A Lemon Pie Life of Full-time Travel

This is a guest post by Johanna Read, a writer who gets paid to travel. She chose to transform a crisis into an opportunity to follow a dream, and her story embodies the THRIVE mindset. I am so excited to have her share her story here. Also be sure to read about her travels on her site!

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Guest post by Johanna Read, TravelEater.net

I have always dreamed of a life full of travel. Exploring places I’ve read about in

books, scuba diving in every sea, seeing for my own eyes how history evolves, understanding the nuances of cultural etiquette, finally learning about art and architecture, and eating. Especially eating.

But I had expected to fulfill this dream later in life, after I’d paid off my mortgage, after I’d climbed the corporate ladder, after I’d maximized my pension, and after I’d had a proper retirement party.

Sometimes life gives you lemons and you need to change your plans.

In the space of a few weeks in 2012, I found out I was getting divorced and downsized. And it was the best thing that ever happened to me.

Everyone has some lemons in their life. Bad things happen to all of us. But it’s what you do with those lemons that counts.

If I had just the divorce or just the downsizing to deal with, I would have been devastated. But the two together meant I could try something completely new with my life. When life gives you a few lemons, you can make lemonade ... but you need to really squeeze those lemons and it can take a lot of effort to find the sugar. But when life gives you a bushel of lemons, why not make lemon pie?

I still can’t believe that I started living my retirement dream at age 43. Not only travelling, but writing articles and taking photographs that people actually want to publish (and even occasionally pay me for!). In the past year I’ve been on six continents, including a press trip to China. The majority of my hotels -- and sometimes exotic dinners, spa treatments and excursions -- are given to me free of charge, in exchange for writing travel articles. Oh, and they’re usually luxury hotels too! I’ve lost 25 pounds. My depression and anxiety are gone, and I can sleep through the night again. I can flirt in three languages. I’m perfectly ok with the unknown, in fact I think I prefer it now. I can go on months-long trips to countries I’ve never been, knowing not much more than which airports I’ll fly out of. My shyness is practically gone, and I can make friends anywhere. I’d always considered myself a happy person, but now I’m on another scale entirely. Not just lemonade. Lemon pie.

I’m not saying it is easy to make lemon pie. I’ve certainly had to make some sacrifices. I sold my half of the house to my ex-husband and invested every penny from it and my buy-out package. I own next to nothing. I wistfully remember my dental plan. For the few months of the year I’m home in Canada, I pay “family rate” rent to borrow my mum’s pied-a-terre (thanks Mum!). I’ll need to find another option in the next year or two before my mum moves in. I travel mostly in developing countries where the cost of living is low. What many people consider routine -- lattes, a movie, new clothes -- are for me the rarest of indulgences. But it was an easy decision to give up regular life in exchange for travelling the world.

I’m lucky that I don’t have children to feed or fund. I’m allowed to be a frequent house guest. I will eventually get a pension. I’ve lived my life in a way that made leaving the working world this early not impossible. I’ve always had a fear of debt and lived frugally. I jumped straight from grad school into my career, and sought promotion after promotion. I invested carefully. And if disaster strikes, it shouldn’t be too difficult to find a real job.

I can’t tell you how much I love my lemon pie life of constantly learning and exploring.

People often tell me they’re jealous. But with some planning and sacrifices, almost anyone can live their dream. There’s no need to settle for lemonade either -- make lemon pie.

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Johanna Read is a Canadian freelance writer and photographer specializing in travel and food. She's been to 48 countries (and counting!) and in the past year has been on six continents. Follow Johanna on Instagram @TravelEaterJohanna and on Twitter @TravelEater. Check out all her travels at TravelEater.net.

What am I worth?

I have changed my tactics to writing, blogging, and book selling, in large part because I am not where I want to be. Obviously, if you're not where you want to be, you need to do something differently. As part of that, I've been reading a lot. I've joined a thousand and one groups, forums, mailing lists - you name it. I've reached out to who knows how many different blogs, writers, publicity gurus etc.

About 75% of the time these people write back, in some way. Usually it is a helpful way.

In one particular instance, it was a situation where the person was making the age old case that you have to spend money to make money.

Now between the two of us, my husband and I have a little under $40k of student debt. My husband works in an industry that does not support its employees, in fact, they kind of shit all over them and then stomp on them, no matter how well trained they are. Of course, he makes too much money for us to qualify for government assistance. Our parents happen to live in one of the most expensive housing markets in the country, which means we have to live with them in order to have a place to stay and food to eat. My son has health care because of the ACA. Because of where we live, we have to commute to jobs, and because of a lack of childcare, it doesn't really make sense for me to work at this point.

This is the stress I carry on my shoulders every day.

I have tried a thousand and one tactics already to get my books into readers hands, and here is this person saying the only way I can be successful is by spending money. Money. Something I don't have right now - haven't had for a few years.

I wrote the guy and he actually wrote back, and said nothing I didn't already know. I was grateful he actually responded, but the response did something to me that was unexpected. He wasn't mean, in fact, he was very professional. But it was the fact that he told me things I already knew - things I felt like I couldn't do anything about.

I broke. I just broke. Here was this guy who was supposed to be a guru and he was telling me things I already knew. I felt so defeated.

Here I was, putting every last bit of soul and effort into this - and I still wasn't financially successful. I wasn't getting reviews. I wasn't getting people to buy my books. Granted, people love the books when they read them. Any time I talk to people about them they end up buying a copy. And loving it. Seriously. But I wasn't connecting to enough readers. People weren't coming across my books and buying them. I had a steady trickle of purchases, but nothing to write home about.

I felt like a failure. I was ready to jump off a bridge. The thought actually entered my mind. I cried the rest of the day.

Slowly reason seeped into my consciousness.

The voice (in this case my father's) said: You might not be able to buy another domain, but you could change the landing page to allow for multiple brands.
Me: Okay, I can do that. Next week on update day I can do that.
The voice: Stop 'asking' for reviews. Call in all your chips. Tell anyone and everyone who you know has read your books - I need reviews.
Me: Okay. I can do that. I'll do that.

I started doing that. I felt a little better.

The voice came back (in this case my husband's): You already knew the things this guy told you. Keep working at this. Keep tweaking things. Write a blog post about this. You have more.

I did. I felt even better.

The voice came back a third time (in this case the one in my head): There are more things I haven't done. Try them. See this through. I have a purpose. I am enough.

So here I am. I have a purpose to my writing. I want to educate empathy - specifically compassion. I want everyone to know what is possible in books, with characters, with life. I want to be a catalyst for social change. I want to leave a legacy for my son. This is my purpose.

When there is a purpose, things happen. I believe that. I have everything I need to realize my purpose. I believe I will encounter those driven to work with me. There are no accidents. No coincidences. There is will, and therefore way.

I am sharing all this because I know I'm not alone. My situation is one that has played out many times before over the centuries. I know every modern author isn't in quite as dire of straits as I am. A lot of writers have day jobs, or spouses who essentially sponsor them. I know a lot of people do not need their writing to work for them. And it is nice to have that. There is comfort in that.

I am not comfortable which is why I need you to understand exactly what is at stake for me - for people like me. I need you to know me. To understand my drive. To understand why I struggle every day to do and be more.

When you read my books, understand that through everything, I am baring myself. I am giving you a piece of me to carry with you. When you read my books, you are participating in my life through the lives of my characters. That is the gift I am giving you.

Now tell me, what is it worth?

The End (A Poem)

There are so many thoughts running through my head. At first I thought I would just journal, but then I thought maybe there are some other people who are experiencing these things.

So, as a writer tends to do, I will share. This piece reflects on issues within the last few chapters of THRIVE: HOW I BECAME A SUPERHERO and serves as a reminder that even when we've gotten through part of the journey, there's always more time to be in the crucible.
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How can a parent consciously choose something that would be bad for their child? How can a parent willfully choose the interest of a friend, stranger, or the altar of an all-mighty idea over the best interest of their child? Their grandchildren?

How can a person not see what is in their best interest? How can a person not see what will be the best for their family? Community? City? State? Country? World?

I thought these things were obvious. I feel like they are obvious. They are so GOD DAMN OBVIOUS HOW COME YOU CAN'T FIGURE THIS OUT?!?!

It must be a lack of empathy.
It must be some an attachment to a mental self unrelated to reality. So they vote for their pretend best interest, instead of reality. This is torture.

Did you know there are black churches burning in the south? In a week. Less than every 2 days...one lights.

The mustard dried up.
And the brush burns.
What a sickly gas!

I cough and sputter when smoke blows on the wind. The sun grows dark and I close the windows hoping it passes - thankful for people trained, given full benefits, and protected by unions who brave the flames.

And it's one thing when it's a dusty canyon. It's another when it's a wooden church. A church - a place of prayer, of love, hope, and peace. A sanctuary - where people seek shelter from the storms of life, of which there are so many....crossing the mid-west it feels like pinball.

Bouncing us all around, pick a season, pick a weather - you will find it here!

And here we are. And I keep watching people on their journeys, sharing their excitement - sharing their successes and while I smile I can't help feeling I should be further along.

I was supposed to be further along.

I'm supposed to be more than I am.

I was supposed to have a house, a newer car, a career, a savings account. I was supposed to have a name for myself. I was supposed to be established. I was supposed to feel secure.

I was, I was. I was!

But I am. I still am. It is hard to read another peer bought another house. It is hard to see another peer beginning their family in safety and comfort. They don't have my worries. They don't feel my squeeze.

I remind myself this is transition. I remind myself this is not forever. I refuse to let this be much longer. I refuse to withstand this longer. I can't watch my husband sacrificing so much - so much, for so little. He deserves so much more. We deserve so much more. Our son deserves so. much. more.

I will find it. I will get it. I will have this. I have this. I got this. Just a little more. Just a little longer. By this time next year, the world will look differently.

I feel this. I know this. It sits in my gut, a burning coal.
I could choke on the smoke, but I don't.
I'm Ms. Fusion in a lake of flame.
Nothing touches my heat.

And you know, the world doesn't end with water.

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For more about my story, read THRIVE: HOW I BECAME A SUPERHERO in digital, and paperback.

As an indie author, I'm a bit like a local business and depend on the love and support of readers like you. Please check out my website and become a patron.

How To Be An Indie Author 2: Process

This is the second post in a series about self-publishing from ideation through sales. To check out other posts in this series, click here.

Last post I talked about the way I come up with and vet my book ideas. This time, I'm going to talk specifically about turning those ideas into a first draft.

The Black Box

A writer turns coffee into manuscripts. Really.

For many, the process of turning an idea into a first draft is full of mystery. How can a person sit at a computer for hours and hours and write anything coherent?

Well, for me it functions differently depending on the kind of book I'm producing. For a novel, I often don't outline, at least not recognizably. I just sit down and start writing. I start with the main character, and the story develops as they interact with each new character. As the interactions build, outside forces begin to forge events, which cause characters to react (as happened in JAMES).

If the book is a sequel, I do have an end point in mind before I begin. I may have a list of questions I need to answer. Just writing them down is often enough to make sure they get addressed, but I do check the list as I write (such as what happened for FAMILY FRIEND OR FOE).

For nonfiction, I always decide the arc before I write. I write the introduction to give myself a framework, and then I write chapter titles or topics. This gives me the freedom to jump around as ideas strike me while holding true to the designated arc of the book. In nonfiction, I cannot sit still and write continuously as I do with fiction. Novels might hold my interest for 15 hours straight. Nonfiction will often require social media and current events breaks to keep me from burning out.

Discipline

Typically all this writing happens first thing after breakfast for several hours. Often I give myself a certain word count to complete daily, at the bare minimum. About half the time, I write more than my minimum goal.

This is how I know I've made some progress. I feel accomplished even if I had a rough day. Today, for example, I was going to rewrite another 15 pages in FAMILY FRIEND OR FOE, however my toddler had an epic meltdown and I couldn't seem to get focused (courtesy of sleep deprivation) so instead I decided to write this post. I still have the afternoon and I still have to get this series done as a project, so it isn't a loss. It just isn't quite the direction I expected when I woke up this morning.

And that is okay. I have my daily plan for a standard of measure. I have my long range plan to assist in my overall frame. I have self-imposed deadlines (now made easier with additional preorder options) for publication and I know approximately how long it will take me to complete any given book based on past experience. All these things are in place so I know how much more I need to do and how much progress I've made.

No matter what derails me in a given day, I still wake up and write. I try to hold to my daily goals as closely as possible (which means I still have about 10 pages left to rewrite today). This is how I get things done. It is what allows me to maintain my insane pace and complete the amount of work I do despite being a stay at home mom with a moody hyperactive toddler.

Successful Completion

All this is to say, completing a first draft requires two main things:

1. A working personalized process and
2. Commitment to the process through discipline.

Developing a personalized process does take a little trial and error, however reading stories like mine and using personal experience as a guide for what works and what doesn't will get you there faster.

For example, I am an intuitive person, so I knew my preference for revelation in fiction as opposed to outlining things in meticulous detail. If I outlined my novels, I wouldn't finish them. Period.

As for committing to using the process to see your first draft through, well seeing writing as a job helps. Breaking down your work into bite-sized chunks achievable in a day, a week, and a month makes a difference. It keeps you from getting overwhelmed. I can't tell you how many times I have looked at all the tasks involved in writing a book and become paralyzed. However, taking a breath and breaking it down into sections makes the whole thing a lot more manageable and tricks your brain into thinking it's a lot less than it really is.


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What process do you use to write? Have you tried any of the above? If so, leave a comment below. I'm always looking to improve my process.

Check out next week's publishing post about editing and of course, be sure to visit my website to support your neighborhood indie author!

THRIVE Launched, Now What?

I've got a lot further to go.

I've been struggling the last few weeks. In the wake of THRIVE's publication, total exhaustion set in. I want to get a whole bunch of things done. I want to work. I know there are things I should be doing. I know this.

I think part of me felt like I hit my milestone and that was that. The project was over and I could space out. And it was a lot of work. And some of it paid off, but mostly it was just the beginning of a larger lead up to more things....which mean the dividends haven't come in yet.

I've been reading a lot about this, especially through my author forums, which have proved invaluable (for which I thank Clara, as strategic a person in thought as I am in feeling). In these forums, muckety mucks slum around with us peons. And it is great for the peons, and gives perspective to the muckety mucks. We find out how much more we have to do, and they realize how much they've done.

I have to say, honestly, it can be disheartening. I am at a disadvantage with what I am able to do (limited primarily by resources). But there are also things that encourage me - such as the reminder that this process is never over. Books do not stop selling - and with the internet, they can always reach more readers. There is always someone else who has not heard of me (Okay, in my case, at this point there are probably around 7 billion, but even for the famous author, there are probably 2 or 3B.).

This is actually a good thing because it means I can always do more for a book - there is always more that could lead to sales. Also it is a bad thing, because, well, it is never done.

Right now, after the insane push I made with THRIVE, some part of me thought the momentum was already there. That I could sit back and enjoy THRIVE having a life of its own. But I'm not there yet. I've hardly begun. It feels like the week after mid-terms where the tests are done, but there's another half semester to go. The nights of studying are not over. The note-taking is hardly finished. And I have no energy. And I'm struggling to get FAMILY FRIEND OR FOE rewritten, which while turning into an excellent book, is going much slower than I'd like. I have until August 2nd to finish the manuscript and upload it to Smashwords (incidentally, you should preorder it to get the 20% off price before it goes live!).

And after that I need to work on ANDREW, and redo all the Rollins Pack covers, and revamp all those books, and finish proofing SIX DEGREES.

And while all this is going on, I need to continue working on speaking engagements about THRIVE, guest posts about everything, possibly blog hops, and remembering to eat and sleep... sometime.

When I do all that, not only will I feel damn accomplished, but I will have transformed my life. And that is incredibly exciting, but it is also a lot of work. And I need to keep reminding myself that it is worth it. I need to keep developing better systems for getting everything done that needs doing, that assures forward progress.

Here's to efficiency, effectiveness, encouragement, and energy! And crossing my fingers I get all four in hand...and soon!

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Transform your life and heal through my memoir and small steps for 32 days!

Get digital copies of THRIVE: HOW I BECAME A SUPERHERO and TRANSFORM TO THRIVE: 32 DAYS FROM VICTIM TO SUPERHERO!

You can also get paperback copies of both the memoir and journal.

THRIVE Guest Post: Insatiable Hunger

I am so excited to share this guest post by Amy Oestreicher. She is an amazing human being who embodies a superhero spirit. She THRIVES despite everything she has experienced. I hope you find her as inspiring as I do.

"Follow Your Bliss" by Amy Oestreicher

I am, and have always been hungry. When I was a child, I was audaciously, passionately hungry for life, and theatre was my nourishment. I had one goal: Broadway or bust. As a performer, I was hungry to make a difference in the world. What attracted me to the stage initially was the ability to give to the audience, to offer something of myself, to make an impact on people. I was hungry to matter, to make my mark. My days were spent making hammy home movies, begging my parents for an agent as soon as I found out what one was, and dragging them to the city for countless auditions. I was hungry for my future – I strived for the best possible grades I could, applied to too many colleges, and really believed in the endless possibilities that my life could hold for me. I was raised believing that if I set clear goals for myself, with a bit of hard work and strategy, they were achievable. – I could experience life to the fullest and reap what it had to offer me with a bit of perseverance.

I experienced 18 years of this ravenous, insatiable hunger. But weeks before graduation, I was confronted with a new, unfamiliar, frightening type of hunger. Having woken from my coma, I have a fuzzy memory of a doctor standing above me, telling me I had no stomach anymore, I could not eat or drink now, and he had no clue if or when I’d ever be able to again. And suddenly my hunger ran deep – a helplessness in a world of uncertainty where childhood dreams and goals were replaced with the drive to simply survive. I was hungry for control of my life again, hungry for answers.

There was no “road map” to recovery for me, just the monotony and angst of passing each day wondering when I’d ever be able to eat or even swallow a single ice cube. Because I had no control or crystal ball, this was merely a wish rather than a goal. Life became scary, surreal – I could pick up food, smell it, feel it warm in my hands, but was forbidden to put it in my mouth, knowing that this old, familiar friend was now poison to my now-alien body, covered in bags, tubes, and adhesives. I felt stuck in a routine that was out of my control, a pawn in a dangerous game. My new goal: getting through.

I then made a promise to myself – as long as I was going to be hungry, I wanted to keep my old hunger alive too by setting tiny goals for myself – like trying to laugh once a day. These various mini-goals I set under a larger umbrella of the bigger goal I’d manifest each day, more like a desire that with enough dedication and faith would eventually come true: To thrive rather than just survive. I refused to feel like a sick hospital patient tied up with tubes, plugged in like a lamp, bags and drains leaking everywhere. Even though this was my physical reality, I fought against the feeling that I was weak or was less than person who could walk, live, and eat freely. Not being able to sing, or leap across a stage made me feel like I wasn’t myself anymore. So I did anything I could to reclaim my identity. Hungry for myself and for life, which once held endless wonders for me, I set a goal for myself to make a daily gratitude list, even in the bleakest of circumstances.

With an intense desire to let the world know that I was still eager to make that imprint on the world, I couldn’t allow myself to listen to doctors who thought I was too weak to do anything but lie in bed. A month after being discharged from the ICU, I landed the lead role in the musical OLIVER! – tubes, bags, starving, and parched. I was so hungry for my strength back that I put myself through my own physical therapy every day, and ended up leaping across the stage in CATS. I still wanted to make an impact on my community by teaching nursery school, learning karate, and working on a cabaret act.

With a new goal of fearlessness, I didn’t let my new restrictions extinguish my passions. Rather than avoid food, I became obsessed with it and learned how to cook, starting a food blog and making Thanksgiving dinner for 30 guests, still not able to eat a morsel. I played with my hunger by creating a chocolate company, entertaining myself for hours making edible creations for the business I had set up out of sheer starvation.

Eventually, I picked up a paintbrush…and my world changed. I found a way to express things that were too complicated, painful and overwhelming to put into words. The next year, I put hundreds of mixed media and acrylic creations in an art show, displaying work that expressed everything I’ve been through throughout these seven years. I didn’t expect a turnout, but was surprised by hundreds of guests who came to see what I had done all of these years, to know that I hadn’t just got lost in the woodwork. I was still alive, still vital.

I was unexpectedly betrayed by my own body, tested, dehumanized, and put back together, but differently, like a mosaic. Throughout the struggles, I have always kept that spark of hope in the back of my throat, that I’d be able to share my story, that I have survived this trauma for a reason: to reach out to the world, like I once did as a performer for something more than entertainment. After this detour, I still just want to give to the world, and now I can in a deeper sense. Now I know that my role in life is still to be that same passionate performer I once aspired to as a child, but now with the even greater gift of a story to tell.

At 28, I still hunger to my mark on the world, perform, finish college, and not let nine years of medical complications and frustrations separate me from my dream of education, connection, and spiritual fulfillment. I will still get there, perhaps by different means, and even a different end. Now with satisfaction in my body, real nourishment flowing through me, and true appreciation of little daily blessings, anything is possible. Hunger has taught me so much and will always be my intimate companion as I continue to crave inspiration, my mark on the world, and everything life can offer me. Life has taught me that goals aren’t always accomplished…which can be a blessing in disguise. Thank you hunger, thank you life, for giving the opportunity to discover new goals I didn’t realize I could achieve or even had wanted in the first place. You have given my life unexpected meaning by breaking the bonds of expectation.

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Amy Oestreicher is a 28 year old actress, musician, teacher, composer, dancer, writer, artist, yogi, foodie, and general lover of life.  Surviving and thriving through a coma, 27 surgeries and other trauma has inspired Amy to share her story with the world through her passionate desire to create and help others.  Piecing her life together after her initial dreams of performing musical theatre took on a beautiful detour into broader horizons.  Amy has written, directed and starred in a one woman musical about her life, Gutless & Grateful, has flourished as a mixed media and acrylic artist, with her art in multiple galleries and mounting dozens of solo art shows, and continues to share her story through her art, music, theatre and writings. 

More information on her unique story, as well as her creative ventures can be found at amyoes.com, and visit her blog http://www.allspiceandacrylics.blogspot.com/ for her newest art, music and inspirational musings.  You can also visit her Etsy shop at https://www.etsy.com/shop/AllspiceandAcrylics?ref=hdr_shop_menu

It's THRIVE LAUNCH DAY! A.K.A. Labor of Love

*Blinks*

I can't believe I made it. Here.

And yet, I feel like this is such a false, utterly arbitrary marker. It kind of feels like I planted a post months ago on this path, got here, and realized the path continues up a mountain, or down, or through a pass, or...

You fill in the blank.

For my writer friends, you may experience this anti-climatic moment in marketing. The truth is, THRIVE's launch is far from over. It is...well...forever. Until I die, really. I have the beginning of a second volume on THRIVE (at least the kernel of an idea), but that isn't what I'm talking about.

I'm talking about talking. About sharing. About continuing to reach out to readers, victims, acquaintances, random strangers, organizations, schools, clubs, religious groups, conferences, and companies. This is a message that, while contained in my tiny narrative, is bigger than me. It is important. It is important to all people because fundamentally it is an approach to life.

Around my 20th birthday, I did a small speaking tour in upstate New York about a mission experience (you can read about some of it in THRIVE in Chapter 6: Fear and Death). The big message I shared with church officials, clergy, and Christian youth, was love.

Love.

Compassion.

And ultimately, this is the central message of THRIVE. It isn't quite the same message of that speaking tour, that was the golden rule - love others as you love yourself.

No. THRIVE's message is even more basic, if that is possible. It is - love yourself.

That's the thing. All the lessons, all the perspectives, all that stuff comes down to accepting yourself. If you can't do that, if you can't love yourself, you can't heal. If you can't love yourself, you won't treat others well. If you don't love yourself, you will live in a pit of despair when confronted by trauma or suffering.

These are the two messages of my heart. Every person has messages they are meant to pass on. And mine is love. Love. LOVE!

People may think these are overdone. Said too much. But they can never be said enough. They are so simple, so essential to every action, they are easy to forget. People lose track of these ALL THE TIME! So I'm here, put on this earth, to remind you. Despite everything - despite every hurt you experience - despite every evil act and experience - do not stop loving.

And when you forget, when it gets hard, read a book to help you. Read THRIVE. True superheroes love. They love despite. That is their gift and blessing. Be a gift. Be a blessing. Be a superhero, thrive, and love.

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Ebook versions of THRIVE: HOW I BECAME A SUPERHERO and the journal guide, TRANSFORM TO THRIVE: 32 DAYS FROM VICTIM TO SUPERHERO are on sale today June 15, for a little while longer! 

Or get the paperback of the memoir and journal for that traditional paper feel! ;-) 
 

THRIVE: How to Become a Superhero

Take the chaos and shape it.

If you're in a public place, look around. Look at the people nearby. If you're at home, or in your office, imagine some of your friends. Some of the people you know.

Some of them are superheroes.

You might not realize it. You may not know all the battles they've fought - all the things they've done. And they don't have spandex catsuits (or maybe they do?). They don't have alter egos. They don't have X-ray vision given to them by gamma rays or a weird mutation that allows them to extend bone claws out of their knuckles.

These are not comicbook characters! That would be ridiculous.

No. These people are bona fide heroes. They are testaments to the enduring nature of human spirit. They are beacons of hope in a world of chaos. They are pillars of strength in the face of weakness.

But they weren't always this way. They went through a transformation. And no, it wasn't a genetically modified spider bite or falling into a vat of toxic waste that did it.

More likely it was trauma. It was illness. It was death. It was poverty. It was shunning. It was being stripped down to the bone and being left to fend for themselves. And it sucked.

This process is not fun. It is not easy. Being a superhero is not something you want to do - except it is.

When life gives you horror, terror, pain, and despair, you have a choice. You can allow it to ruin you. You can allow yourself to be weighted down, to wallow, to die an agonizing death of the self. Or you can do something remarkable. You can refuse.

You can embrace the pain and shape it in your hands into something you can use. And once you decide to do that, you are no longer on an ordinary path - you have chosen to be remarkable. And you are. Because everyone is not willing to do this hard work. There are no shortcuts in this process.

You may be wondering, "Well, Alexis, why would I buy your book? I thought it would teach me what to do!"

There are no shortcuts to the transformation. You can't be a superhero without pain. That's the rub. No one gets to that place without extreme experiences. You will suffer.

I repeat - you will suffer.

But that's okay. Because with the right perspective, the right approach to problem-solving, to looking at your life, you can use those experiences.

And the perspective requires learning and practice. It is the difference between saying "I am unemployed and therefore a loser." and "I am unemployed. I should write a novel since I have the time." When you've grown up surrounded by people thinking the former, the latter becomes difficult to do. Sometimes you need a guide. A little help figuring out how to change.

THRIVE gives you specific lessons in changing your perspective. Each chapter has a story from my personal experience. In some cases they are disturbing. But in every case, I got through the experience and used it to grow or do something remarkable. And you can too, if that is what you want.

And believe me, that is definitely something worth wanting.

No one wants to suffer, but if you do, use it. Use it to become great.

*********************************
Until June 15, ebook versions of THRIVE: HOW I BECAME A SUPERHERO and the companion journal guide, TRANSFORM TO THRIVE: 32 DAYS FROM VICTIM TO SUPERHERO are at a special price. Preorder and save! Or if you prefer paperback, order the book and journal today!

THRIVE Book Launch Week 11: Blistered and Limping

Last week time sped up. Things were all timey-wimey. I experienced about two weeks in the span of seven days, and yet, got very little done for my books. Or at least, that is how I feel.

My nutrition was off. My sleep was off. My work was off. For the last few days I've felt like I've got a hangover, and yet, I didn't have the pleasure of drinking. It's all the punishment, with none of the pleasure.

So unfair.

Needless to say, even while in the midst of this whirlwind, I've had some points of light. It has been hard to focus on them, because frankly I've had a hard time focusing on anything at all. That said, some time last week I had a brilliant idea.

I started contacting victim advocacy organizations about listing my books on their resource pages, doing blog posts, and or talking at their events. Their missions are in line with my goals for THRIVE, and that resonated. I got one that invited me to do a blog post, and one that said they would review my press kit. Seeing as I only emailed three, I felt that was a pretty good response. It seems that direction is something I need to continue to pursue. And along those lines, I need to connect with other organizations doing things on other topics within THRIVE.

It's kind of easy to find organizations working with survivors of sexual abuse. Not easy to search for the bend I'm looking working on homelessness, unemployment, and even less so with "whiteness." Hopefully I'll have some kind of epiphany of search terms this week to figure out connections for other outlets. In the mean time, I need to recover from last week. So, unfortunately, the week leading up to my digital release, is also the week I'm dragging from other things in life.

Isn't that just the way?

It is the last little bit of the marathon, and I have enormous blisters covering my feet. I'm dehydrated. I'm limping. I've got a stitch in my side. I am that stumbling runner. I'm so close, and yet it feels like every step is full of pain.

And I wonder, is the pain all worth it? When I get to the finish, will I be proud? Or just relieved that it's over?

But of course, this is just one race in a series of races. Promoting THRIVE doesn't end on June 15 with the release of the ebook. There is the speaking tour I'm gingerly putting together for next year. There are the videos I've finally prioritized with Christian to get done. There are the audio books I need to record and master. There are the organizations I need to contact, the posts I need to write... and the list goes on.

And that's just THRIVE. I have so many other writing projects this could be my full time job, plus some. It is daunting. But I'm getting ahead of myself. I can't think that far, not yet. Right now I have to concentrate on one foot in front of the other. This is the first marathon. I have to finish as strong as I can.

*****************************
LAUNCH UPDATE

Despite the craziness of everything in the past week, I was able to get the following done:

• Researched victim organizations
• Contacted victim organizations
• Wrote post and submitted to one of the above.
• Wrote first draft of submission for writing blog related to THRIVE.
• Contacted friends at universities about speaker fees
• Posted to author forum about speaker fees etc
• Did social media blitz for several days on THRIVE.
• Blog posts
• Wrote and posted exclusive story to Patreon.
• Began rewriting FAMILY FRIEND OR FOE.

 This week I'd like to do the following:

• Contact friends personally about the book - either through social media or email or both (LAUNCH DAY IS NEXT MONDAY!).
• Contact more victim organizations about resource listings, guest posts, and guest speaking.
• Follow up with friend about radio appearance.
• Follow up with contact about speaking appearance.
• Send out inquiries about speaking appearances at local organizations related to THRIVE content.
• Send out social media blast about THRIVE.
• Rewrite post for web zine/blog and submit.
• Send email blast on launch day.
• Blog.

I think that is more than enough. If I'm lucky, I'll get some videos done, but I don't know how things will go in the evening. It's one of those things that I feel like everything is so full, so intense, I'm not sure how much energy I'll have at the end of the day. And I'm pretty spent right now. I have a major case of energy drain. I have to get back on track, which considering the timing, might be difficult to do. We'll see. I'm crossing my fingers and counting on the support of many to make this happen.

When there is a good purpose, I believe things happen. This will test my belief...and that's a little scary.

THRIVE Book Launch Week 10: Help Me Fulfill My Purpose

I have a broad vision, but I need your help.

For the next few posts my format is going to be a bit different. I wanted to focus on THRIVE related stories in the blog posts and keep my update separate. That way the stories are the focus of the post. As expected, THRIVE related posts will, of course, have THRIVE in the title.

Imagine that.

This week was hard because Christian's grandma died (see my last post). It derailed my social media campaign plans and to my chagrin, the people who said they would help me with posting have completely flaked...which really sucks.

More than ever I feel the need for support, in part because of this remarkable woman's death, but also because I feel the intense need for this story to reach people. I need people to read THRIVE. I need it. I believe (and people can think what they will of this) that part of my life purpose is to share this story and change people's lives through it.

I believe the reason I suffered as much as I have is because I am not the kind of person to succumb to addiction, or to sit back, or to wallow. I really feel that my suffering is a vehicle for the healing of others and of communities. I feel at the core of my being, that lives can be transformed by this story.

I need your help.

To get this story out, I need your support. My readers. My friends. My family. My acquaintances. I need you, each and every one of you, to do the following things:

1. Buy a copy of the book - the ebook is cheap, and even cheaper before June 15 (3.99 is less than a fancy coffee!). The paperback is the standard cost for that genre - not bad and you're supporting a friend.  
2. READ it. This goes without saying, but seriously. Read it.
3. Write a review, on Smashwords, Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Apple, whatever. Just do it - please. The more reviews the better.
4. Share posts from my Facebook author page, links to the book (paperback or digital), and or tweets. Talk it up to people who might need to read this story - it could help someone get through a tough part of life.
5. If you're feeling this close to your heart, then share it with organizations, media, or other outlets and contacts that would find this story interesting. I research, but I am limited. I may have missed something. I'm sure I missed something.

The thing I learned is that I am nothing without my support system. I need your help to fulfill the vision I have for this book. I have a dream about what my story can do, and I cannot realize it without you. Each and every one of you. You have come to my aid in the past, saved me from horrible fates (something I detailed in THRIVE), and I need your assistance one more time.

Please. Help me do this. Help me reach out to people suffering in silence. Help me pull them out and show them how they might live.

Thank you.

**************************
LAUNCH UPDATE

What did I do last week? Ugh. I feel like several weeks have passed in the span of one...

• Print copy of Lilith and Ammon
• Print copy of The Brothers
• Print copy of Lovers and Rivals
• Amazon Kindle copy of Lilith
• Kindle copy of new version Brothers
• Kindle copy of Lovers
• Uploaded Thrive preorder to Kindle
• Uploaded Thrive journal preorder to Kindle
• Blogged

And this week?

• Aggressive social media campaign posts - G+, Twitter, Facebook, author forums
• Blog posts
• Solicit organizations for Thrive as resource listing
• Solicit organizations for speaking engagements
• Upload to Patreon
• Start Family, Friend, Foe rewrite (WOOHOO!)

 I think that's enough. Remember, June 15 the Smashwords price will jump on THRIVE and TRANSFORM TO THRIVE. Until that point, you get a significant savings so make sure to PREORDER NOW! Unless you want to buy the paperback, in which case...ORDER NOW (the journal too!)! :-)

THRIVE Book Launch Week 6: Temping

Keep moving. It's all temporary.

Recently I had an epiphany, which is strangely related to THRIVE.

I realized even though I still get freaked out, depressed, or angry, even in the moment I see the experience of those feelings as temporary. Before, I felt bad and it made me feel like the whole world was awful and there was no light. Now I recognize I am reacting to a specific situation, which will pass, and it does nothing to hinder my progress.

Before I might have wallowed. Now I give myself the freedom to feel, accept the feeling, and then move on to do what has to be done.

My core situation is solid - I have my family. We love each other. Everything else is dressing. Everything else is a game. I move the pieces. I try different things. I experiment. I have fun. I get annoyed. And at the end of the day, I come back to my husband and son.

While I haven't been in war, I've been torn down enough to know that I have what really matters in life. I have family, friends, and an extensive support network who surround me with love. In this, I have been extraordinarily successful. And I am profoundly grateful for this situation, and for the epiphany that everything else in life is just fun and games.

Really.

That is not to say that my actions don't matter, or that I don't want to have a legacy for my son, or a positive impact on my community, country, and planet. I do want those things.But I am open to how they play out. I am detached from a specific result. I intend to enjoy the ride. I intend to enjoy helping as many people as I can with THRIVE. I intend to enjoy fulfilling the purpose given to me. I intend to enjoy every moment of life, even the angry, sad, or anxious ones. All of these things are gifts. All of them are part of the experience - part of the game.

And it's all good. Truly it is.

************************************
LAUNCH UPDATE

It's a bit of a mixed bag, and I feel like last week was a blur. Maybe the stress of the marathon involved with this process finally caught up to me. Whatever it was, I was exhausted all week and had trouble focusing on tasks. That said, I was able to finish the following:

• Patreon blog post
• Patreon art upload
• Regular blog posts
• Incorporated magicworkers' suggestions into press kit
• Scheduled a meeting with a "connector" who has a lot of similar interests and influential friends
• Finished west coast press kit contact database (in hopes of speaking engagements)
• Reached out to connected friends at several universities
• Finished revamping LOVERS & RIVALS
• Determined ideal camera set up for videos
• Recorded prelim/video tests (need to redo for the perfect ones)
• 43% revamped LILITH & AMMON
• 75% done with "influences" page on author website
• Created "author ambassador" contact form and solicited from friends and other connections.
• Downloaded fonts for new covers
• Downloaded grammar extension for word processor

And the plan for this week is:

• Finish LILITH & AMMON
• Finish formatting THRIVE
• Finalize revamped covers for KHLOE series
• Patreon EXCLUSIVE upload of a short story
• Blog posts
• Finalize "influences" page
• Finalize first video set (especially Patreon ones)
• Upload KHLOE books with revamped covers to all outlets
• Upload new covers to website & blog
• Finalize east coast contact database
• Have meeting with connector and follow up on any relevant brainstorming/ideas

I think that's it...but I'm a little scattered at the moment. I'm experiencing that temporary feeling of anxiety the closer I get to pre-order day (May 15). In the end, everything will be what it will be...BUT, I still don't want to get caught with my pants down. I know that everything could always get picked and prodded more, and that I just have to let that go. I can't know what people will get riled about, or what will speak to people. I can't worry about it. In the end, it was my life. You can't argue with experience. It was. It speaks for itself. And I can't control what others hear.

THRIVE Book Launch Week 5: Grateful

I am jumping out of my skin because I am SO excited.

I am excited about revelation, helping people, transformation, joy, heartache, and the power and strength my journey has given me.

I am excited by the wonderful people who surround me with love and life every day. What wonderful people the world has made! How lucky I am to be blessed with them in my life!

I am so grateful for the support I have received for this project (THRIVE) already. It feels as though I am walking with arms wrapped around me, hugging me, urging me, holding me up, and pushing me ever forward - picking me up at the slightest stumble.

You, my dear friends, are what this is all about. Really. And I love each and every one of you. I really, truly do.

I would be a fraction of myself without you - a lone filament. This, I know beyond doubt, as you prove yourselves time and again. No one is alone. Each person is a moment - a point in time, in a network of relationship. Touch a thread, and ripples move across the web. And when I reach out, I see more connections than I ever expected. And this - this is glorious.

*********************
LAUNCH UPDATE

This past week went in a slightly different direction than I anticipated, in part because I had a mini burnout, inspired partially from computer troubles. Thankfully my wonderful partner corrected that. So this is what I completed in the last week:

• 90% LOVERS & RIVALS revamped
• Author website up and running (domain and hosting purchased etc) - http://alexisdonkin.com
• Outreach to target group of magicworkers for campaign/marketing advice
• Tweaking and completion (really this time!) of THRIVE manuscript
• Developing database of contacts to receive press kit (in hopes of securing speaking engagements and possible book purchases)
• Blog posts
• Patreon posts
• Brainstormed/outlined serialized writing for Patreon subscribers (more on this later!)
• Brainstormed additional tabs for website (influences with relevant links?)
• Implemented daily back-ups of documents
• Outreach to author forums for social media boost & marketing advice
• Made social media picture posts
• Updated social media
• Linkedin
• G+
• Facebook author page
• Twitter
• Patreon

This week I hope to get the following done:

• LOVERS & RIVALS 100% revamped
• BROTHERS & L&R covers revamped
• BROTHERS & L&R revamped books on Smashwords & Amazon
• Patreon uploads (first look at me reading book excerpt? artwork inspired by novels?)
• Videos - 
• intro to author site
• intro to Patreon, 
• Patreon thank you 
• reading book excerpt?
• Blog posts (of course)
• Begin revamping LILITH & AMMON
• Continue developing THRIVE contact database
• Do social media/marketing planning with magicworkers
• Contact blogs/influencers about guest posts/blurbs for book(?)
• Finish formatting THRIVE for publication

It is a lot. I know. BUT... we're coming up on the pre-order date for THRIVE (May 15) and I need to have as much ready as I can. The more preparation, the better this whole enterprise will be.

P.S. If you want to be a part of the journey....LET ME KNOW! I need a team of committed ambassadors for THRIVE. It is an important book with an important message and I want it to help as many people as it can. With your help, its reach increases!

My Book Launch Extravaganza

Is this the last door I have to walk through?

Thus far I haven't had much success in marketing my books. I have tried many things and none of them have really made a difference in sales. Let's take a look...

1. Blog tours - after contacting multiple websites (like almost 100) I got one site interested...if I had my book in paper form.
2. Soliciting honest reviews - no one followed through.
3. Book giveaways - this only generated moderate interest...
4. Asking people to talk about the book (friends etc) - no one did, except maybe my dad...and a couple true believers (who I really love for their devotion)
5. Publishing multiple books in one calendar year - not as much profit generation as you might think.
6. Guest posts on other blogs - only got one or two to happen.
7. Goodreads - cut off self-published entries and is not hooked up to any social media so...why?
8. Connecting with other writers - just a lot of stress from people who are fumbling around just as much as I was
9. Wattpad - still not sure how to connect with readers here...
10. Twitter - not really my market for my books so just led to a bunch of mutual following without many sales.
11. Facebook groups - asking for help...few responses if ANY
12. Facebook pages - minor interest/reach with few sales if any
13. Signing up for mentors - none
14. Asking for mentors in entrepreneur organizations - uh....NONE
15. Having scheduled blog posts - I have no idea how this influences sales...or doesn't. My following and favorites on Twitter has increased because of this and definitely my Facebook engagement increased. But sales? Hmm.
16. Getting published in literary magazines or websites - I wouldn't know because even with extensive research on the zines/sites, I still haven't gotten published here. I think this is in part because my stories are too...political and generally dark. No one wants to read about dystopian reproductive rights...says the average genre journal...
17. Sending book launch press kits to media outlets - zip...and no coverage (This is after I modeled my press kit after those available on line and had people who submit these REGULARLY check them out for viability.)

So you see, I've tried A LOT of stuff. I have. But I never tried a serious launch.

Which is what I'm doing now.

My goal is to have THRIVE, my upcoming memoir/self-help book available for pre-order on Smashwords by May 15 (goal remember...) and outright purchase June 15. Along with this, I plan to have a journal guide/daily meditation book available along the same lines as the book (to be used during or after reading, although it could be stand alone) available one the same dates.

I am being really aggressive. In preparation for the launch, I am designing/building an author website (finally!), revamping my current library (Read: double extra special proofing of text as well as redoing/sprucing cover art AND revamping book descriptions etc). I have a social media campaign strategy which I will be asking for help on (and participants will receive huge thanks in video and the website). I will be developing a press kit and will send this out to all the media outlets I know, and possibly organizations with interests related to the topics in THRIVE.

This is a big deal. I am very passionate about this book because I am doing something with it that I have never done - I am revealing myself. More than anything I've produced, this is important to me and it must do well. It must because through the vulnerability of my revelation, I can help people. Yes, the success would be nice for me, but the purpose of this isn't me. It is about helping people, changing perspectives, and making an impact for the better. I am committed to this, burned bridges behind me, burned the boats...however you want to think about it. Because once this book is published, there are no take backs. It cannot be undone.

And that is scary. And exciting. And thus...I will do something else I have never done - a real book launch.

In the time leading up to May 15 and June 15, I will periodically blog about the process and the book (hopefully will get some guest posts going at a few other sites). I will let everyone know when the website is up (hopefully by May 15). And of course, I will probably have a few videos (hopefully) about the book and available on the website and my YouTube channel (which I've largely ignored to this point).

It's a big deal. It's a big plan with an aggressive timeline and multi-prong approach. It's big. And it's kinda my last shot. It's kinda all of the eggs.

I'm pretty sure it will work. I'm crossing my fingers.

Ideas and Inaction: The 2 Water Dish Problem

Is that the right path over there?

For creatives, or starving artists, there's a problem in the realm of ideas. There are too many. Certainly that is my problem.

I wake up and have twelve different ideas by breakfast. Some of them I dream while in deep sleep. Others I discover in the course of getting my toddler dressed. Others I have while reading through my social media feeds. And then, when I have these ideas, I have to decide whether I should keep thinking about them - let them develop into something.

The process of vetting such ideas takes maybe a few seconds, but it always goes more or less like this:

"Oh shit! That would be an awesome story!"
"It would. It really would. People would read that."
"Damn! I could write that kind of fan fiction!"
"No I couldn't."
"Yes I could."
"No I couldn't. How could I get into that character's head?" Pauses while thinks through how that would work.
"Wait, yes I COULD! WAHOO!!!"

Keep in mind this happens daily. It happens daily all the while I'm working on several other projects. And this is not the whole day - this is just before breakfast.

You see the problem.

I don't have enough time to follow through on every idea. I can't. It is impractical. I have to prioritize. I have to decide which ideas are worth pursuing. Which ones would I enjoy? Which ones would benefit society? Which ones would be profitable?

This is the same problem creatives, like myself, encounter with jobs. As a creative, I am capable of doing a lot. I have the skills and abilities to make magic happen because I have this wild potential-seeking mind. I solve problems constantly. Ideas bloom, literally, in my sleep. I cannot keep up with them. So of course I do well in problem solving environments. I can do anything in theory, but that doesn't necessarily mean I flourish.

I could, for example, work in a 9-5 job. But, frankly, I might kill myself. I don't say that as a rhetorical device. Working 9-5 doing something that is busy work, surrounded by hundreds of cubicles makes me want to jump off a bridge. Really. There isn't enough variety. People are telling me what to do and how to do it, when those are the kinds of things I excel at on my own. It is soul sucking and does not make use of the extent of my gifts. So of course I would bang my head against the wall and need to take some kind of mood altering prescriptions just to survive.

That is not living.

But what about traditional jobs that do honor my tendencies? What about jobs that do allow me to make use of my crazy idea creation and vetting process? Where are they? What are they? How do I find these things?

The easy thing is to decide what I want to do and then find that.

*blinks while looking blankly*

Right. Remember how I just explained the different ideas I have? Remember how many I have every day before breakfast alone?! What do I want to do? How do I figure that out?

Well, there are the books by career counselors that can be helpful. But what if the required skills you need to do the thing you want to do are out of reach. What if, for example, I decide I want to be a professor for a day job and then, I am rejected by the doctoral programs that would essentially guarantee me such a position (or at least make it possible)?

That is a pickle.

So I end up staring down at my list of ideas, like my wild and crazy skills, wondering how I can cobble them together into a job.

I mean, I know. I know what job I want. What kind of success I want. I know that. I've got it in my head and I visualize it every day (read: comic convention panels, women's conference panels, writing workshops...the list goes on). But, the path to getting there is foggy. The ideas run fast and hard and I can see about twenty different routes to achieving the same thing. Which to choose?

It is like the dog with two water dishes. He sits there, staring at both, getting progressively more thirsty, never drinking. How does he choose? Which one is better? The answer is neither. They both have good water. Both will work. It is whichever one he likes. But the dishes are the same, he thinks. But they aren't. One is on the left, the other on the right. One is nearer the window, the other nearer his owner's chair. It does not matter which he chooses, except that one quenches his thirst and makes him feel good.

But I might regret not choosing the other dish!

Yeah...well...cost of business. All paths will reach the destination. Both dishes solve the problem of thirst. But sitting there ruminating about it won't do anything.

I am actually drinking water. I have actually four books that will definitely be published this year. Two are finished, but in revision phases. Two just need a few more chapters complete and will be done. That's kind of amazing. That means I will have finished four books while watching a toddler...since January. That's kind of remarkable.

I am definitely drinking the water here. I submitted pieces to magazines and got positive rejections (I just added a third to my group...) which means I'm getting closer on that front as well. Closer, but not there...yet.

But in the mean time, waiting for thirst to abate, I'm wondering if this is okay. If my time wouldn't be better spent doing other things. Should I use my skills somewhere else? Should I do something else? Should I have a day job outside of raising my kid? Could I manage that? I applied to a few traditional jobs, and I have to admit that I'm cautious. I mean, if I do not pursue my dream, my vision, part of me will die inside. It is that tension - the tension of giving up, of accepting defeat, versus continuing to battle, continuing the pursuit. The first is pushed by society at large (like, get real). The second is glorified (as in, "Wow! I could never do that! You're amazing!").

I think, no matter what, it is better to be on a path to achieving the goal than not. Not achieving the goal - the dream - is not okay. So I store my vetted ideas for later refusing to get distracted, continue pushing on the ones I've prioritized, and act as though I know what I'm doing. Which I don't. I'm just guessing here and hoping for the best. I mean, I think that's a pretty good idea.

The Waiting Game

Watching time go by...

Lately all I do is wait. I'm just waiting. My own version of purgatory.

"A 34? Proceed to window 7. A 34? Proceed to window 7."

That is what I may as well hear. Because I'm waiting.

I'm waiting for responses to my doctoral applications. I'm waiting for those responses because I cannot make any choices without that information. Honestly, I haven't determined the choices I would make in hypothetical scenarios. So I snap at those closest to me. I curl in a ball on the couch. I hold on to the present as best as I can, as best as I ca wait.

I'm waiting for feedback on my nonfiction book. Waiting to respond to all those social media posts that clearly don't have experience in the things I do. That don't seem to understand what they are saying to people who share my secret life. Waiting to reveal myself, my history, for all its horrors and glory. Waiting to make a splash even as the waters are dark, filled with sharks and blood. Biting my nails. Donning my armor. Watching. Sharpening my sword. Waiting.

I'm waiting for someone to read book 4 in Khloe. Waiting to be ready to reread it. To rewrite it. To draw the cover that it is meant to have. To be inspired into that art. Waiting to publish it, for those fans loyal to the series. Waiting to push it against all those science deniers...waiting to connect it to the stories of the extreme things that should only be the stuff of fantasy, but are real. The drought...the storms...the insane snow...are real...and where do they come from? Waiting.

I'm waiting to get that mentor promised me. Waiting to hear back from websites. Waiting to get help recording videos - recording audio - creating platforms. Waiting to have enough time to work out. Waiting to decide what I want to do with my life. Waiting to pay off my debt. Waiting to change the world. Waiting to have people understand my deepest depths. Waiting to get a job. Waiting to be independent. Waiting to have the benefits I so desperately need - the rewards I so richly desire. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting.

I am not a patient person. I have done all that I can do to prepare. I have done all I can do to hold on to this vision in my head of a future, of a more wonderful life. I just can't wait any more. I can't stand another day. I can't stand another hour - another minute - another second. It is crushing my spirit - my mind - my heart.

I just want to hear...

"Alexis? Proceed to window 1. Alexis? Proceed to window 1."

INFJ Dream Team?

INFJ: Just imagine what you can't see...

In the last few days I've been doing super crazy research about my MBTI type. In fact, I've been providing ample evidence of my own type - INFJ - in pretty much everything I'm doing (My reaction to stress is on full throttle these days...if only I could find a television show on which to binge the picture would be complete!).

It's crazy. Well, maybe neurotic. Which is further proof I'm an INFJ.

Thanks Myers and Briggs! You've provided an excellent explanation for all my actions! Sheesh!

So what have I been researching about MBTI types? Specifically I've been looking at ways to overcome my weaknesses and strong-arm myself into personal growth in ways that I am not inclined to on my own.

First I decided I should have a mastermind group - a group of people to mutual assure success of all its members by addressing problems and concerns of each individual. This is an idea I've thrown around for ages, however never definitively concluded how to go about setting up such a group. I am, as you might expect, driven to perfection. Therefore I wanted this group to be, well, perfect. The question I asked myself was, who would be on the dream mastermind group for an INFJ?

Necessarily, a dream group for an INFJ could serve as a dream group for others as well (though I haven't concluded who would be in such a group, so I cannot absolutely confirm this would best benefit other members...or even myself definitely.).

I threw around different types and finally stumbled upon a few sites with relationships across types. For example, an INTJ is supposedly my companion. We think about the world in a similar way (intuition babe - it's killer). We make systems and, well, we're *right.* ENFJs are my buddies, because, well, we're just shades of the same type (introverted or extroverted). I might be a bit more, uh, "psychic" than my extroverted buddy, but for the most part, our values are very similar.

All this is to say, I decided I need an ENTP and some kind of ST temperament in my life (possibly an ESTP, even though it might make me bang my head against the wall). I'm also increasingly convinced I should have some kind of SF in my life (ESFP? ISFJ?). Basically, I need to collect them all - all the temperaments at least - in a conscious, deliberate way.

I know -  this sounds a little crazy but lately I've felt like I'm surrounded by NFs...all the time. Everywhere. I love my little intuitive feeling group, but I need some variety in my life. Desperately.

The reason is I need to be pushed - pushed out of head and heart and into reality a bit more. I need to be pushed to try the things that are scary for me (and maybe I would push scary for these other types too? After all, INFJs are human lie detectors...and somewhat oracular. Not a comfortable thing for most people.).

So now what? How do I find these people? Do I put an ad on Craigslist? Do I go to some MBTI forum? Do I solicit my social media connections for recommendations? Suggestions? Volunteers to be a part of my success group experiment?

This doesn't sound diabolical at all....

And you, gentle reader, have you done anything like this? What was your success? Failures? What would you have changed if you could have? I'm open to direction (and possibly scrapping the whole venture if deemed a useless exercise). Leave a comment below!

Life Success System

Transition can be so beautiful...

According to many business minded blogs, systems are the way to success. This is what many self-made people argue, and indeed, it would appear this kind of structure helps ensure focus. When a person has a system, a standard operating proceedure to fall back on, it guarantees that certain things get done no matter what.

It might seem a little awkward to talk about "personal standard operating procedures," after all, applying a business concept to one's life feels rather robotic. That said, I can say quite honestly that it works. I can say this, because in order to fulfill my promises to myself and ensure I achieve my goals, I have implemented a few systems of my own.

At first, it was a bit of experiment. I started off with some casual things. Once I experienced a little success with these smaller items, I decided to apply the same concepts to other areas of my life.

Because I hate veiled language and undelivered promises, I will explicitly share with you what I have done and then what I intend to do. In short, I'm going to give you my system. Keep in mind, it might not work for you. Just because it works for me, does not mean it will for you. The fact is, a system only works if it is used consistently. If you cannot follow it consistently, then do something else. This means you may experience some trial and error. I can attest that I have tried all manner of things and I have finally come up with something that works for me (and works for me in all aspects of my life).

The first thing I wanted to do was change a few habits. In order to do that, I downloaded a 21 day habit app (21 Days Effect from Google Play). I then chose three habits I wanted to establish. Each day I had to check into the app and choose whether or not I had completed the habit for a total of 21 days. At the end of the 21 days, I would input three new habits (or select one of the previous for another 21 days).

Now, I will openly admit that I need the check in. I need some accountability and I hate failure. Hate failure. I cannot stand being unsuccessful at something, thanks to a strong perfectionist streak. The check in, even if it is just within the app, is enough motivation for me to maintain focus on my selected daily goals for the 21 days.

I decided to choose some physical goals - like calorie counts and exercise quotas. Later, after a little success with the app, I added some professional goals. These I based on the things I feel called to complete in order to achieve my long term vision for myself.

My long term vision is a five year plan that includes my writing, finances, level of reknown, "day job," and family life. In order to realize that vision, I divided it up into yearly items. I realized I could only control myself, and so rather than worrying about how things would be received, I decided to ensure I did everything within my power to realize my vision every year, month, day, and hour.

This year, it meant applying to doctoral programs (check!), publishing a nonfiction piece (in beta reading as I write this post), finishing the Khloe Alwell series (80% finished with the manuscript of the last book!), finishing Andrew from the Rollins Pack, and completing related marketing/publishing changes for all related items. On top of all that, I need to assure my family is provided for. In order to do that, I need to have a way to make money consistently.

That seems like a lot when I write it out like that. Okay, actually it is a lot. But if I break it down into bite sized chunks, it isn't. Really. In fact, I plan to get it all done by July.

I decided the order in which to get these things done. First, my nonfiction book is in beta reading. Until I get feedback about that, I am unwilling to publish it. In the mean time, I can write a guest post or media packet item once a week related to the book.

Next, I decided to focus on Khloe. My Khloe fans have been waiting patiently for the last installment, and it's time I fulfill my promise. I gave myself several weeks to rewrite the 80k that was written, and then another month to complete the first draft. Then I gave myself a couple weeks to rewrite into a second/third draft. When that was complete, I would send it to a few beta readers. With feedback, I'd do another draft, give myself a day for coverart, and publish. I took less than a week to rewrite the 80k and already I am up to 92k. By giving myself very achievable daily goals, I am able to pace myself and maintain momentum. When I have more time and energy, I rewrite or write more. When I don't, I focus on reaching my daily goal.

By putting my daily writing goal into the app, I have added accountability. It is enough to make me feel like I'm in a race with myself, which is ideal for the competitive perfectionist.

Needless to say, I divided the tasks for Andrew in a similar way and will complete it when I send Book 4 to beta. After Andrew, I hope to have my nonfiction piece in hand, will rewrite it, and publish, along with a nice marketing campaign in relevant sites and blogs. I get my daily goals done before I do anything else, and I'm golden.

Once those book related items are done, then it is time to focus on developing a consistent income stream. In my five year plan, my books do that for me. Right now however, I need an alternative. This is especially true if I enroll in a doctoral program.

I have a TON of business ideas on any given day. In fact, it's a little crazy how varied my ideas are (products, services, websites, brick and mortar...you name it). There are several issues with this, however...

1. Isolating the best idea.
2. Hammering out the details.
3. Making it work.

In the past there was also the question of having enough energy to get started. Getting started is the first difficult thing. The second difficult thing is continuing before the idea builds enough inertia to be self-sustaining.

Getting started is scary for me, but I can do it. In the past my true hurdle was waiting for sufficient inertia.

I have written more than enough books to feel good about publication. I feel good about my overall plan. While I continue to follow my plan for writing, marketing, and publication, I need to decide what I idea to develop for a consistent income stream. That way, when I have finished my publication goals, I can transition seemlessly to my business/income development goals.

So far my system works. I'm moving along on a good clip. I am sure of my success. I just need to decide what that success will look like and then I can make it happen. I have a system for that.