THRIVE Book Launch Week 6: Temping

Keep moving. It's all temporary.

Recently I had an epiphany, which is strangely related to THRIVE.

I realized even though I still get freaked out, depressed, or angry, even in the moment I see the experience of those feelings as temporary. Before, I felt bad and it made me feel like the whole world was awful and there was no light. Now I recognize I am reacting to a specific situation, which will pass, and it does nothing to hinder my progress.

Before I might have wallowed. Now I give myself the freedom to feel, accept the feeling, and then move on to do what has to be done.

My core situation is solid - I have my family. We love each other. Everything else is dressing. Everything else is a game. I move the pieces. I try different things. I experiment. I have fun. I get annoyed. And at the end of the day, I come back to my husband and son.

While I haven't been in war, I've been torn down enough to know that I have what really matters in life. I have family, friends, and an extensive support network who surround me with love. In this, I have been extraordinarily successful. And I am profoundly grateful for this situation, and for the epiphany that everything else in life is just fun and games.

Really.

That is not to say that my actions don't matter, or that I don't want to have a legacy for my son, or a positive impact on my community, country, and planet. I do want those things.But I am open to how they play out. I am detached from a specific result. I intend to enjoy the ride. I intend to enjoy helping as many people as I can with THRIVE. I intend to enjoy fulfilling the purpose given to me. I intend to enjoy every moment of life, even the angry, sad, or anxious ones. All of these things are gifts. All of them are part of the experience - part of the game.

And it's all good. Truly it is.

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LAUNCH UPDATE

It's a bit of a mixed bag, and I feel like last week was a blur. Maybe the stress of the marathon involved with this process finally caught up to me. Whatever it was, I was exhausted all week and had trouble focusing on tasks. That said, I was able to finish the following:

• Patreon blog post
• Patreon art upload
• Regular blog posts
• Incorporated magicworkers' suggestions into press kit
• Scheduled a meeting with a "connector" who has a lot of similar interests and influential friends
• Finished west coast press kit contact database (in hopes of speaking engagements)
• Reached out to connected friends at several universities
• Finished revamping LOVERS & RIVALS
• Determined ideal camera set up for videos
• Recorded prelim/video tests (need to redo for the perfect ones)
• 43% revamped LILITH & AMMON
• 75% done with "influences" page on author website
• Created "author ambassador" contact form and solicited from friends and other connections.
• Downloaded fonts for new covers
• Downloaded grammar extension for word processor

And the plan for this week is:

• Finish LILITH & AMMON
• Finish formatting THRIVE
• Finalize revamped covers for KHLOE series
• Patreon EXCLUSIVE upload of a short story
• Blog posts
• Finalize "influences" page
• Finalize first video set (especially Patreon ones)
• Upload KHLOE books with revamped covers to all outlets
• Upload new covers to website & blog
• Finalize east coast contact database
• Have meeting with connector and follow up on any relevant brainstorming/ideas

I think that's it...but I'm a little scattered at the moment. I'm experiencing that temporary feeling of anxiety the closer I get to pre-order day (May 15). In the end, everything will be what it will be...BUT, I still don't want to get caught with my pants down. I know that everything could always get picked and prodded more, and that I just have to let that go. I can't know what people will get riled about, or what will speak to people. I can't worry about it. In the end, it was my life. You can't argue with experience. It was. It speaks for itself. And I can't control what others hear.

Mastermind Groups, Mentors, and Grunts - Oh My!

Recently I've begun listening to binaural beats, relaxation tracks, and subliminal affirmations.

I know. Hooby dooby shit. But stick with me on this.

As I wrote earlier this year, life has been generally sucky. In fact, it's been so sucky, I decided (with the prompting one can only get from a meditative state) to write about this experience and the lessons I've learned from it.

That, however, is a different story.

The other more interesting and helpful prompt I received was about a mastermind group. Actually, I was thinking about ways to help my husband out of his funk and in the end, I came to realize it was a route for both of us.

 

 What is a Mastermind Group?

A mastermind group is a small group (maybe 6 at the max, but generally 3-4 people) of peers committed to helping one another achieve each other's goals. This is primarily self-work in the career area, but it doesn't have to stay there. If the group decided to take a session to brainstorm about ways to get their dream houses, I'm sure that would work just fine. It is really a tool for the group, so whatever the group decides, that's how it will work.

Ideally each group member brings different things to the table within a given area. You might even be a member of several different groups that focus on different areas. In my ideal world, I'd probably have a mommy-blogger group and an indie genre writing group (and by ideal world, I mean by the end of August...hint hint!).

But this mastermind group is only one transformative tool - granted an awesome one - but still only one. I feel that both my husband and I need a little more...

 O Mentor, Where Art Thou?

In comes the idea of mentor. Now I've wanted mentors - explicitly - for some time. I just had no clue how to go about courting someone who would spend the time on someone like me (I imagine this is a common problem for people.). Of course, my little meditation prompt led me to the perfect website that had the exact information I needed to read.

Just ask.

I mean, don't ask something like (insert Mr. Rogers' theme), "Won't-you-be-my-mentor?" but instead ask specific questions to people who you admire and think would have helpful answers. These are the kinds of people you want around you anyway - helpful people. Accessible helpful people who actually look at their Twitter mentions or their Facebook pages AND make seven figures annually are kind of amazing and perfect to answer your questions.

Yes, you can wade through thousands of websites and forums trying to find the information you seek, but wouldn't it be nicer just to go straight to the source? The idea of that kind of tedious research gives me a headache. Hell, just searching for people to ask questions of gave me a headache.

The Right Steps

Now that I have a plan of action, I have to put it into action. To be honest, just figuring this out today was a huge step in the right direction. Researching people was tiring, but again, a huge step in the right direction. And now? I need a break.

Even God rested. I'm just saying.

So what will I do the rest of today? Obviously I'm going to listen to my meditative tracks because clearly they're making a huge difference for me. I'm also going to write at least 1000 words because I really need to for my sanity. And then I'm going to listen to Jackson Browne because I'm supposed to be performing in a few weeks at a tribute night to the guy and he might show up (he does live around here).

Phew. I need to get realistic here; there's actually no rest for the wicked...

The Imaginative Subconscious Mind

Where will this dream lead?

My current project is loosely based on the worlds created by my delightfully overactive subconscious mind (I'm actually using this post to help generate some specific details for the next installment of the novel...crossing my fingers!).

I have, for as long as I can remember, the most emotionally intense, vividly detailed, saga length dreams. Whenever I describe my dreams to other people they look at me like I'm crazy.

You know Game of Thrones?
You know the Xanth books?
How about the Valdemar books?
What about Malazan?

Yeah. Like that.

That's how I dream. Every night that I remember my dreams, it's like I've read through an entire fantasy series. Sometimes I get "best of" repeats of themes or locations. Very rarely do people repeat. Very rarely do specific situations repeat.

I dream about wars. Battles are fought between good and evil in my dreams. Philosophies are squabbled over. Demons come to claim the souls of champions who must fight them back into the pits of hell.

Loves are star-crossed. Some are unrequited. Resolution comes with a bittersweet price.

Sometimes I lucid dream. I usually think about what I'm dreaming of as I'm dreaming, but occasionally I'll actively change something. If a character from my dream thinks I need to know something, they'll respond directly to me about a thought I'm having - this always freaks me out because I'm almost never talking to them.

When I make an effort to lucid dream and I'm worried there will be a battle or a monster or something, I carry a claymore across my back (I am Scottish!). It's nearly the size of me, but I'm dreaming so I can carry it and wield it easily.  Then I kill whatever I don't like with my giant sword. When something dies, it turns to a sort of gray vapor and dissipates. I get the best of both worlds this way - no mess or gross, and satisfying destruction of whatever is bothering me.

Sometimes I dream about the future, and it comes true. This is a little unnerving and unfortunately I've never been able to really keep track of things or dream of something useful (i.e. I can't do the whole, "beware, this is a bad idea! steer clear!" or tell someone who they're going to marry, so don't bother asking.). Usually it's just a moment in time, like eating dinner at a diner or sitting in church, or knowing a conversation before it happens (Once I even dreamed an episode of Castle before it was shown - so useless.).

Typically I dream of a cluster of moments surrounding a major crossroads or life event (such as when my husband lost his job or when my son was born - both happening in the span of 2 months). And these dreams usually occur anywhere from six months to a year beforehand from what I've observed. The moments show up disguised in my crazy epic dreams, a way of thinking about things - like seeing a chessboard with people instead of pieces. Then I see them play out in real life...that's as best as I can explain it.

Yeah. My dream life is...intense.

This is how I'm able to create such crazy worlds and complex relationships in my novels. I imagine all kinds of possibilities in my subconscious mind. The more I learn, the more I incorporate.

I play out all kinds of concepts, ideas, and choices. My dreamscape is a place where I can determine where my heart really lies or come to a decision (I married my husband because of a dream. No joke. Call me crazy.).

Dream are a curious thing. Some symbols are universal, others cultural, while still others are personal. They are a point of fascination for many people, and have been a point of study for psychologists (even spawning areas like depth psychology). Needless to say, dreamscapes are a fantasy/sci-fi writer's candy factory. In the case of my current project, they (combined with my strange fascination for the paranormal) have directed many aspects of my writing.

It will be interesting to see exactly how this novel manifests itself - and even more so, what you think of it. ;-)

Good Idea, Bad Idea? Tactics for the Writer

I've been thinking a lot about ideas. How do we have them? Where do they come from? When we're trying to write, what kind of ideas stick and which ones get pitched before they've been fully vetted?

If you're like me, you have a new idea every other second. It's dizzying. I actually throw out more ideas than I work on because I just don't have time, energy, or money to complete them.

And honestly, it's disappointing not to work on them all. I'd really like about 12 hours more per day for the rest of my life. I think that might make up the difference, but enough about my ridiculous ambition...

But what if you struggle to have ideas? I've been in situations where I wanted desperately to come up with something and just hit wall after wall. Forcing an idea to happen feels impossible, but it can be done. The question is, will that forced idea be good enough to pursue?

So how do you come up with a good idea when you need it? The best way I know is to be systematic.

First you need to come up with problems to solve. So make a list of problems or types of books/stories you'd like to write. For me this was pretty simple. Last year I decided I wanted to write a stand alone book for adults. If I could, I wanted it to be science fiction. I came to this conclusion because I hadn't written any stand alone books yet, nor had I written anything for adults or anything in science fiction. Basically I wanted to see if I could do it (the key here was discovering the problem I wanted to solve - setting a goal of achieving something I hadn't done).

Then I had to figure out where it would get started. To come up with a location, I delved into places I knew. In order to limit my location possibilities, I decided I wanted to have the main character in graduate school. I thought this would be a good bridge age (you can still attract some young adult readers while appealing to a more mature audience). From there, I decided to pick the character's major. Most people pick graduate school based on one of two things - cost or quality. I wanted to eliminate cost as a factor for my character and so gave her a scholarship to one of the best programs in the country for her major.

I wanted to have a game changer in the middle of the book - a large twist that would throw sci-fi nerds through a loop (maybe a sucker punch?). So I did that. I incorporated some marginal ideas that I saw on a reality TV show and BAM! I had BELOW THE BELT.

Another thing I wanted was to have a book of short stories. While my stories have not developed into books yet (I'm still sitting on them waiting to get published in lit zines), I had to come up with a few themes. I could have sat down and brainstormed themes, but as it was, I started by writing a story. The story was about a political issue that bothered me deeply - women's reproductive rights. From there, it was easy to write several more stories about women and children. I picked one aspect of women and children's wellness for each story. I still have several more to write if I want them to be a biddable collection.

The next idea in writing I'd like to pursue is the interlude short story. This is a story that happens between books to main or supportive characters and often fills in the gaps that fans want filled. Currently I'm pondering possible stories in the Khloe Alwell saga. I figure one short could be about the Ceres-Lugh-Llewellyn debacle. Another could be about the writer of the Lilith-Ammon prophecy. These are points that were raised in my books, but could not be developed because of the chronology involved.

The best way to come up with ideas? Decide on goals. Brainstorm. Make lists. Ask questions and then answer them. These are different tactics that can be used separately or in conjunction with one another. The result is you'll figure out something that speaks to you - and if it speaks to you, it's probably a good idea.

Gender Prediction Dreams

Pregnancy is often associated with an increase in intuition. This may have to do with changes in the brain preparing women for motherhood or it could be we're just better attuned to our bodies than before.

For whatever reason, many women find themselves knowing things before hand - or having a degree of clairsentience.

While I've had my share of prescient dreams (often culminating in a deja vu like moment years later), I can't say I've had much of either occur during pregnancy. The deja vu moments I've had have not been related to pregnancy, but more to do with writing (crossing my fingers here). I think I had a moment when we were going through a name list spreadsheet, but that's all.

Then 2 nights ago I had a dream. I'm very sensitive to my dreams, so I pay close attention to their details and often ask questions or press things in my dreams lucidly.

This one threw me for a loop.

I've been feeling, for the most part, this baby is a boy. I can't tell you why, I just do. My dream however had me birth a baby girl named "Gabi" short for Gabriela. I really don't like that name...like at all. I would never name my kid that. In fact, as I was dreaming I thought, "This is the opposite of what will happen."

Often times women will only dream the opposite of what they are having. This was the first and only gender dream I've had, so I can't come down on either side of the dream debate. I will say this, educated women (women with college or more) have been shown to make predictions of their baby's sex with 71% accuracy. If you look at all women, it's only 55% accuracy - basically a guess. So educated women are more likely to pick up on physical cues and well, know.

Since I've been pretty on the mark with the crowd on everything else (symptoms, growth etc), I expect I will be on this as well. That said, I know if I have a little girl I will adore her just as much as I would a boy. I've seen that in myself. But honestly, when it comes right down to it, I think I'd be a better mom to boys.

I worry about my tendency towards coldness and tough love. I am so passionate about honesty, it can be hurtful sometimes. Over time this has been tempered, but it still comes out especially with direct questions or when I'm tired or hungry. I know, from personality traits (and even the length of my ring finger - yes, that's a thing) I have a higher testosterone level for a woman. Women with higher testosterone levels tend to have boys because well, they're better at raising boys.

I've never been good with girls. I have maybe 3 girlfriends I talk to on a regular basis, and they are all women who tend to hang out with guys. Girliness bugs me like you wouldn't believe. I hate the idea of carnation pink and lilac purple. I don't do well with manicures because the paint chips in like 30 seconds - I'm too active with art etc to keep my nails nice (let alone my cuticles - don't look at them, ever!). As a child I liked dolls as much as I did rocks and cars. Most of my playmates were boys. I only learned how to really do make up and hair in my 20s because I read magazines and made a friend whose art was that of fashion.

Girls?! Gah! Their pettiness and hurtful words aren't something I want to help a child through, though I know I'll have to - boy or girl (There's always a group of girls like that at school - you know it's true!).

All this is to say, what if my crazy "Gabi" dream wasn't intuitive at all, but just a combination of my concerns and my gut feelings? I don't know. I have the option of finding out the sex in a week. I'm half way - 20 weeks today. I still don't know if I want to find out. I like the idea of keeping things neutral. Ultrasounds aren't always accurate anyway. Then again, we may do something in between and get a sealed envelope and do a special dinner or something to find out the sex at a later time. I can't decide. This last option seems a good compromise between Christian's and my leanings. Then I could see if my instincts and these Chinese charts are right or wrong. Either way, I'm definitely not having a "Gabi" (no offense to those Gabis out there - it's just not my kind of a name).

Subconsciousness is weird. *grimace*