I'm moving!

I'm moving!

This is my formal announcement: starting next Monday (August 17, 2015), I will blog on my author site, www.alexisdonkin.com. I will no longer post new items on this site, however I will continue to hold this site for archival purposes.

Note: My subscription button in the sidebar to the right will connect you to my active newsletter.

End of an Era

It's been five years since I began this blog and a lot has happened. I declared my intention to be a writer. I screwed up - a lot. I got better. I published a ton of books. I mastered many skills and continue to research, read, and try new things. And I keep getting better because of this.

I am proud of what I have accomplished, and I feel it is time to graduate from my hobbyist beginnings into a more professional and streamlined approach. So come over to the site, check out all the goodies there, in addition to the blog, and sign up for my newsletter to get all the latest (as well as periodic subscriber only goodies).

Thanks for sticking with me and sending good thoughts on this next phase of my professional journey.

THRIVE: 5 Sites for Strength & Light

Strength & light

Sometimes, even those of us who have done some serious self-work need a little more inspiration to get over the rough stuff.

This is why I wrote THRIVE: HOW I BECAME A SUPERHERO in the first place - I wanted others to know it was possible to transform suffering, in multiple types of situations. And as I've been talking up the book, so many different inspiring people and resources came into my life. So I wanted to share some of that with you. Here are five sites that can give your life a little more strength and light, no matter where you are in your journey:

• Defying Shadows' series #WeAllHaveAStory - I discovered this through my fellow blogger Amy. This is an AMAZING undertaking with guest posts from many people, all sharing their different inspiring stories. It is definitely worth a read for inspiration and guidance on how to transform into an everyday superhero.
• Some Talk of You and Me posts in the health and wellness category are of particular interest to those of us wanting to THRIVE. There are some great personal essays that show different journeys of self-acceptance, persistence, and resilience in the face of life obstacles.
• The Manifest-Station is a personal favorite. This is an online zine that is full of powerful, raw, empowering personal essays by women. Some posts are hard to read, but I always find myself renewed after I read something on this site. It is a spiritual experience and inspires a sense of solidarity between readers and contributors.
• The Honeyed Quill is a similar site to mine in that it mixes things like writing advice and experience, with resilience and healing work (such as contained in THRIVE). In fact, Shawna is working on a trauma writing workshop, which I think will be a great resource for people committed to the hard work of healing.
• I have to give a shout-out to Amy at Allspice and Acrylics, because honestly, she is really amazing. This woman has an incredible will and inspiring story. Every time I read her words or interact with her, I feel her bubbling over with life and passion. I think it comes through in everything she does (I'm sure you'll agree when you check out her blog!).

Do you have other sites that give strength and light to your life? Something that helped you thrive? Leave a comment below!

If you like what you read, be sure to visit my author website and donate or become a patron. Your support makes my writing possible!

THRIVE Launched, Now What?

I've got a lot further to go.

I've been struggling the last few weeks. In the wake of THRIVE's publication, total exhaustion set in. I want to get a whole bunch of things done. I want to work. I know there are things I should be doing. I know this.

I think part of me felt like I hit my milestone and that was that. The project was over and I could space out. And it was a lot of work. And some of it paid off, but mostly it was just the beginning of a larger lead up to more things....which mean the dividends haven't come in yet.

I've been reading a lot about this, especially through my author forums, which have proved invaluable (for which I thank Clara, as strategic a person in thought as I am in feeling). In these forums, muckety mucks slum around with us peons. And it is great for the peons, and gives perspective to the muckety mucks. We find out how much more we have to do, and they realize how much they've done.

I have to say, honestly, it can be disheartening. I am at a disadvantage with what I am able to do (limited primarily by resources). But there are also things that encourage me - such as the reminder that this process is never over. Books do not stop selling - and with the internet, they can always reach more readers. There is always someone else who has not heard of me (Okay, in my case, at this point there are probably around 7 billion, but even for the famous author, there are probably 2 or 3B.).

This is actually a good thing because it means I can always do more for a book - there is always more that could lead to sales. Also it is a bad thing, because, well, it is never done.

Right now, after the insane push I made with THRIVE, some part of me thought the momentum was already there. That I could sit back and enjoy THRIVE having a life of its own. But I'm not there yet. I've hardly begun. It feels like the week after mid-terms where the tests are done, but there's another half semester to go. The nights of studying are not over. The note-taking is hardly finished. And I have no energy. And I'm struggling to get FAMILY FRIEND OR FOE rewritten, which while turning into an excellent book, is going much slower than I'd like. I have until August 2nd to finish the manuscript and upload it to Smashwords (incidentally, you should preorder it to get the 20% off price before it goes live!).

And after that I need to work on ANDREW, and redo all the Rollins Pack covers, and revamp all those books, and finish proofing SIX DEGREES.

And while all this is going on, I need to continue working on speaking engagements about THRIVE, guest posts about everything, possibly blog hops, and remembering to eat and sleep... sometime.

When I do all that, not only will I feel damn accomplished, but I will have transformed my life. And that is incredibly exciting, but it is also a lot of work. And I need to keep reminding myself that it is worth it. I need to keep developing better systems for getting everything done that needs doing, that assures forward progress.

Here's to efficiency, effectiveness, encouragement, and energy! And crossing my fingers I get all four in hand...and soon!

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Transform your life and heal through my memoir and small steps for 32 days!

Get digital copies of THRIVE: HOW I BECAME A SUPERHERO and TRANSFORM TO THRIVE: 32 DAYS FROM VICTIM TO SUPERHERO!

You can also get paperback copies of both the memoir and journal.

THRIVE Book Launch Week 11: Blistered and Limping

Last week time sped up. Things were all timey-wimey. I experienced about two weeks in the span of seven days, and yet, got very little done for my books. Or at least, that is how I feel.

My nutrition was off. My sleep was off. My work was off. For the last few days I've felt like I've got a hangover, and yet, I didn't have the pleasure of drinking. It's all the punishment, with none of the pleasure.

So unfair.

Needless to say, even while in the midst of this whirlwind, I've had some points of light. It has been hard to focus on them, because frankly I've had a hard time focusing on anything at all. That said, some time last week I had a brilliant idea.

I started contacting victim advocacy organizations about listing my books on their resource pages, doing blog posts, and or talking at their events. Their missions are in line with my goals for THRIVE, and that resonated. I got one that invited me to do a blog post, and one that said they would review my press kit. Seeing as I only emailed three, I felt that was a pretty good response. It seems that direction is something I need to continue to pursue. And along those lines, I need to connect with other organizations doing things on other topics within THRIVE.

It's kind of easy to find organizations working with survivors of sexual abuse. Not easy to search for the bend I'm looking working on homelessness, unemployment, and even less so with "whiteness." Hopefully I'll have some kind of epiphany of search terms this week to figure out connections for other outlets. In the mean time, I need to recover from last week. So, unfortunately, the week leading up to my digital release, is also the week I'm dragging from other things in life.

Isn't that just the way?

It is the last little bit of the marathon, and I have enormous blisters covering my feet. I'm dehydrated. I'm limping. I've got a stitch in my side. I am that stumbling runner. I'm so close, and yet it feels like every step is full of pain.

And I wonder, is the pain all worth it? When I get to the finish, will I be proud? Or just relieved that it's over?

But of course, this is just one race in a series of races. Promoting THRIVE doesn't end on June 15 with the release of the ebook. There is the speaking tour I'm gingerly putting together for next year. There are the videos I've finally prioritized with Christian to get done. There are the audio books I need to record and master. There are the organizations I need to contact, the posts I need to write... and the list goes on.

And that's just THRIVE. I have so many other writing projects this could be my full time job, plus some. It is daunting. But I'm getting ahead of myself. I can't think that far, not yet. Right now I have to concentrate on one foot in front of the other. This is the first marathon. I have to finish as strong as I can.

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LAUNCH UPDATE

Despite the craziness of everything in the past week, I was able to get the following done:

• Researched victim organizations
• Contacted victim organizations
• Wrote post and submitted to one of the above.
• Wrote first draft of submission for writing blog related to THRIVE.
• Contacted friends at universities about speaker fees
• Posted to author forum about speaker fees etc
• Did social media blitz for several days on THRIVE.
• Blog posts
• Wrote and posted exclusive story to Patreon.
• Began rewriting FAMILY FRIEND OR FOE.

 This week I'd like to do the following:

• Contact friends personally about the book - either through social media or email or both (LAUNCH DAY IS NEXT MONDAY!).
• Contact more victim organizations about resource listings, guest posts, and guest speaking.
• Follow up with friend about radio appearance.
• Follow up with contact about speaking appearance.
• Send out inquiries about speaking appearances at local organizations related to THRIVE content.
• Send out social media blast about THRIVE.
• Rewrite post for web zine/blog and submit.
• Send email blast on launch day.
• Blog.

I think that is more than enough. If I'm lucky, I'll get some videos done, but I don't know how things will go in the evening. It's one of those things that I feel like everything is so full, so intense, I'm not sure how much energy I'll have at the end of the day. And I'm pretty spent right now. I have a major case of energy drain. I have to get back on track, which considering the timing, might be difficult to do. We'll see. I'm crossing my fingers and counting on the support of many to make this happen.

When there is a good purpose, I believe things happen. This will test my belief...and that's a little scary.

THRIVE Book Launch Week 8: Indie Sadomasochism

Right now I am sitting alone, and I'm not quite sure what to do. I had to fall back on my launch plan and Monday routine to get on track.

I am actually in my room alone, without a toddler, or any immediate obligations and it is jarring in the same way a whirlwind is. I feel out of sorts. I feel off kilter. I feel...lost.

This past week was nothing short of insane. Instead of my declared plan for last week, I went in a radically different direction and got THRIVE and TRANSFORM TO THRIVE formatted and set up for print on demand. Anyone who knows anything about publishing will recognize this is a Herculean task for a creative. It is tedious. It is time-consuming. It requires intense attention to detail. It is entirely too repetitive to be considered anything less than electronic torture.

And I did this twice.

While herding a toddler.

While my parents were out of town.

Around digital pre-order day - the day when I was sending out approximately 180 emails to media and organizations that might be interested in the books.

Needless to say, the process resulted in an insane amount of temper tantrums, both mine and my toddler's. I induced several headaches. I worked to complete exhaustion. By Saturday, I was barely functional. There was a lot of Sesame Street involved, which was a shameless saving grace.

And today I get to order the proofs. Once I get those, I can approve them for print and anyone can purchase a hard copy (including bookstores and libraries).

This was the last big hurdle in my THRIVE publication process. It was the last big hill in my publishing marathon and now I can actually see the finish. While I am still a little nervous about THRIVE's reception (because it discusses many controversial topics) I know I am doing a good thing. I know this is important work. It is why I am focused on this and this alone until it is finished.

It is inspired. The whole conversation is inspired. And I am excited to help people. I am excited to make the world a better place by having this story in it. This puts all the pain and anguish of every aspect of publication into perspective. The torture was temporary. It has passed. And now I am in a time of waiting. Waiting to see - to experience - to watch. And I know, no matter what happens, at least I find fulfillment here.

My soul is at peace.

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LAUNCH UPDATE:

As I said, last week took a weird and slightly unexpected turn. With that in mind, this is what I accomplished:

• Blog posts (plus an extra one)
• Located list of local media outlets
• 180~ emails sent to colleges, organizations, and media outlets about THRIVE
• POD book covers
• POD formatting
• Reviewed POD files
• Set up  POD order pages
• Set up speaking page on site
• Joined a few more author forums
• Read a few publishing articles
• Sent out social media posts on pre-order day

This week:

• Reach out to my mentor/connector
• Follow up on mail error messages from email blast
• Order proofs for THRIVE and TRANSFORM TO THRIVE
• Finish LILITH
• Finish KHLOE book covers
• Upload corrected/revamped KHLOE books
• Send out social media reminders to pre-order THRIVE & TRANSFORM TO THRIVE
• Inquiry bloggers who may be interested in guest posts etc for THRIVE.
• Pitch to sites that have followings interested in THRIVE topics. 
• Blog posts 
• Breathe

I think that's more than enough. Don't you? Especially since a family friend is visiting this coming weekend.  I'm planning on really focusing on the last point. That one is going to be the most important one to remember.

Be sure to reserve your copy of THRIVE: HOW I BECAME A SUPERHERO and TRANSFORM TO THRIVE: 32 DAYS FROM VICTIM TO SUPERHERO!

THRIVE Book Launch Week 7: Pre-order Day & Marathon Madness

I can see it, but it's still so much further....

Last week was slow. Then with Mothers' Day family obligations I ended up doing a lot less than I wanted. And my social media phone app went wonky. And my computer stopped charging consistently. And everything just felt...bleh.

Despite this, I continued to press on. I continued and I found myself talking with a fascinating person who was most unexpected. I don't know what will come of that connection, but I intend to see that through, wherever it leads.

And that is me. Try things. Screw up. Adjust. Try things. Screw up less. Adjust.Try things...ad infinitum.

To some that might seem like a waste of time. However, it is the only way that makes sense to me. I will make mistakes. I know this happens. However, I do not let this stop me from acting. I do not let this hinder my will. I do not let it keep me from reaching. I am so full of vision it is impossible to remain content with any situation. There is always more to do. There is always better. I can always be more.

Some people would just give up, but I refuse.

Is this folly? Madness? Maybe. Only time will tell. But I know that if I didn't try everything I would ache. I would know I didn't try one or two things and that would disappoint me. That would keep me up at night.

This is one of my superpowers - drive. My narrative of suffering chronicled in THRIVE has this theme - my refusal to stay down. My refusal to let anything hold me back. And some people may look at my experiences and wonder how I can see lessons. Some people might wonder how I can step in a pile of shit and ask, "Where is the pony?"

But that is the thing. That is the gift I was given: to see the good and bad anywhere I look. I understand what it is like to feel complete hopelessness. I understand what it is like to feel violated and betrayed by people close to me. I understand what it is like to look at death. I have been to those places. I have walked through them, and come out to the other side to share these stories.

Some people might say this optimism is an opiate, and they would be right.

An opiate is something that helps manage pain. Yes, it could become addictive BUT fundamentally it is meant to help you endure. And so I used my optimism to endure.

I do not feel this is a crutch. I do not feel like it is a problem. When everything breaks down around me, I need to call on that deep inner strength. My optimism helps me summon that power, call it forth, and continue despite everything.

And this week, when everything is precarious...I need it more than ever. I'm almost to the finishline. Now is not the time to shut down. 

Now is the time to push harder.

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LAUNCH UPDATE

I mentioned above that I had a slow week and I did. And with everything breaking, or not at top functionality, I struggled to keep my momentum. I did. I imagine this is what a marathon runner feels like in the last few miles of a race. On the one hand, I'm excited that I can almost see the finish line. On the other hand, I wish I could sit down on an overstuffed chair, and drink a glass of red.

This is what I got done last week:

• Met with connector and brainstormed opportunities for THRIVE among other things
• Got over 150 entries in my press kit/speaking opportunity database
• Wrote cover letters
• Sent a few press kits out to connections
• Fiddled with website (and changed my mind about a few things)
• Read a number of articles about marketing
• Got to 63% in LILITH
• Tweaked revamped covers
• Finalized format for THRIVE and TRANSFORM TO THRIVE (added connect, about author etc)
• Blogged

This is what I need to get done this week:

• Upload THRIVE & TRANSFORM TO THRIVE to Smashwords and set up pre-order
• Send out press kits to media
• Send out press kits to colleges, organizations etc
• Sign up for speaking bureau at RAINN (among others?)
• Finish cover tweaks for KHLOE series
• Finish LILITH
• Upload corrected books, descriptions, and new covers for KHLOE
• Follow up with connector/mentor
• Info blast on social media about pre-order
• Consider Createspace for print on demand version of THRIVE and TRANSFORM TO THRIVE.
• Think about business cards
• Create speaking page for website (and list topics etc)
• Blog
• Patreon.... 
• Pitch THRIVE related story ideas to sites and blogs?

I'm sure there is more. I don't know when I'll get time to do videos. I want to get them done, but the problem is I need quiet time and light to do them as well as someone to watch my toddler. It has been next to impossible to get all those things simultaneously. For now, I'm going to focus on the absolute essentials and if I get the videos done, I'll be really pleased. But that is definitely icing at this point. The most important is to get the books into tip-top shape and available.

BE MY PATRON!

If you love my blogging, my books, or just love supporting creatives, I strongly urge you to become my patron on Patreon.

What is Patreon?

Patreon is a site that lets fans connect with makers of any and all stripes.

How does it work?

You sign up as a subscriber and BAM! You're a patron! You get access to an exclusive community of fans, special rewards, personal interaction, and exclusive work before ANYONE ELSE. Any time I put up a piece of writing in a given month for patronage, your account is charged your pledge. BUT you are only charged up to the limit of your budget. SO if you pledge $3 and your budget is $6, you would only get charged twice, even if I put up 3 paid pieces. It is a win-win for both of us! You get to control how much you pledge, get access to awesome stuff before anyone else, AND support this indie author.

What do you have in store for patrons?

Not gonna lie. There are some AWESOME things heading the way of my patron page. In fact, I am working on a serial story, EXCLUSIVELY for patrons. That's right. IT WILL ONLY BE ACCESSIBLE TO PATRONS.

Once a month I intend to upload one episode/chapter of the story to the patron page. As the story develops, those patrons with access to the suggestion thread are able to comment on story direction for the next chapter. While I have a general plan as to where the story is going, it is meant to be an interactive experience with my patrons.

The premise? It is admittedly in its early stages at this point, but I am committed to the main character. I'll say more after the first episode/chapter is complete.

In addition to the serial story, I have some stand-alone shorts that will be accessible FIRST on Patreon. Also artwork inspired by different novels will be available to patrons. And maybe some of that artwork will be based on fan models! Hmm. I like that idea.

So, all this is to say, patronizing your sweet indie author is awesome. You get cool stuff and help a girl out. Become my patron today!

Come Out, Come Out, Whoever You Are!

Some paths are scary...

Lately there have been several recurring themes in my life and therefore, my writing: coincidence, fate, purpose, choice, self-acceptance, and "coming out."

But worth it.

First of all, I don't believe in coincidence. I'm a person of faith and I've had too many strange things happen in my life to believe in "coincidence." I believe that everything happens for a reason, so you could say I believe in a kind of fate and that things - and people - have related purposes.

That said, I also believe you can choose to ignore or follow your purpose. In order to actively make that choice, many times a person must engage in self-exploration. This often leads to the discovery of both pleasant and unpleasant elements of the self (history, talents, preferences, personality traits, etc). This also leads to the possibility of self-acceptance (or not).

The process of discovery and acceptance in turn leads to the possibility of "coming out."

When encountering the phrase "coming out" most people think of an LGBT person openly declaring their gender/orientation, however "coming out" is not exclusively an LGBT act. Any part of the self that has been hidden, dormant, or laying in a deep recess can be brought to the light of day and shared with others. The process, and often the implications, are the same.

It is the implications of "coming out" - of a change in identity - that piques my interest. It also keeps me up at night.

Coming out is hard. It isn't like going from the identity of coupled woman to mother. That identity is clear and easy to see. It is one most people encounter on a regular basis, and for most people, there are no loose ends or questions raised by such an identity change.

The nature of coming out means the hidden identity or issue being brought into the open is uncomfortable, otherwise it wouldn't have been hidden. There is something shameful or uncomfortable, or difficult about this identity or issue, usually for both the self and others. It calls some fundamental thing into question - roles, relationships, actions, all shift to a new and strange place with this new identification.

Sometimes such identifications become the person. Literally, these difficult identities are so hard to get past for most other people, the self becomes two-dimensional. Suddenly the self is only lesbian, is only an addict, is only poor, is only an abuser, is only a victim, is only a criminal according to the other. Pigeon-holing abounds when the new issue comes to light. In order to overcome this shallowing process, the self must work extra hard to show up this new identity: I am green, progressive, Christian, athletic, multi-racial, multi-lingual, educated etc. These other identities are forced into competition with the "shameful" and marginalized new identity.

Some people choose to embrace their marginalized identity and center their lives around these things, for example a once battered woman turned activist who works with battered women. Another example would be a recovering alcoholic choosing to support others in their quest for sobriety. The centering of this identity surpasses a volunteer level, but moves to paid work as well as possible volunteering. Literally, life in these situations is entirely focused on this "shameful" identity.

The other possibility is to downplay such identities and to focus on something else. I think of the case of Maya Angelou who could have focused much of her writing and energy on the fact that she was molested and raped as a child. She could have written much of her work about - and championed victims of - sexual abuse and assault, however she did not. She chose a wider platform that included socio-economic, race, gender, and orientation identities rather than a single pigeon-holed identity of "victim."

Of course no one is a single thing. Each person has multiple facets, each informing the other. Experiences, preferences, and inherent abilities all contribute to the people we are. Often, however, one aspect or set of aspects stands out. One or a set of identities speaks to us more. We identify with a given set more strongly, and there are reasons for this (our experiences and preferences, for example).

This is where a given person's purpose lies - surrounding those identities of utmost importance.

However there is tension in balancing a person's purpose with the potential of pigeon-holing. There is tension surrounding that question of pigeon-holing and acceptance by others. Will I be stereotyped if I come out? Will I always be only this one thing? Will my identity overshadow my purpose? Will it interfere with achieving my life purpose? - asks the self.

Inevitably, the answer is: I don't know. We cannot know. The other is the one who answers these questions by their actions - their acceptance and rejection. It is only when the self is made vulnerable by coming out that the answer can be given and received. Until then, there is only anxious speculation.

We all have secrets. We all have hidden parts of ourselves. With every hidden piece, there is a debate regarding with whom we render ourselves vulnerable. For those who live more public lives - bloggers, writers, pastors, politicians, celebrities - the debate is more intense. The revelation of a secret self has more lasting and difficult implications. Will my brand be impacted? Will my image be impacted positively or negatively (because it will be impacted one way or another)? Is it worth it? Is it more important to be honest and authentic than to worry about the potential fallout? How strongly do I identify with this part of myself? If I decide to come out, how should I do it? Will it be quiet? Will it be for maximum impact? If so, what would create maximum impact?

These are the questions we ask ourselves. These are the questions that keep us up at night because there are no easy answers. There are no right answers. There are only answers that align with a person's purpose and those that do not. So it comes down to choice: what is your purpose? Who is your secret self? Will sharing your secret self with others further your purpose in this world? If the answer is yes, then it's time. It's time to come out.

Mastermind Groups, Mentors, and Grunts - Oh My!

Recently I've begun listening to binaural beats, relaxation tracks, and subliminal affirmations.

I know. Hooby dooby shit. But stick with me on this.

As I wrote earlier this year, life has been generally sucky. In fact, it's been so sucky, I decided (with the prompting one can only get from a meditative state) to write about this experience and the lessons I've learned from it.

That, however, is a different story.

The other more interesting and helpful prompt I received was about a mastermind group. Actually, I was thinking about ways to help my husband out of his funk and in the end, I came to realize it was a route for both of us.

 

 What is a Mastermind Group?

A mastermind group is a small group (maybe 6 at the max, but generally 3-4 people) of peers committed to helping one another achieve each other's goals. This is primarily self-work in the career area, but it doesn't have to stay there. If the group decided to take a session to brainstorm about ways to get their dream houses, I'm sure that would work just fine. It is really a tool for the group, so whatever the group decides, that's how it will work.

Ideally each group member brings different things to the table within a given area. You might even be a member of several different groups that focus on different areas. In my ideal world, I'd probably have a mommy-blogger group and an indie genre writing group (and by ideal world, I mean by the end of August...hint hint!).

But this mastermind group is only one transformative tool - granted an awesome one - but still only one. I feel that both my husband and I need a little more...

 O Mentor, Where Art Thou?

In comes the idea of mentor. Now I've wanted mentors - explicitly - for some time. I just had no clue how to go about courting someone who would spend the time on someone like me (I imagine this is a common problem for people.). Of course, my little meditation prompt led me to the perfect website that had the exact information I needed to read.

Just ask.

I mean, don't ask something like (insert Mr. Rogers' theme), "Won't-you-be-my-mentor?" but instead ask specific questions to people who you admire and think would have helpful answers. These are the kinds of people you want around you anyway - helpful people. Accessible helpful people who actually look at their Twitter mentions or their Facebook pages AND make seven figures annually are kind of amazing and perfect to answer your questions.

Yes, you can wade through thousands of websites and forums trying to find the information you seek, but wouldn't it be nicer just to go straight to the source? The idea of that kind of tedious research gives me a headache. Hell, just searching for people to ask questions of gave me a headache.

The Right Steps

Now that I have a plan of action, I have to put it into action. To be honest, just figuring this out today was a huge step in the right direction. Researching people was tiring, but again, a huge step in the right direction. And now? I need a break.

Even God rested. I'm just saying.

So what will I do the rest of today? Obviously I'm going to listen to my meditative tracks because clearly they're making a huge difference for me. I'm also going to write at least 1000 words because I really need to for my sanity. And then I'm going to listen to Jackson Browne because I'm supposed to be performing in a few weeks at a tribute night to the guy and he might show up (he does live around here).

Phew. I need to get realistic here; there's actually no rest for the wicked...

Goodreads Genre Group Blog Hop

I am thrilled to say that tomorrow begins a great blog hop in which I am participating! Its theme is "travel." Seeing as I have been flying and roadtripping since I was a toddler, I couldn't pass up the chance to join the fun! Below I have included the list of participating blogs and dates when they will be posting.

PLEASE make sure to check out some of the posts! And of course, check out mine on July 12th too

GSRG July Blog Tour Giveaway a Rafflecopter giveaway

Genre Specific Review Group Blog Tour Stops: July 6 - The Consulting Writer Author Susan Day Michelle Abbott's Blog Author George Thomas Clark July 7 - Marilyn Peake's Blog Author Jo Grafford July 8 - Plain Talk BM Author Domino Finn Author Stephanie Ward July 9 - Author Melinda Brasher July 10 - Author K. Chrisbacher Author Tim Stead July 11 - Author Jayne Blue July 12 - The Consulting Writer Author Alexis Donkin

My Cell Phone Changed My Life

I'm a little bit of a gadget person - just a little bit. Still I never expected I would be so shaken by a change in my cell phone.

Remember how I wanted to wait for Blackberry to get their act together? Well, I couldn't. I couldn't because my battery was expanding and not holding a charge. In short, if I waited until a company decided to release their latest and greatest, I could have had acid burns on my cheek from my phone exploding.

Not ideal.

It helped that my husband's phone was some crazy Chinese knock-off that refused to stand up to his regular abuse (His pants and his phones last half as long as other people's - I swear!). So we both got new phones.

Because I have crazy personal goals that require a revamp of my social media presence, I started downloading apps that I hadn't even dreamed of.

I finally committed to Hootesuite, which has been somewhat of an improvement, though if I had the money to pay for the service, I think it would be better. But beyond the expected, I also downloaded Sparksfly, Konnect Social, and ShoutOMatic.

So far, Sparksfly has upped the ease of engaging with my Tweeps (though not as much with Facebook...). I've done more retweeting in the last few days than I have done in a 48 hour period EVER. I started to fool around with Konnect Social, but I have yet to really dive into the possibilities with this app. The possibilities do appeal, especially because I want to engage more with people who will be interested in my content (duh! Who doesn't?!). ShoutOMatic seems really cool and would help me put up greater variety of content, but again, I have yet to use it. Often times I have a sleeping baby around when I have time (like right now) and trying to fool with extra sounds doesn't seem like a good idea.

This is just the beginning.

I've started taking videos of related things and am looking forward to revisiting my YouTube account and creating a few channels (one per blog?). This is in part because of some super easy video editing apps that I can put on my phone, as well as the GoPro and my husband's amazing tech skills. I'm both anxious and excited about these prospects.

And I wouldn't have ventured down this crazy path without my new phone. While it's not the new hotness, it is enough of a change from my previous phone that the improvement is marked. The possibilities have grown exponentially. Doors have opened.

I'm a kid in a candy shop.

Come stuff your face with me. It's amazing.

What are some social media apps that have changed your online life? What are some tech gadgets that opened doors for you? Leave a comment below!

The 2014 Master Writer Plan Part 1: Process & Publication

By divine intervention I came across an action plan for promoting indie books and developing a platform. It was a hallelujah moment for me. This was the thing I've been looking for! These were the questions I needed to ask myself! Finally! Someone had put together some actionable steps for me to pursue one by one in order to get the word out about my beloved creations!

As you may have guessed, my strong suit is promotion. :-D

So of course I devoured the information and quickly realized it raised more questions than it answered.

Not only did I realize how lacking my knowledge was of social media campaigns, I also realized how incredibly scatter-shot and scatterbrained my attempts had been. I was operating with the whole, "throw everything at it and something will stick" mentality. I've known I needed to change my approach, but I just wasn't sure how to go about doing it.

Well, I started going through the questions this site asked. Then I asked more questions of myself. Then I brainstormed. Then I asked other people these questions. Then I brainstormed some more. Then I prioritized based on expected ease and projected impact of these various actions. Then I made a list.

All along I said I wanted to publish 7 more books this year (and pretty much every year after as long as I am writing) but I wasn't sure how I could do it. While there are specific actionable parts of promotion that need to be thought through, I also needed to get clear about how I could break down my word counts in the time left of this year in order to reach my goal.

As my husband says, each new book promotes every previous book. That's the beauty of having a collection published.

In an effort to ensure my success with my publishing goal (and subsequent promo overhaul) I needed to make sure my word counts were reasonable and that I was giving myself enough time to edit, proof, format, and publish each manuscript.

I needed to not only break down things into daily goals, but also weekly and monthly across the different aspects of publishing (cover design etc).

The result is the following:

• Monthly word count goal: 31,000 words
• Weekly word count goal: 7350 words
• Daily word count goal: 1050 words
• Monthly editing goal: 1 book
• Monthly publishing goal: 1 book
• Monthly cover goal: 1 cover

There will likely be a lag at the beginning which will stretch through the year because of the process of writing and publishing (i.e. March will not have a publishing goal and December won't have a word count goal).

These are separate from any promotion work I do - including blog posts, Twitter, Facebook, videos, podcasts, etc. I'm not exactly sure how the promotion goals are going to fit into my days because I'm not exactly sure how much time I want to devote to each thing and what those things will be. I think initially there's going to be a lot of time spent on cleaning things up (which will be a real pain and may take the place of some of the other writing/publishing goals in various months).

I plan to detail my efforts in my publishing goal for 2014 as well as my promotional goals. I hope others will find the process enlightening and helpful, especially for those who were/are as clueless as I have been. That said, I'd better get writing!

Delusional: The Indie Path to Success

Now more than ever I think it's a good idea to "get right with God."

I'm not talking about God here.

I'm talking about...well...I'm not sure if I can point to any one thing, and yet it is very specific. I guess I'm talking about clarifying my professional focus in order to achieve success.

This is a process I've slowly been edging towards, and I feel like I'm coming to an "aha" moment about the whole thing.  I'm listening to/reading motivational speakers as well as thought leaders in my interest areas (writing, religion, parenting, etc). I've been reading marketing and social media gurus. Once again I'm thinking about revising my whole approach to writing (and potentially public speaking).

I feel schizo about it all. I keep having this same moment over and over again - this same quandry - and I wonder if I'm not avoiding the inevitable. I wonder if I'm not avoiding doing the things I should be doing.

In my head I have this ideal: I write. I get asked to speak about my writing. I write some more. I speak about writing more. People love me (and my writing). The end.

I've read from many authors all kinds of different thoughts on this. Some say just write. Just keep writing. Some say push social media. Some say have your own site. Some say do this, or that. Say this three times, spin around, while holding your tongue during a full moon.

Sometimes I think it's all bullshit - another person trying to sell their "magic bullet snake oil" for $385 an ounce. And I'm not having any of it.

But other times...

Today I have to question my previous conclusion. Maybe it's not all snake oil. Maybe I could be doing things better. Maybe I could research better, listen better, interact better. Maybe I could do more with technobabble and use all these crazy apps and sites to my advantage.

I could.

Ben Sweetland (my guru du jour) would say my Creative Mind will lead me to the right people, places, and actions to connect with my readers and grow my audience. Maybe coming across these things like socialmouths.com is happening because I should in fact follow their advice. I do need to implement something because in the past I was doing things haphazardly at best.

Let's face it...what I have been doing hasn't been systematic up to this point. In fact, much of it has been trial and error and a whole lot of stumbling (and I don't mean StumbleUpon).

I'll give you a run down of my marketing/publicity history:
- I started my blog.
- I started writing novels.
- I published my novels.
- I promoted them through Twitter (in a scattershot approach).
- I put links to them in my email signature.
- I started a second blog (Raising An Alien).
- I tried to set up a blogtour and wasn't able to get a hold of any bloggers from fantasy sites except one who only takes paper copies of books.
- I started my author FaceBook page.
- I tried some giveaways.
- I registered on GoodReads.
- I registered on blogger networks.
- I uploaded chapters free on Wattpad.
- I sent query letters to agents (over 30) and got one tiny nibble.
- I submitted short stories to over 10 literary magazines which were all rejected.
- I even offered to do Indie author book swaps to trade reviews.

Most of these things have resulted in little to no increase in sales. Frankly, most of them resulted in next to no responses. When I read through this list, it's a wonder I'm still at this at all.

To be fair, I have sold some books. I've more than paid for the monetary costs of the books. But I'm not yet anywhere close to where I want to be as a writer.

When I read articles by different people saying how much they didn't do, or how much they did, I have to wonder what the hell is going on!  It appears to be a total and utter crapshoot who finds success and who doesn't in the indie author world (in fact many authors say just that - just check out the ALLI site! I'm on my phone and don't have the link so humor me and Google it!).

My next attempt in this game, probably should have been my first. I'm going to listen to my audience and try to meet them where they are. I'm going to try to get my books in a few influential hands. I have a feeling this will be more successful than my previous plays. But if it isn't, I'll just go back to the drawing board because I've come too far to fail. That's just not happening. After all this, I deserve to be successful. I will win.

Videos for Writers

Christian and I did something a little crazy. We bought a video camera. And what do we hope to accomplish with our new HD super ballistic special fantastic camera? Well, record things of course!

Specifically, Christian is planning on doing some motorcycle related recording, but I'm get to do a few things that are very different, and very exciting.

The first thing is I get to record the baby (and will probably put properly edited videos on my Raising an Alien blog). Seeing as I was never recorded as a child, this is a kind of exciting thing to be able to do for my kid.

The second thing is I'll get to record a few trailer type deals for my books. I'm hoping to have interview questions or something for each series/novel etc. The videos may be short segments - like one question per video - or they may end up being longer bits. I'm not sure. It's going to depend on many things, including my make-up stash (I mean, let's be realistic - I'm over 30 and female. I can't go out without putting a little bit of face on!) to be perfectly honest.

Regardless of how the videos turn out or what form they take, I'm excited about this new way for readers to interact with me (even though it may take some time for anything to get posted). Be patient, cross your fingers, and keep your eyes peeled!

If you have suggestions or preferences for the kinds of videos I put up please comment below or mention me on Twitter or comment on my Facebook page. I'd love some outside input!

Crossing Genres: Poetry, Fiction, and Non-fiction

Well, I'm in the process of putting my toe into three pools. Some people say this is a bad idea, while others have done it quite successfully and encourage such an adventure.

Honestly, I really don't care what "they" say. I'm doing it. That's final. It's done.

I'm particularly inspired by the non-fiction work of several of my favorite "children's" authors - C.S. Lewis and Madeleine L'Engle. Both these individuals were people of faith and their spirituality profoundly influenced their writing - not just their fiction, but also their non-fiction.

I'm finding that to be the case for me as well.

It is good to write fiction. It is good to write good fiction. But how can I sit back and not put my two cents in on issues that matter to me in a non-fiction way? Yes, my blogs can do that for me to some extent. Perhaps they will at some point develop into some kind of book or series themselves (stranger things have happened). But a blog is a different kind of thing. The writing I'm talking about has a very different purpose, and certainly one devoid of the diary or even essay form that is so popular in the blogosphere.

It's for this reason I published my poetry collection. It's for this reason I am in the process of revising my world religion curriculum. Do they speak to the same audience? Maybe there is some overlap. I'm not sure. But I'm acutely aware that most of the readers of these three areas will likely not overlap. I'm comfortable with the idea that different people will need to be reached for these very different creations.

And that's okay.

I doubt Lewis or L'Engle thought their non-fiction pieces would be avidly devoured by the same readers of their most famous children's series. If they did, I think we would have labelled both of them "delusional." Were (are) their non-fiction pieces read as widely as their fiction? I doubt it. Does it make their contribution to spiritual discourse less valuable? Certainly not.

I don't write for fame. I write because my soul burns. There is too much to hold inside - it must find voice. It must find expression. I must call out into the dark, loud and clear. I would love more than an echo of response or a hollow nothingness. I would love to have a sea of voices saying "yes" to my words. But whether I hear them or someone else hears them a long time from now doesn't matter. I cannot know what my words do. All I know is I must speak them - I must write them. From then on, their lives are their own.

Why Choose This Over That - Naming Blogs

I am seriously having a rough time figuring out a name for this new blog. I'm beginning to wonder if I should even try separating my content because everything I like is already taken (and half of that was taken in 2006 and then never heard from again - I'm tempted to contact these people and ask them to delete their blogs for me!). The stuff I'm luke warm about is well, luke warm.

Christian told me, "it's just a name!" But you and I both know names are important. It's not just something that helps create the reality of the thing (you are your name, whether you want to be or not). It's also something that will (or won't) bring traffic. All the cutesy mommy blog names make me want to barf, but those are the things people search for.

I want it to be later so I can break out my laptop and be more systematic in my search for a name. I want to get started already on this stupid blog (or have someone tell me I'm being ridiculous and should just keep muddling through my mix of pregnancy and writing posts).

I hate this. I hate waiting. I hate making other people wait. I hate the heartburn that has returned with a vengeance after a few weeks hiatus.

Damn.

I've had like 20 pregnancy post ideas since I tried to stop posting them on this blog. This seems stupid. It seems counter productive. I'm getting annoyed with this plan.

It's almost as bad as the search for a girl name (which by the way, we only kind of like - alright, *I* only kind of like). It feels like settling. I hate settling. But then again, I can't remember the process of choosing the name for this blog. I can't remember exactly why I did what I did there, or how I felt about it.

The issue isn't so much the title you see as the link itself. The title could change, if needed. The link is forever...I think.

Man this heartburn is bad.

I think the stress of trying to find a name for this blog along with my allergies and trying to get all the Summer Writing Challenge stuff done is getting to me. Then again, the kiddo could be kicking my stomach just so. Baby has been pretty active in the last hour, so it could be that.

Sigh.

This brings me to once again call on my friends and readers: what names do you like for a blog? Does it even matter? How searchable should the title be? Does that matter if post titles are super searchable (Yes ladies and gentlemen, this is what keeps me up at night. Something is wrong with me.)? Leave a comment or mention me on Twitter (@alexisdonkin)!