1 am.

We arrived late missing the majority of the talks (which my friend billed as edgy artsy affairs). When we arrived, there was a line to get a little square sticker with a man posed like a flying superhero along with a wrist band allowing us to get our micro-brews.  Once through the line, we went to the large white beer tent, complete with multi-color LEDs changing hue every few seconds.  After getting a couple of Prohibition Ambers, I took a good look around at the fellow attendees.  Apparently I hadn't gotten the memo.

I was wearing a lot of fuchsia, which didn't really go with the others' black t-shirts, square glasses, and asymmetrical bangs.  Having taken too long in the line for beer, we missed the performances as well as the edgy art talks.  This was slightly disappointing because I heard they were really good, but they were so crowded that it was nearly impossible to see anything unless you were 7 feet tall.

So, we waited a few minutes more to get into the dance party.  Unfortunately the music wasn't really dance music - unless you came of age in 1968.  This was upsetting because I was really hoping for some good dance music, after all, 3$ beers is definitely the cheapest night out we've had. On top of the strange music choices and poor transitions between songs, once I left the room to use the facilities, it was next to impossible to get back in because they had more than reached capacity.  A person might have thought your superhero sticker would have guaranteed your entrance into the dance area without any hassle.  It seemed they hadn't accounted for the turn-out or the space required for the large hipster contingent that crashed long after the stickers had all been given out.

Once I got back in, my friends wanted to leave.  It didn't make sense to wait around in line any more, because even if they changed their minds, the line to get into the dance floor was so long it was likely most people wouldn't get in for the rest of the night. I left feeling rather disappointed.

You could say this was an incredibly successful event as attendance was so high, or you could say that it was meant for a much smaller group of people consisting primarily of museum sponsors (many of whom were graying and actually in attendance on the dance floor) and therefore was a disaster.  For my part, I was just disappointed by the disconnect and the lack of foresight about the potential attendance.  Perhaps this would have been a better event if it had included surrounding buildings and been more of a block party, or if they had limited entrance.  Despite the disappointment, it was a good idea.  For this reason alone, I hope they learn from the mistakes of this event and continue to have similar events for Oakland and East Bay in the future.

Art is a Human Thing

There are three purposes to making any sort of art.

1. To make something beautiful. This can be relegated to decorative arts including marketing and pop art forms.
2. To express the depth and breadth of human experience. This is where emotional movements come into play and things like art therapy, a brilliant development in modern medicine.
3. To make political, social, or cultural commentary. This can be avant garde movements, or it can be pieces that represent any style or combination of styles as long as the subject matter pushing boundaries, questions the nature of a given subject, or otherwise confronts an issue.

All three of these are essential needs of humanity as a whole. We need beautiful things, as evidenced by science, they nurture our spirit. Likewise we need to express ourselves, to create things. This helps us resolve our own issues and resonates with those perceiving our art. Finally, in order to make the world a better place and continue to stimulate humanity's growth, it is essential we have people who question society, politics, and culture.

Some might rank these in various orders of importance but the reality is they are all important, all very much needed. Art is an essential thing. It is necessary for our psychological and spiritual health as individuals and as a species. Art is one of the things that separates us from animals. It is a human thing. So I say, go out and make something. Be as human as you can be - create!

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Artists aren't Crazy! The Artist as Change Agent

Crazy or artist? Cake or death? It kind of seems like the same thing.  Condemnation or liberation.

After I watched Beautiful Losers, I felt like I had been affirmed.  Here were these artists doing crazy things by anyone's standards.  They were doing things outside of the mundane, things that just couldn't fit into average daily life.  Squatting in a NYC storefront, deciding to make it into an art gallery by hanging art in it and having parties regularly, tagging walls all over the place, videoing things that didn't follow typical storylines... To the average person, these things seem crazy.  To me they were "Of course." 

Let me first say that for the purposes of this discussion, we will say "artist" is any creative fringe person in society which includes filmmakers, writers, painters, musicians, animators, actors, and potentially comedians. Let us say "crazy" will be "mentally ill."

Artists aren't crazy.  They're different.  Yes, we could say that within any demographic there is a certain element of people who are mentally ill.  Fine.  But artists aren't any more mentally ill than anyone else.  They just happen to be different.  And let's be honest.  Different is scary. 

Society isn't based on difference (and don't talk to me about pluralism or cosmopolitanism, because that is superficial - we're talking about something much deeper).  Society is based on conformity.  It counts on people choosing to marry, to have babies at a certain time, to buy houses or rent apartments.  It isn't just conformity to a certain skin tone or religion, but in all actions.  There are rules that society requires we follow in order to maintain social order.  It counts on people following the network of laws and social rules.  Society wants things to conform, sometimes so much so there is a willingness to purge difference. Just look at all of the white power and tea-bagging groups out there.  They don't like different, they like the same. There is a strong need to homogenize.  Society is built on all these things.  It is a balancing act.  Society finds an equilibrium and keeps it.  Artists function as a change agent.  They push the boundaries of what is socially acceptable, cause the equilibrium to shift, and necessarily, that is uncomfortable for most people. 

So why are artists called crazy? For starters, they are labeled "crazy" because they must be delegitimized.  They must be relegated to the realm of crazy because in our society crazy has no power.  Literally calling an artist crazy makes them less powerful, less threatening.  It also necessarily informs people this group is a wild card.  "Crazy" people are unknowns.  It is not clear what they will do or how they will act.  Thirdly, artists do things we do not understand.  By calling them "crazy" we are attaching some reason to their actions as opposed to investigating the rationale behind them. We are no longer required to be curious as to reasoning for an artist's choices because they are "crazy."  Finally, an artist will often call themselves crazy because it allows them to fill the social role of the "jester." In this role, the artist is able to speak truth to power quite openly without fear of reprisal because their perceived weakness.  Still, because their critique is often so open, bald, and biting, power will tend to take their words under advisement, which is more than many can claim.

As an artist, creative in many media, I find I am often on the border of what is socially acceptable, particularly in my life choices.  I tend to take risks where others would stay home.  I may say things or question common conventions that others find uncomfortable.  I married outside of my social class, which is something many still today find discomfiting.  I have dabbled in any number of things which would make the average American WASP cringe, raise brows, or drop jaws.  This is all "of course" for me.  I mean, I want a job to allow me to write, because I see writing as my real vocation.  My calling is writing.  And that's weird.  It's crazy.  But my words will be taken under advisement, and that's good enough for me.

Success - 10,000 Hours and Concerted Cultivation

Two things continue to reverberate in my head - 10,000 hours and concerted cultivation.

When I visited my family for Christmas, my parents were listening to Outliers on CD. Seeing as they commute about an hour daily, they like to catch up on the reading for which they rarely have time.  As such, I ended up listening to some of the book.  It has left a lasting impression.  How do I know if I am guaranteed success in writing?

It is clear that most people will never be successful in any kind of comparative way.  Success means different things to different people, but culturally, outstanding achievement is an agreed upon state.  If you have outsold so many people in your service or product, if you have the car, the house, the spouse, the amazing children, the bank account, and the list goes on, you are considered successful.  Blown out of the water, balls to the wall successful. This is a rarefied state.  Mr. Gladwell sheds some light on just how rare it is. You see, talent, carefully honed by thousands and thousands of hours of practice, that leads to success.  That is, when it is combined by the right place and time.  There is an element of chance.  Yes, it is possible for people to pull themselves up by their bootstraps, at least in theory.  But even still, all systems have to be go.  Everything has to work in that person's favor in order for them to reach the top of heap in whatever area of expertise in which they compete.

A certain style of parenting helps that (concerted cultivation).  That is, when parents see a child's interest in a thing and then facilitate the development of that child's skills in the activity.  So, I blame my parents that I am not a better dancer.  Let me explain.  I don't mean that it is all their fault that I never really tried at dance.  And honestly I have no delusions about my body shape infiltrating the ballet.  Truly, they wouldn't know what to do with these curves.  However, when I was a very small child, I told my mother I wanted to dance.  Rather than taking me to dance classes at the age of three, they thought it was cute and let me play with whatever toy I had at the time.  My parents never took me to any dance classes. 

Now, I did go on to learn how to dance some things, but it has taken some concerted effort on my part to even be a reasonable dancer.  I had to learn street dance from the kids in my schools.  I had to seek out lessons on my own, which I rarely felt comfortable doing because I never really learned how to use my body movement to its fullest advantage.  As it is, I am not very quick at picking up steps (or at least not quick in any kind of competitive way, though I might be faster than the average person).  I love to dance.  When I dance at a club, I really perform to the people there.  I dance hard.  When I am at home, by myself, if I dance I don't go nearly to the extent I might if I were dancing in front of a large group.  I love the performance of the thing.  If I had started dancing when I was three, I might have been a performer.  Maybe I would have gone to Bard for dance instead of art.  Maybe I would have gone on to choreograph or start my own company.  It's hard to know.  My parents didn't think it a good thing to do for a child, start them out so young on an activity.  That they didn't reward me by taking me to dance classes encouraged my silence on other things I wanted to do. 

I did however, spend hours and hours drawing and painting.  I did spend hours and hours singing.  I spent hours and hours writing.  All of these things I continue to do to this day on a daily basis.  These things were encouraged and so I was well on my way to mastery (and continue to be so).   They were also things that I could do without the aid of a class (though of course, classes helped hone these skills).  They were things with which no one could interfere or take away from me.  Short of rendering me brain damaged, removing my vocal chords, or cutting off my hands, I will always be able to do these things.  Concerted cultivation.  Damn it.

The one thing I think was very interesting about Outliers was the discussion of ages and cut-offs for grades and activities. This really got me thinking.  I barely made the age cut-off for my grade!  Mid-November was the youngest you could be to go into kindergarten.  My mother, seeing how sharp I was, put me in anyway.  After all, I was sharp for my age.  Why should I be held back when I could hack it with the other kids? 

Even though I was almost an entire year younger than my classmates, I graduated in the top 10% of my class in high school.  I always made As.  I always did well, even without the 11 extra months holding back would have given me, I still gave the older more mature kids a run for their money.  I wonder what would have happened if my mother would have held me back one year...what would have changed.  Well, for one thing, the Academically Talented Program at P.S. 16 in Albany wouldn't have been in existence for my grade.  I would have missed it.  That would have meant a lot less interesting classwork from 4th - 6th grade.  Then who knows how junior high would have turned out... it could have gone either way.  Everything is chance.  Do I regret that my mother put me in school when I could absolutely handle it? Not at all.  I think I would have been bored in school if my parents hadn't put me in when they did.  Still, I am a little disappointed about not taking dance classes. 

Knowing what I know now, I want to make sure all doors are open for any children I may have (adopted or biological). The earlier a child expresses interest in a thing, the earlier I want to allow them to participate in activities that hone those skills.  That extra time gives that child an edge towards mastery that otherwise wouldn't exist.  With an edge, you are more likely to go on to be highly successful.  BOOM! There it is.  The advantage.  The more advantages the better. Because let's be honest.  This is not a meritocracy.  Success is reliant on a convergence of very specific circumstances.  Better to stack the ones you have control over as much as possible, and deal with the ones you can't.

Next Gen of Awesome

It's weird to grow up.  Mostly because I see these people I spent my formative years with and they're doing all kinds of amazing things. I'm filled with wonder at my acquaintances/friends/schoolmates/relatives and their abilities.  You can never know where you'll end up, what you'll do, or who you will become.  There are clues and hints along the way, but only so many people hit that sweet spot. It appears that a number of people I knew were lucky and smart enough to find it.

If someone had told an earlier version of me that Odain would be on the cover of Billboard, or Dan would be touring the world playing folk music, or that Eli would be rapping in French, or that Elizabeth would be singing opera all over the world I would have probably laughed.  It's too unbelievable, and frankly, it's just too fricking AWESOME. That doesn't happen to people you know - those are the pipe dreams of children that are impossible to realize. They are the dreams that get sideswiped and instead people become middle managers or cube monkeys. Yet all these things are true. Dreams can come true, and have.

Those are just four people from different times and places in my life that have done great things, and there are so many more.  I find myself being motivated and inspired by these awesome people who I grew up with because they too are pursuing their creative passions with success.  If I can do the same thing with writing, I feel like I will have made it. 

So now, after having landed a job that will actually support Christian and I, I feel free to really let go and write.  That was the main thing that was holding me back the last few months.  It's amazing what stress about your basic needs will do to your creative process.  Now I see the steps laying themselves out in front of me and I find myself feeling safe in my choices in a way that I couldn't previously.  It's an intense relief.  My shoulders can now peel themselves off my ears.  Thank GOD.  My words are tumbling out more quickly than I can type them, thousands of them winding their way to Phoenix Rising.  Once it's done, the editing process begins.  When that's done, the selling myself to publishers and agents begins.  From there I feel like it will be a quick jump to movies and the next book.  The sky is truly the limit.  The path is clear.  I can walk now.

Come on, let's DANCE!

Pandora is blasting in my ear.  It's good that you can have tailored music along with sun in Hayward.  Even in the morning. It makes a person dance.  Well, the music in particular makes you dance, even if the sun is blocked by your window treatments.

When I was finishing my bachelor degree, and even to some extent while I was pursuing my masters, I would dance in my room. It was a daily occurrence.  This was especially true when I was bored or if I had pent up energy.Growing up in an urban setting, I was exposed to a lot of popular dance forms from the 'hood. This meant a combination of West African folk, pop lockin, general hip hop, and break dancing.  Occasionally you'd see someone swing some glow sticks around for the one techno song.  In college I added to my repetoire by including belly dancing, swing and salsa. I was friends with a bunch of international students and we would conjure a boom box and take it to one of the large halls in a dorm and dance to whatever MP3s we had on hand.  This meant primarily a mixture of Latin and hip hop. At the international parties you could add in some arabic and techno as well as the few select groups that fused various ethnic music (i.e. World).

SF Dance Fest

Since I hadn't been dancing as much as I used to in front of a larger mirror,  I decided to change that.  Since I've been dancing in front of my large mirror in my living room to a mix that Pandora only knows, I seem to be a bit happier (if also more toned).  You see, moving in a beat makes you happy.  It is something your body knows well - everything in the body is done with rhythm.  So when you move just to move in a beat, it just magnifies what your body is doing normally.  Singing along often helps too (again the creation of rhythms has a similar effect to moving in a rhythm). 

I'm sharing this with you because I think the world needs more dancing.  When I was in Punjab some of my friends would randomly break out into Bhangra in cafes, restaurants, and even the street if there was music available. My dad and I used to dance in stores both because we liked the music playing, but also because we wanted to embarass my brother.  This only worked until he started dancing too, which wasn't a loss, because it meant more people were dancing in the store. I like that.  More people should do that. They wouldn't need to take so much prozac.

Launching Paintings... PULL!

Well I caved. Or... I stepped it up.  I guess that all depends on how you look at things.  So far I'm still poor as I haven't gotten any nibbles on jobs, but I do have all my art supplies and a few paintings that are done.  So I'm going to take pictures of them all and put them up on the free version of Artfire (if you look around they kind of trick you into thinking there is only the pro version but I'm on to them...).  So on my design page of this blog I'll have a widget (with any luck) linking directly to my Artfire studio.  That way, if you're just curious or if you're interested you can take a peek at what I've been doing or have done. 

It also looks like I may be showing at the Cambridge Drive Concert Series in Santa Barbara at some point.  Look for that if you live in SB (P.S. my dad's booking for it and he has AMAZING taste in music so it is BOUND to be a really good set of shows).

Once you see some of my work, please let me know if you have any good ideas of galleries and places to show.  I'm particularly interested in cafes.  My art goal at the moment is to get my work into a boutique hotel.  Anyone who knows a cool hotel or inn I can court is encouraged to pipe up.  If I get anything that big, believe me there will be fringe benefits for the connector.  I will love you forever.

So today is going to be spent taking pictures of pictures... and then uploading them.  Wish me luck!

Retro v. Techno, Alexis style: Take 2

It's hard to find good musical partners.  There is a courtship process, just as there is with friends and lovers.  In music it can be more difficult because of  "creative difference." That's short hand for too big egos butting against each other due to contrary vision.  If visions or personalities don't mesh, it just won't work. I kept this in mind when pursuing my musical partner.

So I went to Berkeley - land of students, mom & pop shops, organic produce, and parking that without a permit can only last 2 hours. I met my techno collaborator, who is cool and from India.  We bonded instantly over music and Indian culture.  It was awesome!  We also had a lot of the same thoughts and ideas about the direction of music while he taught me a little more about the nuances of techno vocals and how they're different than vocals in other genres.

Next week we're going to try to do some recording. So far so good. Once the track is up and out and available I'll link to it etc.  With any luck, it will go well and we'll work on some other music together.

Retro v. Techno, Alexis style

My stomach is breeding butterflies.  It might be the coffee, or it might be that I am going to UC Berkeley's campus later today.  Why am I visiting the bastion of hippy and militant student protest? The land of stinky weed, tie-dye, scholarly pursuits, and organic produce? Nothing intellectual I assure you.  I gave up that vice a few years ago.  No this is something much more nervous making.  Give me a class filled with undergraduates any day and I'll talk circles around them.  Give me a young South Asian electronic artist and we're closer to the problem, and the excitement.

I grew up in the Hudson Valley.  It is one of the two most folk musically rich places in the country, the other being in Western Massachusetts (for a general introduction to American folk click here or here.).  I performed with my dad in music festivals, coffee houses, and bars all over New England and in some other locations which are more surprising (Des Moines?!).  We even recorded a few CDs - one when I was fifteen and another when I was seventeen.

I got tired of folk music (though it will always hold a special place in my heart), and as I grew up I wanted to experiment with different music genres.  In college I had a few friends who did some jazz/funk/rnb with a huge band.  I got to sing backup and lead for a few performances and had a total blast.  I discovered the type of music my voice is MADE for.  It was too much fun.  I hadn't realized how relaxed and silly you could be on stage until I played with those guys.  It's an entirely different dynamic than writing and performing music with your parent (no offense Dad).  It was exactly what I wanted out of music moving forward and unfortunately it couldn't last. College has a definite end which came way too soon. 

In Phoenix I tried to get into music, but nothing gelled and I felt like it was a lost cause as I was planning on leaving after 2 years. Even though I desperately wanted to start playing again, it wasn't the right time. Here in East Bay, Christian and I are seriously thinking about putting down roots.  So I began looking for a few different avenues for a musical outlet.  But what type of music should I pursue? East Bay is to artistic expression as the Australian Barrier Reef is to coral ecosystems.

But I'm getting ahead of myself. You're probably asking yourself how a folk turned funk singer would have even considered techno vocal parts.  It's no mystery. When I started dating Christian he immediately exposed me to the world of techno.  I've always liked music with a beat - anything I can dance to makes me happy, especially if it has a good vocal part (what can I say, I'm a singer). Regardless of the level of lyrical wisdom a good beat and interesting composition gets me every time. I became enamored with such greats as Bob Sinclair, Paul Oakenfold, and Benny Benassi. The Ministry of Sound annual became one of the most anxiously awaited musical moments of my year. I think we have three of them in MP3 form on our flash drive in the car. Year after year of this got me thinking, if I could sing techno vocal parts, that would be amazingly fun and I wouldn't necessarily have to go on tour all the time (which is why I never pursued the singer songwriter bit - I hate doing performance after performance).  I even contemplated attempting to tackle Fruity Loops and drum up some beats myself, but I wasn't sure I had the patience.

Enter Craigslist and the infamous ad to which I responded in "gigs." I had been searching daily for something and Mr. Berkeley had placed an ad for a female vocalist in his techno project.  Sweet! Somehow I convinced him with my unusual voice to collaborate with me on this project.  It wasn't his first choice, because my voice is not a typical breathy, flat Alice DJ type of voice.  I've got soul. It required some reimagining on his part, for which I am thankful.

So here I am, in my late twenties, a former folk singer songwriter, going to meet a Berkeley student (who I have a sneaking suspicion is an undergrad) to collaborate on a techno project.  This could either be brilliant, or a really bad idea.  Cross your fingers and wish me luck.  I'll let you know how it goes.

P.S. I don't think the coffee helped my nerves.